yuletide cheer: a poem

It's almost here, just one more week
If I don't finish shopping, I'll probably freak.
Thank goodness for Target and an hour long break
If it weren't for that, I'd jump in a lake.

We still don't have snow, this makes me sad,
If we don't have a White Christmas, I might be mad.
Ok, not really. It's not that big of a deal.
Yes it is. I'm kidding. But that's just how I feel.

One more week until ribbons galore,
But today? Today I just want to snore.
At least I have eggnog and gingerbread,
Like visions of sugarplums dancing in my head.

One more week to cram in Christmas movies
The Griswolds, Elf, and oh! I need to bake cookies.
One more week of twinkle lights and my Christmas tree,
I'll miss the Christmas music full of holiday glee.

By the way, has anyone seen all the scotch tape?
When I wrap it goes missing, like superman in a cape.
It's just as well, my wrapping is a nightmare.
It's so bad, little children it would easily scare.

There are badly mangled corners and ribbons all askew,
Which isn't good, considering I have more left to do.
"D&@* !%*#&@  #*&#!@ it"! Is what I want to yell
Each time the wrapping paper tears like the Liberty Bell.

But it's all ok, because Santa will soon arrive.
And thankfully we've no kids to wake us at five.
Bring Crosby will sing, we'll eat till we're full,
"Merry Christmas! The sh*tter was full!"


  1. Hahaha, amazing! And thank goodness for Target and hour long lunch breaks - I hear you on that one.

    When my alarm when off this morning, I was having a dream that I was in Hobby Lobby. I think I need help.

  2. I mayyyy have yelled at my hubby the other day when I was in panic mode and could NOT find a single roll of scotch tape anywhere in the house... haha, whoops! I swear, they go missing just about as much as bobby pins do!!

  3. I love your poems! I have 4 rolls of tape ready. I bet I will lose them all. I already lost my assigned gift tag pen and I haven't even started wrapping yet.

  4. Bahaha...this was awesome.

    The same thing happens to me with the Scotch tape!!! I'll set it down, make another fold in the paper, go to pick it back up again, and...it's gone. Vanished. I end up shuffling everything around for a full minute just to find it. I'm convinced tape grows legs during the wrapping process...

  5. I miss my White Christmas, I do. I do however no miss driving in the snow.

    Girl, girl, girl. I finished shopping last night.. boom. boom. boom.

    I'm rubbing it in, because I am mean. like Regina George.

  6. that first paragraph....2/3 of my shopping was via target's awesome $50 and free shipping deals...and a little bit of aeropostale's sales on the side.
    i'm so done spending money for the heck of it. even if it is gifts for loved ones. lol. :P

  7. ahhhhhhhhhhhh clever gal! Awesome poem.


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