Why I don't love lamp.

When James and I got married, we started with nothing. We've slowly been in the process of buying things we need, such as a bed frame and nightstands from April's Ikea nightmare. Now that we have nightstands, we've been sorely lacking lamps. Our master bedroom lighting is one dorm desk lamp, organizer cubbies and all. Something that looks just like this.
It got the job done for the last year, but  it's seriously time for some grown up lamps. Preferably one on each nightstand, ya know?

So on Sunday afternoon we gathered ourselves and went to Target. I've always had good luck there with whatever I need and even with things I never knew I wanted needed. Plus, I got awesome lamps for our living room there last fall. So I was happy and ready to conquer the Target lamp aisle.

I grabbed James's hand and nearly sprinted through the store. As I was about to turn to the corner into the lamp aisle, I was just sure angels would start singing and there would be rainbows and glitter falling from the sky.

The first thing I noticed were lots of boring, black $50 lamps. First of all, I came to Target to save some cash. Second of all, yawn. I wanted something a little funkier, not something you would find in a model home. So I walked a little further down the aisle and was greeted with these characters lining the shelves.

Um, no thanks. It is no longer 1997. I am far, far past my frilly pink stage. Also, it looks a little hippie shag wagon to me. Double no thanks.

But then! Waaayyy up on the top shelf, above the frilly pink, purple, black, furry, zebra print, peace sign, teenybopper lamps  I saw it. I saw the one.

It's green! It's oval! It's full of funk and whimsy! IT'S ON SALE!

It's perfect...and James likes it! So I tell him to hurry! Grab another! Let's go!

And then he crushed all of my hopes and dreams and told me this was the last one.

I grasped the shelf to keep from falling over. All air was knocked out of me. No! You can't do this to me! My world is shattering into millions of tiny pieces!

And upon further inspection, the one we were holding had some dings on it. Ugh. Cue end of my life.

They had plenty of this lamp in several other colors. I nearly took home the turquoise lamps, but my life is already turquoise. It's time to mix it up, and green would look so good with my new West Elm quilt (yes! I splurged!)

We checked everywhere to see if any other green lamps had been misplaced. Nada. So we left, my faith in Target slightly bruised but still in tact. Bed, Bath, & Beyond was just over yonder, so we thought maybe? It's worth a shot at least?

Well, they had roughly four lamps. Each one of them of the "shabby chic" persuasion, and all priced around $90 EACH. Which leads me to my next point: there is a fine line between shabby chic and belongs in your great grandma's house slash junkyard.

So we went home and I looked online. I had a few trusty websites up my sleeves. But all I could seem to find were things like the "whoopsy" lamp.

Or boring black lamps for $300 each. Of course I found some I love at West Elm & World Market, but I won't ever pay hundreds of beans on one lamp. It's just ridiculous. Plus, none of them were green. I need green lamps, people.

So I checked out target.com, a little nervous because a lot of things are online or in store only. But alas! My green lamps! They were available online! So I scooped those suckers up and ordered them.

They were waiting on my front porch exactly 48 hours later. I was ecstatic. I ripped into the box as soon as I got home from work. I took out one perfect green lamp, complete with a complementary light bulb! I ripped into the other box to pull out a SILVER lamp. NOT OK. (I realize I wrote this part yesterday. But it was traumatic and needs to be repeated. Thanks for understanding).

So I hightailed it to my Target (thankfully about 2 miles away) and went to the Customer Service desk. She shrugged off the silver lamp and said she'll get me a refund. I said no! Give me my green lamp! They're all sold out. She offers me a refund again. I said no! Order me a green lamp! She said she can't do that. She gave me a refund. I was sad.

I went home and ordered the missing green lamp. I figured it would be here in 48 hours again. And then I woke up to an email this morning telling me there was a "delay" in my order. It will most likely be several more weeks until my beloved green lamp comes home. And that's if they don't send me silver again.

Oh, and did you see the part where they said they wouldn't charge my card until it shipped? THEY CHARGED MY CARD.

Moral of the story is this: lamp shopping is not for the faint of heart. Also, Target and I are not on good terms (I never thought I would say that!). 

The green lamp. It's true love. You can't fight that Target, you just can't. So back off!


  1. That is completely RIDICULOUS. I would go crazy with their customer service if they charged my card after all that. Bastards!

  2. what a bummer! i hope your GREEN lamps come soon!

    i have a target obsession, but have to say their customer service can be a little meh. they switched platforms sometime after we created our wedding registry, and the new platform didn't support the apostrophe in my last name. so you couldn't find me unless you omitted it, aka SPELLED MY NAME WRONG. they didn't seem to think that it was a big deal. UGH.

    BUT i still shop there on the regular. and we got awesome yellow lamps there. their cheap (cute) lamps really can't be beat.

  3. Stupid Target...they really know how to screw ya!

    I need nightstands...then I need lamps. I'm a little behind!

  4. I can't believe they sent you the wrong one! I've never had any trouble with anything I've ordered from target.com. (And I tend to order a lot) Hopefully your green lamps partner shows up way sooner than they are anticipating.

    Oh and about them charging your card early. Maybe that means they've shipped it? Or they just messed up. Their call-center customer service is really quite nice. I hate, hate, hate calling customer service, but the person I talked to was fast, quite nice and knowledgeable. Granted this was just about their debit cards not a purchase, but still. I'd give them a call if you're still worried by it.

  5. First, isn't it crazy the things that can make us happy or sad as we age?

    Second, that lamp is fantastic.

    Third, Target should be taken out back and stoned. How dare they send the wrong lamp and then charge you for one you haven't received yet! Jerkwads!

  6. This is a terrible story!! I love target but sometimes they do crap-up! But then I rememebr I could be shopping at Walmart and all is well. Haha

  7. Sometimes online shopping is a savior and sometimes it is a pain in the neck. I hope your green lamps show up safe and sound. I just did an exchange this morning involving a gift card. I have a feeling my credit card will remain charged and I'll get my refund in a gift card even though they promised to refund my card. Fingers crossed!!

  8. oh that sucks. sorry to hear it!

  9. Did you file a complaint regarding the charge? That's just wrong. You need to be compensated for this whole ordeal. AT LEAST a discount!

  10. this post is all things hilar.
    i especially love your exhibits on what lamps NOT to buy.

  11. A sad day at Target is a really sad day. :( I didn't even know that existed.

  12. ugh, I hate when Target lets me down. So sorry this happened to you. Hopefully soon everything will be right in your world and Target will stop sucking.

  13. I was reading your book review when I noticed this blog post that wanted me to click on it so I did.

    Did you ever get your lamp?

    1. We did! They sent us the correct one finally.


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