6.05.2012

If we were hanging out.

I'm over here today! Doing my very first guest post! You should check it out. It's on very important world problems. And by world, I mean New Jersey. And by New Jersey, I mean The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Oh yes. But you should check out Alissa's blog anyway because it's hands down the funniest blog you'll ever read.

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This picture has nothing to do with this post. I just like it.

instagram: @michellesncheese




If we were hanging out right now I would tell you I'm having a completely off day.

It could be due to the fact that I feel like someone poured 23 bottles of nyquil into my morning coffee.

Or because an episode of Mad Men gave me nightmares last night, convincing me that my husband enlisted in the army and would be gone for a year. And as he was telling me this, our house caught on fire. And then I shot up in bed with my heart racing and couldn't go back to sleep after an eternity of convincing myself it was a dream. And then I woke up at 6:30 feeling like I ran marathon in my sleep.

And then I would tell you about how I got an epic garlic bread craving at 9:00 this morning. I'm not sure why I would tell you that, but I would.

No, I'm not pregnant. Thanks for asking.

I would say something about how my boss is forcing me to go to a luncheon downtown today because someone couldn't make it and she doesn't want the company to lose money on the $50 per plate. Not concerned if I already had plans or anything like that. Just hands me a piece of paper and says "here, I signed you up for this." Also not concerned with the fact that I despise driving downtown and paying for parking.

I would tell you that things like that have forced me to look at other job opportunities. Freelance writing, especially. I'm no longer going to settle for a job I hate. I'm going to fight to be a published writer, even though I have no idea what I'm doing.

I would explain that I'm really happy with my life. Except for my job. Something has to change and I know it. I'm just trying to figure out how to make that happen.

I would tell you that two ladies just walked by my desk loudly discussing their undergarment choices. And it made me feel very uncomfortable. If you saw them, you would understand why I feel that way. Except if we were hanging out, you probably saw them too. So strike that.

I would ask you to accompany me to the nearest place serving caffeine, because the Lord knows I can barely type a sentence right now.

Oh, and we would probably laugh because those two ladies walked by again. And one of them said "my daughter has always struggled with reading, so I've been staying up with her to help her get more better at it."

And then I would ask you if she really just said that, because surely there was no way.

And you would confirm that she did. And we would shake our heads in disbelief.

And to top it off, a woman just came up the elevator and told me she had no idea what she's doing. I could tell she was in the wrong entrance and asked her if she is a tenant.

"A tenant? What's a tenant? What does that mean?" she asked.

And then we would facepalm.

See? You should come hang out with me more often. Weird things happen. Not sure why we're hanging out at work though. Just go with it.


8 comments:

  1. We would be hanging out at work because we'd be amazing co-workers - but it'd definitely have to be at a job we both love.

    Also, we would each have a drawer full of eye drops because that's how we roll.

    More better...some people, some people...

    Thanks again for the guest post! I loved it!

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  2. Oh my!!! I know this isn't a question you can answer but I just can't help asking...where in the world do you work? haha!!! At least you'll have funny stories to tell forever! hehe!!! Have a great Tuesday!

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  3. Let's hang out. But let's do it in my pool. Yes? YES.

    I think it's a MORE BETTER idea. ;-)

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  4. You should definitely freelance because I find your posts unbelievably entertaining. You're more better than most writers I read. I totally wish we could hang out!

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  5. I like hanging out with you:)
    Xoxo

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  6. Your work sounds like a fascinating place. Not a good place to work, mind you, but a fascinating place to conduct social research.

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  7. awww I hope you find something that is more satisfying for you in the workplace hon, that is the worst feeling!! Good thing is is you CAN change it--what a blessing to have that freedom!

    Garlic toast craving? You crack me up hon, I love your humor, it's adorable! Nyquil in the coffee? Do you mean you are sluggish today? Probably why you need caffeine and had trouble typing this post I guess...!

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  8. Hahahahaha. I hope you find a job that's more better. ;)

    And goodness, I can't wait to read your published work.

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