6.29.2012

friday's letters

Dear Old Man (the same guy who called me out in this meeting, fed the mouse in his office, and if you follow me on twitter, the same guy who read a 6 page essay to us in a meeting and awkwardly took me out to lunch last week),

Today is your last day. You are finally retiring. Months of calling me down to your office so you can hand me files and tell me which drawer to put them in (while you sit and watch!), throwing a legit temper tantrum when you can't find a pen, and getting mad at me for cancelling meetings when you told me to has made me nearly rip all my hair out. I know you did a lot of good things for people. I mean, someone had to like you because there were BAGPIPES at your retirement party. Actually, come to think of it, it might mean they hated you. Those babies were shrill. But I wish you well in your retirement. And thanks to me, you now know how to copy and paste. You're welcome.

Sincerely,
Your very joyful secretary whose job just got a smidge easier

*insert happy dance here*

P.S. I was just told you want me to pack up your office.
P.P.S. Not happening




Dear James,

WE'RE GONNA PARTY ALL WEEKEND LONG!


Love,
Your 12 year old wife trapped in a 23 year old's body




Dear America,

Thank you for having a 4th of July in which I get to take the day off and eat delicious foods. Also, thank you that it happens to fall right when I'm about to quit my job out of pure frustration and disgust. Knowing I have a day off next week has gotten me through this hellish week without accidently turning in a two week's notice. And by "accidently" I mean "completely on purpose."

Sincerely,
A very appreciative citizen




Dear Lady who just walked past me,

Why are you wearing pink pajama pants to work? It's casual friday, not hobo friday. Also, are there pictures of milk bottles on those pants? Oh, and if you don't mind, could you please refrain from knocking on the walls of the elevator while you're in it? YOU GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK.

Sincerely,
Someone who will never understand the things you do

P.S. You walked by again. They are not milk bottles. They are cocktails. Not sure which is worse. At this point it doesn't even matter.



Dear Ohio Blogger Meet-n-Greet,

You are one week from Sunday! And I am mildly terrified. You will all probably think I'm a total weirdo. But since I've been getting to know some of you, I'm getting super excited. I apologize ahead of time for my utter awkwardness in person.

Sincerely,
A very shy girl

P.S. Let's all be friends.
P.P.S. If you want to go, click on the button on my sidebar for more info!





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25 comments:

  1. I MISS THE POOP OUTTA YOU!! I am so glad we found each other :) haha Looks like you have been doing awesome! I am looking forward to looking around and seeing what you have been up to :) I found you on instagram so now we can officially be friends again and stalk each other! haha

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  2. I laughed out loud at some of these letters! Your work letters were hilarious! I found you via the link up, and I'm super glad I did!

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  3. hahaha! as an admin assistant i can totally relate to similar crazy coworker behavior! my office is very casual, jeans every day all day. but pj pants? that lady is taking it to a WHOLE new level. wow.

    don't be ashamed about boy meets world, who didn't love that show?! rider strong crush for life! i lived in manayunk for 2 yrs, which is the town just below roxbourough where Boy Meets World was supposedly based!

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  4. Have fun watching Boy Meets World this weekend! Ha...I'm a bit jealous :-)

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  5. Love Boy Meets World! And I'm going to the Ohio Blogger Meet-N-Greet too, and I'm also insanely nervous and excited at the same time! Have a great weekend!

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  6. Horrible bosses are the worst- I'm glad your boss is leaving! Hoooray! :)

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  7. I want to be IRL friends and go to the meet-up with you! Can I be your date? I mean, it's the least you could do since you've already accepted the invitation to come over to go swimming with me, right?

    And of course, I LOVE your letters!

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  8. And you're kind of forgiven for the centered text. Kind of. Sort of. Okay, you are.

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  9. yippeee for fourth of july!!!

    so thankful to have found your blog...my daily laugh quota is now fulfilled:) love Katie

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  10. Having next Wednesday off is amazing. Having July 4th-15th off is even better. I'M SORRY. I had to brag. Had to. Now, I'm done.

    Jealous that you're going to a meet up. Seriously. I need to have one, but have no one to have one with!

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  11. You are too cute!! And I want all of those DVD'S!!!! I'm grateful for the 4th of July as well :)

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  12. Congrats on being so friggin' hilarious.

    I read a bulk of this out loud to my boss. we work very hard.

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  13. LOL Congrats on not having to work with mr.crazy any longer.

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  14. i'm sure you'll be just fine at the meet up though i have to admit i'd be a bit terrified (and by terrified i mean talking myself out of going). your boss sounds like a piece of work and i would absolutely put my foot down and not pack up his office. tell cory and topanga i say hi.

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  15. When I saw that you got the whole Boy Meets World series I giggled. After you made mention of watching it I couldn't help myself, but I hopped over to amazon to see how expensive it was. I'm thinking I may have to work it into the budget for next month?! I don't even know if my hubby remembers that show/even watched it at all. I on the other hand was obsessed! Boy do I miss TGIF on ABC! Way classier then anything else that's on tv now.

    I can't wait till the 4th either! Hope things start getting a little better at your job. I've been praying for you! Hope you have a wonderful weekend! (At the end of any comment or blog post I realize I use far too many exclamation points!)

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  16. Hilarious letters. Have a great weekend!!

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  17. Dear Michelle,
    Thank you for always making me laugh! I know you HATE your job but, it makes me wish I could write letters to certain people I work with. Unfortunately, I think they read my blog!?!
    Have a great weekend!!

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  18. I just lol'ed (and got a weird look from my husband) at "its not hobo Friday." Im glad that old man is retiring!

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  19. We had this horrible old man retire last school year. We found out about a month ago that he and his wife of 20+ years are getting a divorce. I honestly believe that it is due to the fact that now that he is at home all the time, she can see how awful of a human he is.

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  20. She really wore pajama pants to work? Really???

    Hang in there with the work thing. Soon you'll be moving on to bigger, brighter, and better!

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  21. Yes, very good Friday Letters :)

    I am jealous that you are going to the meet and greet. I think my husband would have looked at me like a crazy person if I mentioned that I wanted to attend. He still thinks that blog friends are a figment of my imagination. :/ I hope you have a wonderful time and I hope you update your fellow Ohioans on how it all goes!

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  22. nice "letters" :) i love me some boy meets world!!

    have a great weekend!

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  23. i LOVE boy meets world! THE BEST! found you via the link up and am excited to follow along xo

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  24. I love working vicariously through you. :) I even made Sky go back and read your office posts.

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  25. So glad I randomly found your blog through Kelly's Korner a while ago...obviously I'm just now catching up but you make me laugh so hard! Re: bloggy meet up, I just found out about it today but I might be able to come! :)

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