friends & weird conversations

I've been sitting here trying to type a blog post, but I am dead tired. A guy from accounting just walked by, took one look at me and said are you ok? The rest of the conversation went as follows:

Me: Yes, just tired.
Guy: How come?
Me: {not wanting to give an explanation} I don't know, I just am.
Guy: Well, like the commercial says, step into a slim jim.

And then he walked away.

I just don't even know. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one here who lives on Earth. There's really no telling.

But at least it finally got me writing.

And this isn't the only bizarre conversation I've heard lately. Last night while waiting for Joanna to arrive for our dinner date, I sat in the Barnes & Noble cafe, where I was quite literally surrounded by couples meeting with vendors for their weddings.

I thought I was going to break out in hives. The mere thought of planning a wedding (I totally typed "piano" instead of "planning." so. tired.) is enough to send me into a panic attack. I felt my pulse and blood pressure climbing just listening to questions like so what's the date? The theme? How many people? Blah blah blah! Here are my prices. Blah blah blah I'm taking all your money.

But then there was the DJ. If you follow me on twitter, you know where this is going. I couldn't help myself. I needed the world to know what was happening.

There was a couple having a consultation with a DJ for their reception. The couple said they wanted jazz music playing during dinner. Good choice! I thought.

The DJ responded with "Great! I can play some Miles Davis, Frank Sinatra, and Train."

Train. TRAIN.

{no joke, "Hey, Soul Sister" just came on my Pandora as I was typing Train. A little terrifying}

I wanted to intervene. To tell them to run for their lives. Can you imagine eating your chicken and mashed potatoes to "Fly Me to the Moon" when "Drops of Jupiter" suddenly starts playing? Talk about a wedding disaster.

My biggest problem isn't with Train playing during dinner. My biggest issue is that this guy is still lightyears better than our wedding DJ (I use the term "DJ" loosely here).

He then gave a twenty minute lecture on how microphones and LED lights are made. All totally relevant to a wedding. Obviously. After giving his vision for their wedding without ever letting them speak, he ended with "But this is all about you guys, not me." Ok. Sure.

Joanna showed up then and rescued me from the trainwreck of a DJ (har har). And we had the best time. THE BEST TIME. My face was aching from laughing and talking so much. Reconnecting with old friends is good. I have better friends from those four short months than from my three and a half years in North Carolina. And it's just good to have friends on the same page in life as you are. Those are hard to find these days.

I'm off to go stare at a wall. It's going to be a long day...


  1. "I'm taking all your money" - which is why I would elope if I ever get married!

    That DJ sounds like a real idiot. Train?! Not that Train was never great, but they are even worse now.

    I'm glad you enjoyed your night, especially after an awful Terrible Tuesday at work.

    Here's to hoping today goes by quickly...

    1. Oh boy, I'm clearly tired, too. Not that Train was *ever* great - EVER.

  2. I believe in making friends with anyone from the Carolina's, they're the kind that change your little heart forever.

    Girl, I'm eloping. It pisses everyone in my life right off, except like 2 people. I refuse to plan a wedding or be hugged by a thousand strangers. Disgusting. I'm not a bad person, maybe I am, who knows these things.

    Glad your meet up with the long lost friend went well, next time I'm coming. I'll bring Alissa, I guess.

    1. obviously.

      I came back to see if my gosh dang best friend has come over yet, i'll yell at her soon. don't worry.

    2. on and I forgot to tell you that i read your post to my co-worker today.. the conversation w/slim jim through.. "am I the only one on earth?"

  3. Still dying over this. STILL.


  4. HAHA I love you. And I had a great time :) So excited for our Riounion!!! (oh, I didn't tell you? that's what we should call it!) haha

  5. HAH, wow. The conversations you get yourself into and overhear. :) Sorry you're so tired, but glad it's for a good reason! ;)

  6. HAHA! If only I had your ears you always hear the funniest things!

  7. Why is Barnes & Noble the place to meet with wedding planners? I thought those were strictly technology-display venues for hipsters, like a dog park for the latest mobile devices and their owners; you get to walk up to each other, compliment one another on their choice and ask what its name is. Or a place to go on an awkward date; casual enough to reduce your stress, public enough to keep you from becoming a murder statistic. Nothing about this says "Make my wedding the most perfect day of my life," to me; unless it's a hipster marrying a retired serial killer. In which case, sure.

    1. I was wondering the same thing. Why would you meet wedding vendors at Barnes and Noble? haha

  8. I don't want to have a wedding, ever. But I want a dress. And a party. NO WEDDING.

    Also, you had me at "Step into a slim jim." One of my fave posts today ;)


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