Irrelevant haikus

Dear lady at work:
Never should you ever wear
High heel purple crocs.

I love One Tree Hill.
A little late, but hello
Chad Michael Murray

How have I missed this?
I'd heard of it but cared not.
I can't get enough!

Grown up teenage girl.
This is who I have become.
Boy Bands? Boy Meets World?

Friday the thirteenth.
I am not superstitious.
Just noticed the date.

My travel mug is empty.
First world problems, no?

Typing that hurt me.
"At" is a preposition
Ending a sentence.

But I feel gangsta'
Whenever I talk like that.
A tradeoff, really.

No more coughing, please.
I'm not a smoker, promise.
I just have a cold.

Staff meeting today.
Every single cell phone rang.
Death stares were flying.

Dude answered his phone.
Held a full convo during
the COO's speech.

The nerve! I'm annoyed!
But I couldn't help laughing.
He does what he wants.

I wish it would storm.
Rain and rumbling in the sky.
No tornadoes, though.

Classical music
Makes me feel like Jane Austen.
British and refined.

Came across a blog
By an old friend from high school.
It made me feel weird.

Oh, that reminds me!
In high school, a girl started
a blog about me.

She was mad because
I beat her in band for first
chair clarinet. And!

She took clarinet
lessons every week but got
stuck with second chair.

She made fun of me
And my friends. She even said
That I'm not funny!

But we became friends.
I gave her half a solo.
Clarinet solo!

I was popular.
Clearly. I mean, clarinet!
Envy of the school.

Wow, what a tangent.
Sorry but I'm not sorry.
I know you loved it.

Ouch! Just banged my tooth
With my green water bottle.
Can it be 5 yet?

This is getting long.
I'm not sorry once again.
Happy Friday, friends.


  1. Really I just kinda want to be you.
    Really I die everytime I read your posts.
    I may use some of them in my class. Obvi I will ask you more specifically when that time comes, but i think you are a great example of fun/funny writing.

    youre wonderful!

  2. Well if this isn't the most random and yet brilliant post ever, I don't know what is.

    I'll give you mine.

    am i still alive?
    is this my life?
    it is.

  3. I feel like I should write this comment in haiku form, but I'm not nearly as talented as you so normal sentences will have to suffice. I loved this post! Thanks for making me laugh this Friday =)


    I should have stayed in bed today.

  5. hahaha love. i went through a phase during which i was OBSESSED with haikus - even created a blog devoted to the tiny poems.

  6. You are hilarious!!! I can't believe someone started a blog about you. I was the envy of the school too, I played saxophone ;)

  7. You are too funny– your posts always make me laugh! I was also a band-o. I played trombone, and it was always pretty awkward considering I could make it be taller than I am. I'm sad/jealous nobody envied my skills so much that they made a blog!

  8. This made me laugh so hard especially the part about the purple high heeled crocs!

    Between the lines

  9. I seriously cannot begin to tell you how much I love this.

  10. I think irrelevant haikus might be my new favorite thing.


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