7 reasons college ruined my life

I was working scrolling through Twitter this morning when I saw a tweet from Alissa about having next Monday off. Relief washed over me as  I remembered I get it off too. Thank the good Lord. I texted James to see if he gets it off too, but he doesn't. Cue several whiny text messages back and forth about how college ruined us with breaks.

And it got me thinking. College ruined a lot for us post grads. I mean, don't get me wrong, college was awesome and let us earn degrees so we could get good jobs (HAHAHAHA) and it prepared us for life in many ways, but it in other ways, it made the transition into adulthood even worse.

Allow me to elaborate.

1. NO MORE BREAKS, SUCKERS! After roughly 16 years of summer vacation, Christmas break, and spring break, the only breaks we have left are weekends. That's it. Just weekends. Until you die. Or retire. At the rate we're going, death may come first.

There needs to be a 12 step program for this. A support group. A weaning process of some sort. My first year post grad was full of angst and frustration over working full time ALL YEAR LONG. It's not fair.

Teachers aren't allowed to comment on this. I will not listen!

2. Weight gain. Now I know I'm not alone in saying that I might have gained a rather disgusting amount of weight since graduating. Gone are the days of walking all over campus, to and from my apartment, up the stairs of the Arts & Sciences building, and working out at the student gym. No. Now I'm confined to my desk for 8 hours a day. No moving. And I'm surrounded by vending machines that serve Little Debbie's only. Even when you eat healthy, it takes much more effort to lose weight and/or maintain.

And before you know it, your fat jeans become your skinny jeans.

3. Time off.

College: It's raining? You didn't sleep well last night? Had a little too much fun? Go back to bed! Skip class!

Post grad life: It's raining? You didn't sleep well last night? Had a little too much fun? SUCK IT UP AND GO TO WORK. And don't be late, or that will come out of your PTO.

Speaking of PTO! In college you can't skip class whenever you want, but you typically get several excused absences per semester, and you only go to that 2 hour class 2 or 3 days a week. Work? You get vacation time, but only a handful of days PER YEAR. And you're at work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Much easier to go to a two hour class and zone out than go to work for 8 hours and be "productive" or whatever it is we're supposed to be.

4. Time in general. I used to be so excited to get out of college, because that meant NO HOMEWORK EVER AGAIN OMG! But then I realized, some days I wouldn't mind homework if I could do it at 2:00 in the afternoon, sitting in bed wearing my pajamas, laptop on my lap, coffee next to me, and Full House reruns in the background. I have to say, I'd much rather be cranking out an essay for my Creative Writing class in my pajamas right now instead of sitting at a desk, pretending to work, and wearing dress pants with an itchy tag. I'm just saying, I'd think about the trade off.

And I still had plenty of time to cook, hang out with friends, work out, and do pretty much whatever I wanted to do. Now, I'm lucky if I have the energy to cook dinner AND go to the gym after work.

If I could go back to my little grey duplex where I used to complain about my lack of free time, I'd smack myself silly.

5. Job vs. classes. We all had that professor (or several) or class (Chemistry and Shakespeare, BURN IN HELL) that we hated. That pushed us to the brink and made us question anything and everything. But we could drop those classes if we needed to. And worst case? It would only last a couple months. And then you would never have to see that professor or talk about periodic tables ever again.

But a job? Well, I guess you could technically "drop" your job, but good luck paying the bills! And a job isn't something you endure for a couple months; you have it until you can get another job. And that's hard to do. Trust me.

6. Money. I had bills in college, I did.  But not like I do now. College taught me how to REALLY budget and stretch a penny. But lesbehonest, we spent our money quite differently in college than we do now. For instance, instead of stressing about shelling out hundreds of beans to get new tires on my car next weekend, I would've been scavenging for gas money to go to the beach. And for an iced coffee, because a beach trip was never complete without iced coffee.

7. Clothes.  In college, we wore whatever we wanted to class. I tried not to wear sweats, but there were days that's all I could handle. But work? You have to look professional everyday, no matter how bloated you are. Some days, making me wear black pants and a nice shirt is just asking too much.

So there we go.Thoughts?


  1. I could not agree more. With ALL of this. Isaiah gets Monday off because that lucky kid works at a credit union and they have to close because it's a federal holiday. My awesome job (I'm told) had to cut back on paid days off a couple years ago because of budget issues, and then they just decided to never add them back in. So there are 3-4 "holidays" per year that everyone and their mother gets off that I still have to work. Which is...awesome.

    I don't know why jobs don't give more PTO. It's pretty much proven that people are more productive if given more breaks. I know I am. I just end up giving myself breaks while I'm at work. Thus making me a bad employee.

    My job is making me a bad employee!!!

  2. Yes. A thousand times yes.

    The no more breaks is a killer. I know we discussed (in length!) how annoying it is that some offices are open on Christmas Eve. And having to work the day after Christmas? Noooo. What happened to a week or two off? What's SO WRONG with that?

    "And before you know it, your fat jeans become your skinny jeans."

    I can't stop laughing.

    ALSO. Why are the tags that come on dress pants SO ITCHY? I hear ya...

  3. Oh man, this post made me remember why I wanted to be a teacher... not to help kids or all that stuff... but to get time off AND the fact that not only do kids get new teachers every year, teachers get new kids. You don't like them? Well, you won't have to worry in 180 days! Not the same with work haha. On another note, I would kill to wear sweats to work. I go home every afternoon and put them on immediately.

    Meg @ myborrowedheaven.blogspot.com

  4. I couldn't love this or agree with this ANY MORE. College has spolied us rotten. I mean, a month plus off for Christmas? I got two days off this year. And one day off for New Years. And don't even get me STARTED on summer-- why don't all jobs have summer vacations? It is hard to stomach thinking about having to work year round. It makes me want to barf. I realize that 90% of the working world does this in and out, year after year, but I am a brat. And I don't WANT TO.

    The only thing I'm looking forward to is taking an extended "sick break" (I'm thinking Mono.. or Lyme Disease..) this summer to visit YOU and all the rest of the ladies I'm so dying to see!!

  5. I cheated the system a bit, and started working for a university when I graduated... so we still get some breaks. and I'm lucky I have a flexible office if I need sick days/vacation/whatever...

    but you can only cheat the system so much. ha.

  6. You just sort of made me feel better about being in college.
    except I've been here for nearly five years and have a pending Associate's Degree to show for it. AND I have the job right now too. And let's talk about no summer breaks with this gig I got. Not only is it no break, but I end up working 70+ hours a week. I basically give up on life May-October.

  7. Haha I agree with this 100%, though mostly about the breaks. My roommate works at a shipyard (federal), so all sorts of awesome holidays, I'm off to work and he's still asleep. So jealous! I just want a long weekend once in a while, man.

  8. Well thanks for that little boost of happiness you brought to my life today...oh wait.

    This is horrifyingly all so true. That whole no vacation, work five days a week for 52 weeks until you retire (in sixty years) is seriously the most depressing thing to me. That is exactly why I hate corporate life. I can't wrap my head around that shit. It's like being in prison. Except for people in prison don't have to sit at a desk all day, I think most of them still get recess. Wtf?

  9. Yes. Especially that first one. I was telling my husband about how the end of March will always be blocked out for spring break... except we haven't had one in what, five years?

  10. I have been out of college for 6 (SIX?!?) years now and I still agree with all of these things. I have gained the weight and lost the weight TWICE. On my third weight loss attempt now...

    I would much rather be in slippers right now that high heels.

    You know what I don't like? When teachers (all up on facebook and such) whine about their breaks ending. WHAT IS A BREAK?

  11. I miss college :( that about sums it up.

  12. You know what else college ruins you for? At least in my case, at least--dealing with people of average intelligence. Sure, I had a couple of evil professors, but I realize now that I actually got spoiled rotten, getting to hob-knob with brilliant professors and talk about things like Confucius and ancient Chinese history and the philosophy of ethics and the linguistic connections between Mandarin and Japanese whenever I wanted to...I miss being in the culture where it was okay to be a geek. (And I was a geek--I didn't miss one class in 4 years unless forced to by extreme illness, a funeral, or my own wedding rehearsal).
    And now I'm in the real world and beauty school has no breaks (we don't even get Saturdays off) AND they talk about Taylor Swift and the Kardashians and TRENDS. The Trends are the worst. I swear I'm ruined for normal people now... :P

  13. That's it... I'm quitting my job and going back to school full time. And I'm not leaving until Ammon makes enough money that I can be a stay at home mom. Thank you for convincing me that this is an excellent idea.

  14. Oh how true this all is!!! I mean really there are just some days that Nike shorts and a large t-shirt are a necessity.

    When your a teacher youll get some of your breaks back!! Whoooo hoooo

  15. I agree. I mean I get all my breaks (and I was even semi-complaining about working 5 days this week)This might make me a nerd, but I also really liked learning and taking classes and planning out what my next term schedule would be and trying to make it so I wouldn't have class during Days of our Lives. <--- I'm not ashamed that I did that.

  16. Wow, I never thought about this before, but YES! I wish I would've used the student gym MORE than I did because it didn't cost $2456 for a monthly membership!
    And I can't believe the whole money thing. I don't know how I lived off of LESS in college, but somehow had more free time to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.

  17. So true! Although I don't think I would go back to my college years for anything. It's nice to be earning money every day instead of having the school suck me dry one fifty minute class at a time.

  18. Since I'm currently still in college and working, I get the worst of both worlds. Having people ask you how your break was and me telling them I have a real job gets old. And the weight gain. Oh yes the weight gain.

  19. Um, preach it. The thing is, I worked stupid shifts while in school and was a grade A procrastinator. I really do relish my free time now. The one perk of being a real grown up.

  20. do you have your own column yet? you're an amazing writer, your humor and wit
    and you are savvy. I LOVE it!

  21. "and before you know it, your fat jeans become your skinny jeans". STORY OF MY LIFE!!!
    Dang, now I'm depressed. Time for ice cream!

    SO bitter at the fact that us "working" people don't have breaks anymore. I need to find a job where I work three 12's and I'm off for 4 days...that would be nice!


Talk to me! If your email is linked to your account, I'll respond to you via email. If not, I'll respond to you right here.