listen, I have issues

Apparently today I'm supposed to talk about my flaws. I have a lot of them. Would I list these in a job interview? Heck no. But since we are all best friends here, I'm going to let it all hang out. Get ready.

1. You guys, I overreact.  If you could see them, everyone who knows me in real life is vigorously shaking their heads in agreement. My M.O. is to freak the ever living heck out over basically everything. I will cry over spilled milk. I will shout from the rooftops that the world is ending because I can't find my other black sandal. I will occasionally throw a minor temper tantrum when Chipotle forgets the guac on my burrito (though if you ask me, that is JUSTIFIED anger)(and it happened last night). The good news is it only lasts about 5 or 10 minutes before rational Michelle takes over again.


2. I'm sure by now you've heard the word "hanger" referencing hunger/anger. What you probably don't know is that this word was invented for me. I have this thing called hypoglycemia and if I don't eat every few hours I WILL DESTROY YOU AND EVERYTHING AROUND US. It's a legitimate issue for me. Whenever rational Michelle starts to lose her footing, murmurs of "feed the beast! she needs to eat! how long has it been?" start to fly everywhere.

me 24/7

If I don't eat, I turn into a hunger-fueled monster ravaging the nearby pantries and refrigerators while crying and screaming.  Ok not really. But there have been times.


3. An excessive use of "your mom" jokes. Some people think this is a weakness. Some people say "Michelle, you are 24. Get a grip." And to them I say "YOUR MOM NEEDS TO GET A GRIP. BURN!" and then I sit in the corner by myself and giggle for an hour.

But no one-AND I MEAN NO ONE- outshines my mother at your mom jokes. She will do things like purposely knock on the bathroom door just so I say "who is it?" and she'll say "YOUR MOM!" and then we'll laugh and laugh because SHE IS MY MOM AND IT'S JUST SO FUNNY.




STILL WANNA BE FRIENDS!?!?!?

things you won't learn in school

my arms looks fake

+ Roasting vegetables in the oven will set off the fire alarm.

+ It is better to not make much money at a job you like than to make bank at a job you hate. Trust me. There is nothing I believe more than this. When you hate your job, it colors so many aspects of your life. 

+ Chances are your friends will not be your friends forever. Most of them tend to disappear after a few big life changes. The people you think are your best friend will probably be the people you will eventually hide from in the grocery store. 

+ Everything you could ever need or want can be found in Target's dollar bins.

+ The whole coffee shop hang out scenario in Friends is not real life. In the real world we call that you and Netflix on a Saturday night.

+ Going out is overrated. Staying in with a good book is highly underrated.

+ You will probably be poor for a long time, but if you're like me, any job out of college makes you feel like you're flushed with cash compared to the money you had in college.

+ Having an education won't make you smart. You will be perpetually shocked at the idiocy of those around you. 

+ As fun as the freedom of college was, it is way more satisfying to get a job and make a life for yourself. It's also annoying and hard, but it's satisfying.

+ Your parents are a lot smarter than you think they are.

+ Remember those days when you left class rejoicing over not having homework? In the real world we call those Casual Fridays.

+ The "what do you plan on doing with that degree?" question is now the "what do you plan on doing with your degree/when you are buying a house/getting married/having kids?" question. Basically the same thing but on steroids. And nothing can prepare you for the amount of self control you will need after being asked the same thing for several years. 

+ Memorial Day Weekend is the adult summer vacation. 

+ That annoying friend who won't quit talking about her boyfriend is now the friend who won't quit talking about her wedding or kid. No ones to hear about it still.

+ Cats are better than roommates. 

+ The frantic last minute test cramming you did the morning before a test is the way you'll feel running to the time clock every morning at work. 

+ The people you wanted to punch in school are probably the ones who end up with a show on MTV. 

+ The people in school who bragged about internships and grades and grad school scholarships are the ones who brag about buying a house and having kids before you. They will always be there. You just learn to ignore them and take pride in the fact that you get to sleep through the night and not write hefty mortgage checks. 

+ The feeling of doom and gloom at the end of every summer becomes the feeling you get when your favorite tv show ends. 

Clearly I have not recovered from The Office finale. 

the best of michmash: puking on airplanes, Mean Girls, ikea disasters, etc.

Hey yo peeps!

(Sorry. Too much coffee this morning)

(Just kidding! NEVER TOO MUCH COFFEE.)

Are you bored at work? Do you need a break from your screaming child? Are you looking for a little light Tuesday reading? Well I have got the thing for you!

Today for a limited time offer, I have compiled five of my favorite posts I've written that also happen to be some of my top read posts. For all you new people around here, I thought you might like to get an idea of what kind of lunatic I am. But this offer is only available today!

How blogland is a lot like mean girls
An open letter to the fashion industry
Why do these things happen to me?
The day I puked my way across America
On loving through the unexpected

Just kidding. All these links AND MORE are in my about me. Go to town.


Over & out,

SHELLDBELL

guess who's back? back again? michelle's back, tell a friend!

Hey, hi, how are ya?

In case you forgot what I look like. Also, I'm not mad, just hungry.

I've been in an internet funk.

Like I've hated the internet for a solid week now. No reason. I've just hated it. And I didn't want to blog. No reason. But I'm good now. And I missed spewing all my thoughts all over you guys, so I'm back!

So where have I been the past week? I'm so glad you asked! Let me tell you all about it!!

1. I had a horrible week last week. James and I took a 4 day weekend staycation to celebrate our anniversary, and once I got back to work it seemed the universe was punishing me for taking time off. It was brutal. But all is well now.

2. We stayed with my parents for a night last weekend. I had a photo shoot with their cat Joe, helped my dad plant his garden (I can't wait to have my own!), and ran into people from high school and the three of us silently decided to pretend like we didn't all see each other. A typical day back home.

3. I GOT TICKETS TO SEE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE (Justin Timberlake!). But wait! It gets better! WITH KELSEY AND ALISSA. They are coming for a weekend in November, and we're all going to the concert together. I can't even breathe I'm so excited. Also, I realize NSYNC is no longer a thing, but would it kill JT to have a Bye Bye Bye moment? My inner 13 year old Michelle would faint. If only I could go back 11 years and tell her she would have tickets to see him. Swoon.

4. We got our new apartment! Ok, so we can't move until July 21st, but we know which one is ours! And it's in the building I was hoping for. It's perfect. It's a 10 second walk to the gym and pool instead of a 10 minute walk, AND it has a view of a big grassy area and trees instead of our current view of a parking lot with rusty carports. I am so excited. Now to find a new couch and dining room table and dresser...

5. Sobbing over the Office finale. I'm in mourning and will be for the next 13 years. But it was the most perfect series finale I've ever seen. Perfect.

6. I'm still stuck in the hole that is Lost. It's taking the edge off the end of The Office. I'm one episode into season 3 and I have so many things to say I don't even know where to begin. It's all just so trippy. I mean, what is real? I don't even know anymore.


Whew. It's good to be back.

2 years

Happy 2nd Anniversary to the boy who:

+takes me to the Cheesecake Factory for avocado egg rolls and tiramisu cheesecake.

+plays guitar at 6:30 in the morning while I'm eating breakfast.

+goes to the grocery store for me and also brings me home purple daisies.

+annoys me more than any person on the planet.

+makes me coffee every morning.

+snores and says he doesn't.

+gets me hooked on Lost so I have no choice but to abandon my life and glue myself to the TV.

+supports me in anything and everything, but also calls me out when I'm being an idiot.


The past two years have felt a bit like a lifetime with the amount of things we've experienced. Hopefully the next two years will be a little smoother. Either way, I wouldn't have survived a second of it without you, nor would I have wanted to.