4.15.2013

I realize I'm a day late and a dollar short, but here we go

I hung out with a good friend of mine Friday night. This friend of mine happens to be a bit of a broadway/musical theater geek, and I'd be happy if I never heard another showtune in my life (unless it's from one of about 5 musicals I can stomach). Anyway, when we got back to her place, she immediately shoved the Les Mis DVD in before I could protest, since it was her mission in life to make me watch it.

Here's my issue with Les Mis: high school. Let me elaborate. The music department in my high school was obsessed with this musical. We sang the songs in choir. We did a whole band show of the music (which I blocked from my mind forgot until I saw the movie and realized I knew every song and a whole bunch of lyrics). When the choir and band teachers didn't feel like teaching, they made us watch some horrendously boring video of people singing the songs. So I graduated high school hating this musical with every fiber of my being. Hating it. Yes, the songs are pretty and all that, but you have to see where I'm coming from here. It was shoved down my throat every day for 4 years. Several girls were so engrossed in it all I think they thought they were actual characters. It was hard to watch.

Anyway, I watched it/my friend was constantly telling me what was going on during the scenes where I got bored and looked at cat pictures on my phone. And with that, I give you my thoughts from what I actually remember about the movie, because I think the world deserves at least one non-fangirl review.

1. Walt Disney got some ideas from Victor Hugo. Jean Val Jean was arrested for stealing bread...hello Aladdin! Eponine was treated well and Cosette was treated horribly and forced to clean....Cinderella, anyone?

2. Anne Hathaway. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she did a good job. But I don't like her, so it made it hard to appreciate her scenes. I know everyone got super emotional in her I Dreamed A Dream scene, but I didn't. I just didn't. I can't even put a picture up of her because she looked so scary in the movie.

3. Seriously way too many songs about way too many feelings. WE GET IT. Just shut up already.

4. Russell Crowe bellows like Bessie the cow. I have to think he was cast as comic relief.

5. The Master of the House scene was brilliant. I loved every second of it. Perfection. I could not love Sacha Baron Cohen more in that part, and finally someone who actually tried to sound french, albeit he sounded outrageously french. This made the entire movie worth it for me.



6. Amanda Seyfried's vibrato sounds like a bumblebee. Not good. Use your diaphragm.

7. I thought the whole Cosette and Marius love story was ridiculous. From what I remember (remember, cat pictures) they see each other across the street, he creeps over to her garden at night, they sing through a gate, and BAM! They're getting married.



8. When Eponine was dying in the rain, I was waiting for Cosette to show up and declare there's a 30% chance it's already raining.

Eponine is thinking "Boo, you whore"

 9. Helena Bonham Carter's look at the wedding made me think of one thing and one thing only: Elaine Benes. Also, Mr. Master of the House's (I cannot be bothered to remember character names, and don't bother to tell me because I don't care) suit was impeccable.


see? 
10. I really liked the last scene, though judging by how many tears this musical elicits, I figured everyone died at the end. The fact that a few survived and even got married shocked me and made me giddy. Or maybe I was giddy because this ungodly long movie was finally over. Yeah, that's probably why.


All in all, I didn't hate it. Just way too many feelings.

22 comments:

  1. Haha...I actually really like this musical. But I share most of your thoughts on the movie.

    Anne Hathaway: suck.
    Russel Crowe: no.
    Amanda Seyfreid: will never be anything but Karen.

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  2. Hahaha, we have total opposite blog posts today. That's hilarious.

    I do agree though, Russell Crowe was NOT the best and Sacha was brilliant.

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  3. I totally understand where you're coming from--my Dad and all of his brothers have the exact same aversion to "The Sound of Music" because they were forced to watch the movie every year in band class, and apparently that traumatized them.

    Le Mis seems to have been a controversial movie. I don't say anything about the music/singing because I am not musical whatsoever. I know some Christian friends who walked out of the movie upset because of how much sin was portrayed. I was the one crying in the movie because of the act of grace that the priest showed Jean Val Jean--that totally undeserved grace: "You forget to take this with you, too" and how that one act so changed his life and heart. And, of course, the fact that grace is ultimately proven more powerful than the law had me in tears--so grateful that we live under the freedom of grace and not the law! Even after the movie I was crying because of that priest while talking about him to Angel. That man was truly obeying the commands of Jesus--could I do the same?

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  4. I've never seen this movie, but now I don't want to even more. I wasn't even interested when it came out.

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  5. but.. but...
    LOL I love your review of the movie! I had a HARD time getting into it at first, but I ended up really liking it. I have no idea why. I didn't cry when Anne sang her song, but I did cry at the end.. I think it was because I was watching it with my grandma? Made me suuuuuuper sad. haha But, seriously, loved this! You crack me up!!

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  6. also? I totally agree with Rachel up there! I think that may have been why I liked it. I think it just really brought the undeserved grace to mind and that really got me... BUTTTTTT other than that, I agree with you (not like you were looking for someone to agree with you, you're your own girl, LADY!) ;)

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  7. YESSSSS! I didn't like it either, and I'm so glad I'm not the only one.

    #8. I cannot stop laughing at #8.

    I haven't been able to take Anne Hathaway seriously since I saw her boobs in Brokeback Mountain. It was all too much.

    This was perfect.

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  8. I have had zero interest in seeing this. I like broadway musicals, but this one just doesn't interest me. But now that I saw that HBC is in it, I kind of want to see it. I love her.

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  9. I was raised in a bubble that did not involve showtunes or Broadway so I know nothing of and have no desire to see Le Mis. However, my bubble did include copious amounts of Seinfeld reruns and the side by side comparison is priceless! Did HBC's character happen to dance as well?

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  10. #8 got me.

    and that's my favorite scene in the movie.
    I would have stood and clapped in the theatre of Cosette did that.

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  11. #8, #8!! We said the same thing!!

    We had to watch it in segments. I think 3. I was so bored. I kept telling Ben, you know, the story could move a lot faster if people weren't constantly stopping to sing about everything!! But I'm not a fan of musicals.. And yeah, Anne Hathaway won an Oscar for that roll? She was in it for all of 10 minutes and sang a song. Wow. Fantastic acting...

    But I do agree with the master of the house seen. We had no idea that Sasha Cohen was in it so that was a good surprise and love it.

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  12. I still haven't seen it, and I'm still worried I'll hate it. :/ Your post about it is much more interesting.

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  13. Also, cat pictures. I haven't seen this yet but I feel like it will require all of my strength to not candy-crush during it.

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  14. I actually loved Les Mis, but I was laughing hysterically at #8!

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  15. I LOVE Les Mis. But I very much disliked this musical version. My favorite version is the Liam Neeson/Geoffrey Rush version - I could watch that one every day and never get sick of it. I completely agree with your assessment of the singing in this movie...I wanted to stuff popcorn in my ears when both Russell Crowe and Amanda Seyfried started singing. AWFUL. I honestly didn't even think Miss Hathaway was an amazing singer...too much fake sobbing while singing.

    I'm going to stop before I get hate e-mails. Suffice it to say this version made me simultaneously want to go to sleep, and claw my eardrums out.

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  16. GURLLLLL this made me straight LOL. I have a real hard time separating Amanda Seyfriend IN ANY ROLE from Karen Smith. In "Letters to Juliet" (if you haven't seen that yet... don't.) I kept wondering when Karen got smart enough to read and/or navigate her way around Italy alone.

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  17. Still haven't seen it. I'm waiting for a night when my husband won't be home because I don't want to listen to him complaining for the entire thing.

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  18. I haven't seen it. We kind of want to, but it isn't like, bucket list worthy. Also, it frightens me, but I still have band show choreography memorized. And I can still remember the score to all of the marching shows we did. It's disturbing.

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  19. I haven't seen it. I have only heard a few of the songs, and I like them, but I don't know if I could listen to it for 3 hours...

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  20. I watched it a couple of weeks ago and even though I'm a theater person I was not impressed - did they really have to sing the.whole.entire.time?! NO. Russel Crowe? Just stop. Amanda Seyfriend needs to stop pretending she can sign and while I actually like Anne Hathaway it didn't feel like she was in the movie long enough to deserve a little gold man. Helena Bonham Carter and her manly man partner in this movie were gold. /the end.

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  21. i haven't seen it....and thankfully, because of how everyone was raving about it, my fiance does not want to see it that badly. ;)
    on the other hand, i am SO glad someone else feels the exact same way about anne h. that i do!! lol. :P

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