4.04.2013

and now you know why I moved away

I was sitting at my desk yesterday morning, listening to a podcast and prepping some stuff for court when I got the best series of texts I have ever received from my high school best friend. She texted me to tell me about a guy we went to high school with who was arrested for rape (that's not the good part). The best part is how she found out.

You see, some of Marion, Ohio's finest decided to start a Facebook page documenting all the latest happenings in town. The page is actually pretty popular, and judging by the comments it seems to be taken pretty seriously by a lot of M-town residents. I even reactivated my Facebook for awhile JUST so I could check this page out, and it was just as amazing as I hoped it would be.

And because I'm a gracious person, here's a little glimpse into the world I grew up in. And possibly the reason I got an English degree.

So many things wrong with this...but WAS GAVE. 


.....ok?


"GRAMMER IS'NT ARE MAIN CONCERN"


Yes, this is a true and accurate depiction of 99% of the people there. It's a miracle I made it out relatively unscathed.



29 comments:

  1. "..someone who seen it go down"...my favorite.

    Good thing grammer is'nt a main concern on this page!

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  2. Entertainment! I should follow that page too for a good chuckle.

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  3. I am STILL laughing so hard I'm crying! "Are" hometown is hilarious!

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  4. Oh my word. That sounds just like the teeny tiny town I came from. Was is a big deal to ride your tractor to school on the last day? It was for us. We had an unofficial "tractor parade" on the last day of school every year.

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  5. WHAT THE CRAP

    This is hysterical. I want my hometown to make a gossip page! Maybe Alissa and I will start one? NAH

    But either way... so hilarious. I think the grammar inconsistencies may even add to the charm.

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    Replies
    1. Kelsey...we will NEVER be able to compete with the Mechanicville Mile!

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  6. The best part is, I know so many people from IN and OH who talk and write exactly this way. Out here it drives me nuts, but when I hear it in the Midwest, it just sounds more natural? I don't know. But I really love the Disclaimer. Oh my word. "Parental Discretion is advised. It takes a village to raise a child" are they just trying to string common phrases together, or are they trying to make sense?

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  7. CANT STOP LAUGHING. Sounds like the town I lived in last year... the towns water was all screwy and it was quite the facebook topic for a while... poor grammar and all.

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  8. Welll.....at least they admit straight out that grammar don't mean nothin' to them....this kind of breaks stereotypes for me, though. I must admit, I would have expected such a page to belong to more of a southern small town....

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  9. I am dying. LITERALLY dying at work right now. I am so glad I read this. haha! Also, Circleville? Have you heard about all that's been going down? GET ME OUTTA HERRRR.

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  10. MICHELLE.

    I'm just so happy you made it out of there.

    "Freedom of speech is what we our about."

    Well, in that case...

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  11. I had to scroll through the page. HAD TO. I found an explanation:

    "None of us are immune to Marion's heroin & opiate epidemic."

    See, they DO explain the atrocious grammar and random "updates."

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  12. The "someone broke into a house and is hiding" one had me snort laughing at my desk. Our local news sucks so bad. You would think that in a city of a million people you would be able to hire someone who can write a three paragraph article without misusing their and they're.

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  13. I love every single thing about this post! Never been to Marion even though I am from the c-bus, but I so am going to follow this page. It's scary to think people behave this way on the regular, but it's also scary that people don't know the difference between "are" and "our"- which makes this page a must read!

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  14. I'm going to follow this page on Facebook.
    this is, the best ,thing ever.

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  15. I am seriously considering following this page on facebook, it's one of those "it's so bad, it's good" things, reading their posts could really brighten a bad day! The "someone broke into a house and is hiding" left me weak.

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  16. Ahhh hahaha! This is fantastic. My husband is from Ohio and I will have to show him this! Now that he's living in SC, he makes fun of us incessantly for our "y'all"s and other strange pronunciation habits. Now I have something other than "yous guys" to get back at him. :) Also, I might start following this page on Facebook.

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  17. I have no words.

    Other than to wonder if half of those grammar mistakes are on purpose.

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    Replies
    1. "Isn't are" has got to be tongue-in-cheek, or it's bullet-in-brain time.

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  18. I think I might be dying. This made my morning, day, evening, night, and week. I can't believe that people actually type like that! Yikes.

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  19. I'm surprised you don't suffer from some sort of orthographic PTSD, where the wrong they're/their/there sends you into near-fatal flashbacks. I'm nearly having a stroke over here about it myself, but that may be from having to suppress my giggles @ work.

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  20. I really have nothing to say, what do I say to this train wreck? maybe just call it that?

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  21. "Freedon of speech is what we our about." So good. So dang good.

    GRAMMER IS'NT ARE MAIN CONCERN <I believe this is obvious. And amazing.

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  22. whoa! man oh man. the grammar. i need to go wash my eyes now.

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  23. It takes a VILLIAGE. I am so glad you got out of that Villiage.

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  24. Freedon!

    I'm not really sure why you'd leave a place like that. It sounds very accepting.

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  25. OMG. How long were you able to read posts on that FB page before you took sharp pencils to your eyes?! *shudder*

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