27: a poem

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Tomorrow is your birthday
No matter what you do.

Tomorrow you'll be turning 27
A year closer to seeing heaven
Excited, I know you are not
To you, 27 is a cemetary plot.

To your 26th year, you have clung
Even though you still are so young.
You still have full control of your bladder
Even as you climb Jacob's ladder.

Your skin is still smooth, your hair isn't grey
Though it will be eventually, but some other day.
You have a bad back, yes this is true,
But Salonpas is here to help, to see you through.

You're still thin, you're not at all fat,
Even though you avoid the yoga mat.
You still play guitar, and all the drums
Even if your stomach makes you suck Tums.

You're still big and strong, you kill all the bugs,
Which is why I give you all of the hugs.
Your lip ring is gone, your hair is now short,
But enough with the beard, I must exhort.

So yes, 27 is older and you are pushing thirty,
Doesn't matter to me, around you I'll be flirty.
I like that you're older and wiser, you see,
Because you help me along, I'm still 23!

You are so smart, you've got lots of brains,
Even though your shirts have multiple stains.
You'll pass on chicken, you want pizza or beef,
If you would eat your broccoli, it would give me relief.

Though you deny it, you do love our cat,
You snuggle her at night and give her a pat.
You love to go golf and hit lots of balls,
While I'd rather stay home and stare at the walls.

Does this relate to your birthday? I have no clue.
All I know is without you, I'd be terribly blue.
So have fun, smile, and eat your birthday cake,
This year it's pumpkin, much easier to bake.

But don't forget this, you're still very young,
It's not over till the fat lady's sung.
So here's to 27, 28, 29,
Maybe by then, you'll start to decline.

Happy Birthday, James! I love you!


  1. Hahaha I love the poem! I also heard that he loves your cat so much that he wants to get YOU a kitty for HIS birthday. What a guy!

    Happy Birthday, James!

  2. As always I love your poetry!!

    Happy Birthday James!!!

  3. Aww, love this! Happy birthday James! :)

  4. So cute. SO CUTE. I'm turning 30 next year so if you can rhyme something with "saggy boobs and ass" that would be great, thanks.

    Have a lovely weekend, and happy birthday to the man!

  5. Hahaha! You're the best! Happy birthday James!!

  6. I would never be this creative for my boyfriend. I think we would think I was sick if I came up with something like this.

    Happy birthday to your hubs!

  7. I love this! I hope James has a great birthday.

  8. Aww! I know a guy turning 27 who's getting this forwarded to him...honestly, they make such a fuss about it, this'll give him some perspective on (oh, say it ain't so) NEXT YEAR...

  9. Happy birthday, James! Your wife is awesome. :)


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