I need a weekend from my weekend. Desperately.

Actually, I'm quite impressed that I'm still alive.

To celebrate my mom's birthday, James and I went with my parents to Put-in-Bay (an island in Lake Erie) on Saturday. When we bought the tickets for the ferry earlier in the week, the forecast called for 86 degrees on Saturday. Perfect.

Well, on Friday the forecast was calling for ONE HUNDRED degrees. On the lake! Unheard of.

I awoke at the painful, ugly, ungodly hour of 6:00 on Saturday morning after spending half the night coughing from a delightful cold and nasty cough that so rudely invaded my body on Friday.

So there I was, foggy headed from my cold and sleep deprived. And hot. Oh my lord, the heat. The heat! The air was swampy and sticky. And HOT. I don't know what material my shirt was made out of, but I will never wear it again. As soon as I got off the ferry I noticed a huge sweat stain. In the shape of Florida. Right under the boobs.

Not cute.

I don't even want to know what was happening on my back. Or anywhere else for that matter.

But I still had the tiniest smidge of energy left. And I used that to climb on the golf cart we rented and slump over onto James's shoulder.

We managed to find somewhere air conditioned to eat lunch. And lobster bisque revived me. Lobster bisque in a bread bowl. Yes, hot soup in 100 + degree heat. It was worth every bite. That good. I've been waiting 8 long years for that stuff.

I can't tell you much of what happened that afternoon, because I don't really remember. I fell into some heat/sickness/heat/sleepy/heat induced delirium. I remember walking into bathrooms to splash cold water on my face. Sweating. Watching people on jet skis. Angry that I was not also on a jet ski. Fantasizing about falling off a jet ski into the cold water. My fantasy interrupted by my sweat dripping everywhere. Coughing. Sweating. Wondering if it would be appropriate to knock on someone's door and ask to borrow a bed. And a shower. And maybe some iced coffee. Also, your boat please?

See, the thing about Put-in-Bay is that most of the buildings are from the Civil War era. It's charming and Victorian, but alas, no air conditioning. I know. Criminal.

The name of the game that afternoon was STAY(in') ALIVE. The heat zapped any energy I even thought about having. I sat in the golf cart, water bottle in one hand and SPF 100 in the other.  I gave up trying to take any pictures whatsoever, because like I said, I was just trying to STAY. ALIVE. Plus, the sweat stains. Those don't need to be in any pictures. And it took all my energy that I didn't have to stay on the golf cart and not slump over and fall off. Unless I was falling off into water. That would've been lovely.

At one point we crashed the visitor's center because it's one of the only air conditioned buildings on the island. I fell over onto the floor, about to beg someone to wheel me home on a stretcher. My phone told me the actual temperature was over 100 degrees. The heat index? I don't want to know.

It had been four hours and none of us could stand the heat a second longer. We still had three and a half hours until our ferry left. Thankfully, they took pity on us and let us leave on an earlier boat. Not like they had a chance. I was already prepping to puke on cue so they would beg me to leave (mom's idea!). Yes, we were that desperate for air conditioning. We all had severe heat exhaustion, and despite the water chugging, I was so dizzy and weak I think I would've fainted if I had been out there much longer. Plus, my knees were sunburned.

Don't get me wrong, it was fun. Very fun. Just hot. Have I mentioned the heat, yet? I have decided summer is best experienced by looking at it through the window of a very air conditioned room.

And then there was yesterday. I had to take cold medicine to sleep through the night, which resulted in a lovely Nyquil hangover on Sunday, plus left over exhaustion from the day before. And it was the day of the Ohio blogger meet up.

I apologize to everyone who met me yesterday. I was a walking zombie.  I'm sure you noticed I awkwardly sat there, staring off into space and forgetting to say words? I was just willing myself to keep from slumping over into a coma. I know, I'm so delightful. A peach, really. In the name of survival I even chugged an energy drink on the way there to ward off the nyquil hangover, but it did nothing. Either way, it was so nice to meet all of you! And I had fun. Even if I was half comatose.

You'll notice I am devoid of any pictures from said meet up. I refer you to the rest of this post as to why clicking a button on a camera was too much effort to make. However, Leigh Anne posted plenty. I think we need to do more of these meet ups! I want to get to know you guys! You know, like when I can function and stuff.

And now, my Mother-in-law is in town.

P.S. Pray for me.
P.P.S. Please send iced coffee.


  1. Ha ha, well I'm glad to hear that you were able to survive the day at PIB!
    I went there once to camp for the weekend. I'm not sure if there was more camping or drinking - Unfortunately.
    I'd like to go and experience it again, and actually see the island and everything ELSE it has to offer. I'll make a note to stay away from it during such high temps though ;)

  2. Boob sweat stains are the worst. Glad you made it!

  3. It's been brutal. It finally calmed down into the 80s here...I felt like I should wear a coat.

  4. It's so effing hot, it's so effing hot all the time. I wish you had puked on que, that would have been a great story, but horrible photos never take photos of that.

    Sorry it was such a sweat storm. Sorry you were sick at the meet up. Sorry sorry sorry so much sorryness... <---- not a word

  5. It's just no fun to be outside when it's that hot, especially when you already have a cold! I felt kind of the same we on the 4th when we were camping...I just wanted to get out of that heat! I felt like I couldn't even function. Hope you are feeling better today!

  6. It was SO hot here in Cleveland that day. Ugh. I don't even want to talk about it... just brings back bad memories of suffocating in the heat. I'm so glad it's cooled down a bit!

  7. Oh, geez. What a weekend! Yikes! I hope everything is going well with the MIL this week!

  8. It was 107 degrees for a week straight. No joke.
    Want to add on to that? I have a fucking BABY. Like, an actual infant baby who's cheeks turn sweaty and red the second I walked out the door and then mostly just cried with discomfort for hours. And then I got heat stroke and threw up all night.

  9. Love your blog! Just found it! Can't wait to keep following it!

  10. Wow. I'm super familiar with those Nyquil hangovers. Not fun!! So sorry!

  11. a blog post I have not commented on! or read yet. Delicious. Also, I am now hot thinking about how hot you were. ick.

    1. also this comment could be seriously misconstrued.


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