4.20.2012

Friday's Letters


Announcement! Attention! Hear Hear!

I have a new button...finally! Feel free to snag it. I'll be making more sizes, hopefully this weekend.
Ok. Carry on.

Before I start this week's letters, I need to give you an update from last week. Remember my letter to the grunting italian jersey shore man from the gym?

Well.

He hopped on the treadmill next to mine the other day. We have little tv monitors on all the machines in the gym, and I looked over at his out of curiosity. What would a guido wannabe watch while he works out?
*drumroll please*

Jersey Shore
Yes, I caught him watching Jersey Shore. It was a beautiful moment.

Ok. Here we go for real now.

***
Dear whoever wrote the leases & contracts for this company,
I'm officially frightened. The amount of errors I found makes me questions whether you had any kind of formal education. Also, how did you get your job? Can I have it? Because clearly, you are in over your head here. But I do have to thank you. When these contracts were handed to me to look over for "one or two errors," I felt like a baller handing in pages covered in yellow highlighter and pencil markings. Hey! Look how smart I am! I found all these things no one else did! Maybe my college degree isn't a waste after all!

And all my former grammar/editing professors sang three "Amens" in perfect harmony.


Dear Noel Kitty,
As you've noticed, our new bed no longer allows you to burrow yourself underneath and snooze between rubbermaid containers and old Christmas wrapping paper. This makes me happy. This makes you angry, as evidenced by your scream-meows late into Wednesday night.
However, I love that you are using this opportunity to snuggle next to me all night. Waking up this morning to your cute little furry face was the sweetest thing. I love the way you roll on your back and look up at me with a soft meow, begging for an early morning belly rub. It's like you knew I had a bad week and are giving me a little extra love (which is actually you wanting more love from me, but whatever. I'll take it).






Dear Ikea,
Thank you for finally sending the correct parts to our bed (pictures to come)! I might consider setting foot in your establishment again.


Dear West Elm,
My new bed has been whispering to me late in the night. It tells me it needs one of your quilts. That every new bed deserves a West Elm quilt. And who am I to argue with my new bed?
However, we need to have a discussion about your prices. What exactly am I paying for other than cotton and cute fabric? Was it hand stitched by Jay-Z? Is there a secret lining of pure gold and diamonds? I need to know. Because I'm not sure how much longer my bed can go on without a cute quilt.



The end.
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9 comments:

  1. I find the price of bedding to be ridiculous! If you want any sort of quality you are going to be paying an arm and a leg. Luckily one of Nick's aunts quilts all the time and gave us a quilt for our wedding and it just happens to match the color of our walls. I fought using it for a long time as our main bedspread, but now I'm loving it. Now I just have to go buy new sheets, oh well!

    Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

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  2. I am very excited to see your bedroom all together!

    I'm stealing your button, too. Have a great weekend :)

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  3. Let's just be honest, West Elm makes EVERYTHING better. And I just happen to have a coupon right now. Thank me later, go with me to West Elm soon!

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  4. I found you through Friday's Letters. Your kitty is so cute! West Elm is dangerous. I have to tell myself to not look.

    New follower!

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  5. "Hand stitched by Jay-Z" I am dying at that!

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  6. Oooh, nothing makes me happier than correcting grammatical errors...gives me such a rush ;) haha

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  7. Ha. I'd never heard of West Elm, but I Googled, and yes- pretty!!

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  8. Ahhhh West Elm. A girl can certainly dream...
    And I find that I wake up spooning with my dog. The joy of having pets :)
    Happy Sunday, Love!

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  9. so grabbing your new button yay!

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