7.16.2014

wednesday things

1. Yesterday it was in the low 70s with no humidity. IN JULY. I wore a cardigan, and I was comfortable. I could've cried it was so wonderful.

2. Sometimes, I accidentally on purpose dress up like Seth Avett.



3. Does anyone else feel you it takes longer to find something to watch on Netflix than it takes to actually watch something? Netflix should be more like Pandora: it updates based on your preferences, and you can thumbs down shows and movies so you don't have to keep weeding through the same junk. There's so much that I have no desire to ever watch. We've been all over some documentaries lately. If you want to be mildly horrified/ intrigued, watch When Strangers Click. It's extreme versions of online dating. Right now we're watching a documentary on Enron, because we #yolo really hard around here. Also, it has confirmed that I still do not have even a fundamental understanding of the stock market, no matter how much I've tried. I'm good at other things, you guys. I know other things.

4. James just got a new phone, a Samsung Galaxy Note. He decided he needed a break from Apple (don't talk me about this yet...I'm grieving)(how is he supposed to understand the full extent of my bad day if I can't send 17 crying face emojis?). What I can't get over is how big this phone is. Have you seen it? You could snowboard with it. You could serve a meal on it.

5. On Friday, I spilled coffee down my shirt, cleaned it up, and then immediately spilled it down my shirt again. Yesterday, I spilled it on me and my desk three times. I need help.

6. I had to call the gas company this morning because our bill was wrong. First of all, I hate calling  gas and electric companies because that means I have to call someone, and because they know you're forced to use their services. They know you can't threaten to disconnect and use someone else when they're not giving you satisfactory answers. But when they asked me for my phone number to verify my account, I remembered it. Small victories.

7.13.2014

the sunday currently, vol. 6


reading: Attachments by Rainbow Rowell, and it is so darn good. I started it last night before bed, planning to only read a chapter or two, but instead I read 111 pages before forcing myself to turn off the light. But then again, that is kind of my status quo lately. This is the first weekend in a while I didn't read an entire book in one day.
writing: just whenever I feel like it lately, which is exactly how it should be.
listening: to the fan at the moment, but a whole lot of this song lately:


thinking: that it is stunning how nasty people can be. And also that the Farmer's Market is the best thing ever, and I can't wait until next Saturday morning to go again. Except this time I'm going early. Mainly to avoid the incredibly hot sun.
smelling: the faintest scent of the quiche I made for dinner. I think it might've been one of my best yet. I also made a lightened up avocado pound cake, because I feel personally obligated to make all weird recipes I come across. And it was...bizarre.
wishing: for thunderstorms. All the good ones were just a few miles south of us today.
hoping: I sleep better tonight. I couldn't sleep last night, and once I fell asleep I had crazy nightmares about people trying to break in, and then the cops arresting me instead of the burglar that was holding me at gunpoint. James said I was screaming in my sleep, which I've NEVER done before. I blame the full moon. Or the horrible week I just had.
wearing: a pair of aeropostle pajamas pants I've had since I was 16. They're just so comfy I'll never get rid of them. And also because #fashion is important to me.
loving: everything I got done this weekend. I've been so lazy most weekends this summer, but I knocked out a huge to-do list that I've had for months. I did so much cleaning and purging that my back is aching and I'm exhausted, but I feel really good.
wanting: junk food, in a major way. Send help and cheese fries.
needing: see above.
feeling: hungry. For some reason I accidentally typed that with the caps lock on, which I should've left because my hunger/need for junk food is definitely in caps lock territory at the moment. And also excited, because a green table I've been eyeing on Target's website for many months finally came back in stock and then went on sale, and I snagged it.
clicking: on crackerfarm's new video, and my email, because my parents are in California and my mom's emailing me pictures she's finding of me at my grandma's house, including one of me as a toddler dressed up as an entire marching band. Coming soon to an #OOTD post near you.

7.11.2014

let's hope I never get arrested and need to make a phone call

Our internet has been really slow lately, so James called Time Warner a few days ago to upgrade our internet since the quality of our Netflix streaming is of the UTMOST importance around here. We were told that in order to use this new internet, we had to pick up a new modem at their customer service center. Since it's much closer to where I work than from where we live and where James works, I said allow me! I would love nothing more than to leave work to stand in a long line. 

Or something like that.

But I left work yesterday mid-afternoon, mildly glad for the break, thinking I shouldn't be gone more than twenty minutes or so at the max.

(LOL)

I walked inside and took my place at the end of a very long line, but I didn't even have time to think about the line over the SCREAMING of CHILDREN. Two little boys were having a full tantrum on the floor. I know that poor mother was embarrassed, and I know that children are supposed to be a blessing, but I'm telling you, my eardrums, my headache, and my patience begged to differ.

After a thirty minute wait of wondering if I should just go back to work, I was finally called up. I told the man what I needed, and when he asked my phone number in order to verify my account, I went:



I. COMPLETELY. FORGOT.

I 100% forgot my own phone number, the one I've had for years that I've never forgotten before. I remembered the area code, but that was it. I couldn't have told you one number I thought might be in it. We stared into each others eyes as I mentally threw over desks and flung open the file cabinets of my brain looking for something to jog my memory. And here's the thing: I KNEW he was going to ask for my phone number! I knew it was coming, yet I was at as much of a loss as I would be if he had asked me to recite the Declaration of Independence in Swahili. I stuttered a series of "I...uhh..well..hold on a sec..." as I remembered that SOMEWHERE on my phone it has my phone number. Since I was already in a panicked, embarrassed frenzy, I hit all the wrong apps, tried to find myself in my contacts (AS IF I would call myself), and searched my settings. I was on the verge of texting James a !!!!!911 WHAT IS MY PHONE NUMBER DON'T ASK JUST HELP!!!! text when I blurted out the first phone number that popped into my head.

It needs to be stated (although I'm sure it's already abundantly clear) that I cannot be put on the spot and expected to function. I go completely blank anytime I'm caught off guard. One time, a man in a bakery asked me a question in French, and even though I understood him perfectly and knew how to respond, I was so flabbergasted that SOMEONE IN THE REAL WORLD IS SPEAKING FRENCH AND I CAN FINALLY USE MY SKILLZ that I responded in Spanish. So never put me on the spot and trust me to do what I'm supposed to do, because each and every time I will fail miserably.

This time was no different. As the phone number was coming out of my mouth, I knew it was all wrong. I had ZERO idea whose number it was or what corner of my brain I pulled it from, but it came flying out of my mouth before I could even process it. I repeated it several times, trying to convince myself that maybe it really was my phone number and I'm just losing it, but each time I said it I was even more sure it wasn't mine, even though I couldn't remember a shred of my own. As soon as I found my number on my phone, the man managed to pull my account up with my name, and we both read the correct phone number at the same time. He looked at me with amused pity and shook his head in disbelief, and I made him swear that he would never utter a word of this to anyone. Not that we know the same people, but I needed the comfort of hearing him say it.

To make the situation better, we didn't need a modem after all, which I suspected all along. So the entire experience had been for naught, and I also had to work an extra 45 minutes to make up for the extra long break.

However, I was not going to be able to rest until I discovered whose number I had spouted off. I knew it wasn't James' number (don't ask me for his number either. I just know that when I hit his name in my phone, he answers). I started to think maybe it was an old cell phone number, or an old friend's I used to have memorized, or maybe my mom's? I had no idea. I got back to work and scrolled through my family's numbers trying to find a match, when I finally found it. It was the number to my dad's office. THAT I HAVEN'T USED SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. I call his cell phone now, so I haven't called his office phone in ages, and I only had to dial it when I used my parents'  house phone, in high school. I haven't been able to remember that number in a long time; I even tried to remember it a few months ago and couldn't. But apparently it's just my own number that I can't remember.

7.10.2014

hell hath no fury like a woman with cravings

{this post brought to you by my hormones. I am not responsible for any secondhand cravings this may cause.}

I mentioned my intense craving for salt and vinegar chips the other day. I was hoping it would pass quickly, the like the 24 hour flu.  My plan was to ride it out, see how it goes, you know, LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY. But then I woke up the other day, and the first thing I thought of where those crunchy, tangy, morsels of heaven, and I knew this was going to be a lingering issue.

I tried all week to avoid them. There was a small bag of them for sale in our break room, and every day I told myself I would buy them, but then I would chicken out. Eat your carrots, Michelle. You don't need those chips. I'm not one to crave chips. I love them dearly, I do, but they're only an issue if there's an open bag in front of me. Because then I will try to only eat one, but I will then eat the entire bag. So I avoid them, because to invite chips into my life, especially kettle chips, is to invite trouble. And we all have enough trouble as it is.

The week went on in similar fashion, except it has been a no good, very bad, horrible, terrible week. One of those one-blow-after-another kind of weeks, and all things that are very out of my control. Except for when I ruined some spoons in the garbage disposal, but I plead the fifth there. So Wednesday morning I woke up and said I will have a better day today, even if it kills me. The cravings persisted, and I determined that I was going to do something about it once and for all. Maybe. I grabbed a salad at Whole Foods for lunch, and while I was scooping some sunflower seeds on top I thought you know, the chip aisle is right there. So I meandered over, my heart in my throat, wondering if Whole Foods would stoop so low as to sell something fried in oil. My eyes scanned the shelves as my heart pounded, until THERE THEY WERE, IN ALL THEIR GLORY.  Sea Salt and Vinegar Kettle Chips. I am literally salivating just typing those words.

I grabbed them and bought them and showcased them as soon as I got back to work. "I DID IT, YOU GUYS, I FINALLY DID IT. " The heads of women everywhere popped up at once. "YOU GOT THE CHIPS? ARE THEY AMAZING? I'VE CRAVED THEM ALL WEEK TOO!" One girl found some on sale and had been hoarding them, suffering from the same salt & vinegar craving. I blame the moon cycles. And the girl next to me shouted FINALLY! in great relief, happy I'll no longer pester her all day with questions like don't salt and vinegar chips sound good right now? Would you eat some if I bought them? Wait what if I don't feel like sharing? No really though, don't they sound good? I can't blame her. I was a bit obnoxious.

I inhaled almost the whole bag yesterday. I paced myself as much as possible, but it was no use. With every bite my outlook on the world in general improved greatly. In a brief moment of strength, I finally closed the bag with a binder clip and tossed them in a drawer, but I could hear them whispering to me all day long until I'd grab another handful. I kept my dignity and left some in the bag for today, but I guarantee that by the time you read this, they'll be gone. But they're from Whole Foods, so I comfort myself in the thought that they're probably fried in the tears of Himalayan monks instead of vegetable oil. So, you know, fewer calories and all that.

But either way, it was worth, it my friends. Life is too short. Some time you just beed to buy the darn chips. And chocolate. Buy that too. "No carbs, no fun." -Shakespeare, in his lesser known work, A Midsummer Night's Dream of Food.

7.08.2014

life lately



1. If you're wondering how much fun I had last weekend, I read two full books and started a third. Take that how you will. I'm working on a slew of book reviews and recommendations for you.

2. I should not be allowed to drive in a thunderstorm. Torrential rain? I'm fine. Blizzard? I'm scared, but I'm fine. Lightning directly in front of me? I'm screaming and flailing and accidentally swerving toward a tree.

3. Yesterday I craved salt and vinegar chips so intensely that I almost scalped myself out of pure misery.

4. On Sunday I did a little shopping with my mom and noticed that some stores were starting to put out a few cardigans and sweaters. I did not hate it. I fondled a few of them and have been daydreaming about pumpkins and rain and scarves ever since. Deal with it.

4a.  Speaking of mi madre, Happy Birthday, Mom!

4b. Reasons she is awesome:

1. She used to do computer programming stuff for NASA, aka she is brilliant.
2. She's hilarious. (see: your mom jokes)
3. She can knit a pair of socks/shawl/sweater/cabled scarf so beautiful it'll make you'll cry.
4. I discovered the Backstreet Boys in elementary school because I found the cd hidden in her car.
5. Her scrambled eggs will forever be better than mine, and I still can't figure out why.

5. If I didn't study English, I probably would've studied American History. Do you know how much I love it? More than girls love stripes. I could read a history textbook for fun. James and I have been watching HBO's John Adams series, and I've researching books to read on the American Revolution. Just because I'm no longer in school doesn't mean I have to stop learning.

6. I watched Ever After recently. That scene where Jacqueline says "I'm only here for the food" has been burned into my brain for eternity. Even when I first saw it as a kid I remember thinking "I feel you, sister." That's how I feel about life some days: I'm only here for the food.