10.22.2012

sounds like a case of the mondays: 10 reasons why Office Space is my life

(If you haven't seen this movie, watch it immediately. Here's the trailer to give you an idea. Kind of like The Office, but a movie.)


1. What I do every day:

Pinned Image

Except instead of smashing printers (though I've come close!) I'm ripping and shredding things I'm supposed to type.

2. How I feel whenever I'm not at work:

Pinned Image


4. This is my boss:





"Ummmm yeah, did you get the memo? You're gonna need to cover that meeting for me so I can walk my dog."

Also, did you finish those TPS reports?


5. "Excuse me...I believe you have my stapler."



Passion for Fashion keeps stealing my 3 hole punch and calling it hers. I feel Milton's pain.



6. The Bobs:



Management brought in consultants. People here are freaking out.

I don't think they'll be talking to me, but if they did, it would go something like this:

Bob Slydell: You see, what we're trying to do is get a feeling for how people spend their time at work so if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Uhhh. Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about 15 minutes of real, actual, work.


7. My constant inner dialogue:


This sums it up quite nicely:

Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.
Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up.




8. These are my coworkers:


Stan: I need to talk about your flair.Joanna: Really? I have 15 buttons on.
Stan: Well, ok, 15 is minimum, ok?
Joanna:Ok.
Stan: Now, it's up to you whether or not you want to just do the bare minimum. Well, like Brian, for example, has 37 pieces of flair. And a terrific smile.
Joanna: Ok. Ok, you want me to wear more?
Stan: Look. Joanna.
Joanna: Yeah.
Stan:People can get a cheeseburger anywhere, ok? They come to Chotchkie's
for the atmosphere and the attitude. That's what the flair's about. It's about fun.
Joanna: Ok. So, more then?
Stan: Look, we want you to express yourself, ok? If you think the bare
minimum is enough, then ok. But some people choose to wear more and we
encourage that, ok? You do want to express yourself, don't you?
Joanna: Yeah. Yeah.
Stan: Great. Great. That's all I ask.

Which reminds me of a conversation I recently had with someone: "Look Michelle, I know I only asked for 10 copies, but I need 15, and you only gave me 10. "


9. This is who I've turned into:


"It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care."


10. "If they take my stapler, I'll set the building on fire."


Obviously I would never, ever do that. But I'll take the vacation.





"Excuse me? Excuse me, senor? May I speak to you please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a pina colada, and I said no salt, NO salt for the margarita, but it had salt on it....big grains of salt."



 

19 comments:

  1. MICHELLE.

    This is all amazing, and how I feel every second, of every work day.

    I forgot how much I love this movie.

    I forgot how much it relates to our lives.

    I want a sign on my door that says, "I got to get out of here, I think I'm going to lose it."

    Thank you for this...this makes my Monday great :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think my place of employment would feel like paradise to you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. One of my all-time favorite movies! :)

    You need to escape that place.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can't stop.

    "It's not that I'm lazy, it's just that I don't care."

    I want that sign on my door, too.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AHH I love this movie...I was just thinking of watching it the other day, now I am definitely going to plan an Office Space evening...

    ReplyDelete
  6. #9 is happening right now. Where do you work? And how can we get ourselves out of working at jobs that do this to us?!?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love it when you post about Passion for Fashion. My favorite will be when she somehow finds your blog and realizes that you call her Passion for Fashion.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love that movie so much. The flair part gets me every time.

    ReplyDelete
  9. YESSS. I love this movie! Life can so feel like that movie sometimes – somebody is always trying to get us to wear more flair...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Been there, so happy to be working from home now!

    I make flare comments as often as possible.

    I may have to watch this soon. It's a movie my husband and I both actually like.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I need to watch this again, because back when I saw it the first time - I probably didn't have a full time job. Now that I do, and have for quite some time I feel like I would definitely relate to it more. Lol.
    I would never set any of our buildings on fire either, but I will openly admit one of the things I'm looking forward to most about having our baby in May, is that I get at least 6 weeks off. That doesn't make me a terrible person. . .right? Lol

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm back. Last time.

    Probably not.

    Definitely not.

    If anyone talks to me, I'll set the building on fire.

    ReplyDelete
  13. lol Office Space is the best.

    ReplyDelete
  14. That's what my work used to look like,too.

    Reason 189 as to why I quit.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I read this on my lunch hour. Wasn't having a great day. This made me laugh at how funny / awful work can be. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Found this post via Alissa (graceless lady) and this is HILARIOUS. Such a great post.

    ReplyDelete
  17. This totally made my day! Seriously, I haven't stopped laughing & now my belly hurts lol.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Do we have the same job? Because I feel like you're speaking for me...especially because of #2.

    That guy's "flair" gets me everytime.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I've never seen this movie, but now I'm going to. Because I feel like a lot of my job was just described here. Except everyone I work with is lovely. But I still want to run away.

    ReplyDelete

talk to me.