3.14.2013

when the 90s attack

HI PHEEBS. But this story is about the girl on the right.

Yesterday I had to go to an hour long training on bankruptcy (oh the excitement!). I was actually looking forward to it for the simple fact that I think someone slipped Nyquil into my coffee, and I wasn't ready to focus on anything, especially documents that were going to court.

So I showed up and sat in between one woman who was dressed to the nines and tapping her perfectly manicured nails and one woman who had never seen a hairbrush. My accidental greasy hair fit right in. The lady across from me mentioned how the lady doing the training had been rather stressed about the number of handouts to bring. There had been discussions and phone calls and emails over this very important matter.

Anyway, so this bankruptcy training! Well. It was supposed to start at 9:30. And then 9:40 came. 9:45...9:50...9:55....10:00. And then! Suddenly! The door flew open and a woman burst forth!

Sidenote: Have any of you see Romy and Michele's High School Reunion? It's amazing. It's really stupid and really funny and really weird. It's basically the 90's version of Mean Girls. The two main girls (Lisa Kudrow and What's-Her-Face) are girls trying to be popular but are instead personally victimized by Regina George. They even claim to invent the special glue on post-its, which reminds me of Gretchen Weiners and her father, the inventor of toaster strudels who wouldn't be too pleased to hear about this. ANYWAY. The girl on the right in the picture way up there? She's the girl who BURST FORTH into the conference room 30 minutes late.

Ok, so maybe it wasn't her exactly. But spank me like a giraffe and call me Betty if she is not the spitting image of the girl in the training. She had the same shortish hair and teased bangs, same EXACT voice, and same mannerisms.  90's cult films called, and bankruptcy answered.

When she BURST FORTH into the room, she had a huge box of girl scout cookies. She looked around the room, slammed the box down, looked at the lady across from me and barked "you told me there would only 11 people here. There's 20 people at least! You told me I only needed 11 handouts!" The lady shook her head and said "No, no I never said that."

She was very flustered from then on out. Probably because Lisa Kudrow wasn't with her. And to make matters worth, her big boxes promising Tagalongs were full of binders of bankruptcy documents. Like I said yesterday, my life is rough these days.

And I've mentioned before that the girl who sits next to me is basically Janeane Garofalo, who is also in that movie (Heather Mooney!) I've also gone through a strange bout of running into people from high school.

It's very possible my life is turning into a 90's movie.

15 comments:

  1. Your life is a sitcom, I swear!

    I have never seen Romy & Michele, and I feel like I am missing out. I'll have to hunt it down this weekend! And OMG I would have FLIPPED A LID if I was teased with a Tagalong box that was actually something else-- those are my favorite.

    SEE YOU TONIGHT!!!!!!!!


    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    1. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    2. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  2. "But spank me like a giraffe and call me Betty..."

    Okay, Betty. I have only seen parts of this movie, so it looks like Kelsey and I have some homework to do.

    How dare she put binders full of papers in GIRL SCOUT COOKIE BOXES. That's a cruel trick of nature.

    SEE YOU TONIGHT!!

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  3. That is misleading evidence, and I think you could take her to court over putting binders full of case law into cookie boxes. Let's look up the statutes and see what we can do for you.

    Someone has been stealing the caffeine from my coffee all week. I really think there's some sort of conspiracy going on around here.

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  4. I have not seen this movie. but sign me up for ANYTHING with Lisa Kudrow.

    I'm not above boob punching anyone who makes me think I'm about to get a cookie and gives me legal documents. I'm just not.

    Can't wait for tonight!! :)

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  5. That sounds like the best training session ever. You should've grabbed her 11 hand outs and thrown them up in the air and then just left. haha :)

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  6. Why would anybody carry about GS cookie boxes that had no cookies? That's just rude!

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  7. Mira Sorvino teased you with Tagalongs (only the best girl scout cookie ever)? Your life is crazy, and far more interesting than mine.

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  8. Haha, Lisa Kudrow and What's-Her-Face...seriously, who is she anyway??

    I swear, you have the best things happen to you...well maybe not the best (I'd shank a chick who teased me with cookies and then gave me paperwork instead) but the best blog material, anyway.

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  9. Love Romy & Michelle! Mostly because I have *hearted* Janeane Garofalo since forever...Truth About Cats and Dogs, The Matchmaker. Romy & Michelle. Classic.

    Would love a tutorial on giraffe spanking, so I know exactly what treatment you're soliciting for yourself, here...I aim to please, and rarely miss twice! :P

    Also, thanks you for the sentence "90's cult films called, and bankruptcy answered." It's going to get me through today, I can tell.

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  10. wow you are surrounded by the 90's, even Jeanine G. Love her though--I was not a fan of the 90's fashion though, omyword!

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  11. Oh goodness, what a crazy meeting! At least you got girlscout cookies. :-)

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  12. Am I the only one who is very confused by this concern with handouts? You always bring a million more than you think you need. And cookies, always bring way way more than you think you need, mostly because I will eat them all. That is awesome that she looked like like that girl on the right, so i forgive her.

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  13. OBVIOUSLY I KNOW THIS MOVIE.

    Maybe she invented post-its. Probably.

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