5.24.2013

listen, I have issues

Apparently today I'm supposed to talk about my flaws. I have a lot of them. Would I list these in a job interview? Heck no. But since we are all best friends here, I'm going to let it all hang out. Get ready.




1. You guys, I overreact.  If you could see them, everyone who knows me in real life is vigorously shaking their heads in agreement. My M.O. is to freak the ever living heck out over basically everything. I will cry over spilled milk. I will shout from the rooftops that the world is ending because I can't find my other black sandal. I will occasionally throw a minor temper tantrum when Chipotle forgets the guac on my burrito (though if you ask me, that is JUSTIFIED anger)(and it happened last night). The good news is it only lasts about 5 or 10 minutes before rational Michelle takes over again.


2. I'm sure by now you've heard the word "hanger" referencing hunger/anger. What you probably don't know is that this word was invented for me. I have this thing called hypoglycemia and if I don't eat every few hours I WILL DESTROY YOU AND EVERYTHING AROUND US. It's a legitimate issue for me. Whenever rational Michelle starts to lose her footing, murmurs of "feed the beast! she needs to eat! how long has it been?" start to fly everywhere.

me 24/7
If I don't eat, I turn into a hunger-fueled monster ravaging the nearby pantries and refrigerators while crying and screaming.  Ok not really. But there have been times.


3. An excessive use of "your mom" jokes. Some people think this is a weakness. Some people say "Michelle, you are 24. Get a grip." And to them I say "YOUR MOM NEEDS TO GET A GRIP. BURN!" and then I sit in the corner by myself and giggle for an hour.



But no one-AND I MEAN NO ONE- outshines my mother at your mom jokes. She will do things like purposely knock on the bathroom door just so I say "who is it?" and she'll say "YOUR MOM!" and then we'll laugh and laugh because SHE IS MY MOM AND IT'S JUST SO FUNNY.




STILL WANNA BE FRIENDS!?!?!?

23 comments:

  1. i feel the need to meet your mom now. im still laughing at the visual of her knocking on the door just for the joy of saying 'your mom' hahahaha

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  2. Of course I still want to be friends with you! Oh, and, I have the tendency to overreact as well. I was very dramatic while talking to Shay the other night on the phone. It was almost embarrassing.

    YOUR MOM.

    Too good.

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  3. SO i just joined your site and it was because this was funny. But to be honest. I joined because this is the first time this morning that I dont have all of your bad traits in addition to mine. Thanks for that ...I was getting worried.

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  4. I love this so hard.

    I also overreact so much. I melted DOWN a few days ago when I accidentally deleted a text message thread in my phone I had saved in there for almost two years. I have no idea why I was so emotional about it but I couldn't pull it together. It makes me laugh to write it or say it out loud because it was SO ridiculous, but whatever.

    I get hangry every day around 9am. I ate breakfast FOREVER AGO (an hour before that) and lunch is SO.FAR.AWAY. that I will snap and bite your head off at any given second. It's a problem.

    Literally lmao'ing thinking about you "your mom'ing" WITH YOUR MOM.

    YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE SHELL D BELL

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  5. Seriously. Mama C and "your mom" jokes are probably the best thing that exists ever! Also all of this is true, true, true and I can't stop giggling at my cube and my coworker thinks I'm laughing at something she said. I wouldn't call these flaws as much as hysterical things you do that make you unique and lend a hand to great stories.

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  6. Now I want to be your friend EVEN MORE. ;) These are some pretty good flaws, honestly. Except overreacting, but hey, shit happens.

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  7. oh man, I overreact from everything.

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  8. Dude...I say "your mom goes to college" ALL THE TIME to Isaiah. It's a sickness. Sometimes I say it when it's completely unrelated to the topic at hand. "Do you want Mexican or seafood for dinner?" "YOUR MOM GOES TO COLLEGE." I don't even know what's wrong with me.

    #1....I wish I could say I can't relate. But I totally can. Everything is always a crisis. Always.

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  9. I adore your mom for that simple fact. :)

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  10. You're absolutely right about that hunger/anger thing. And I like the word hanger, I'm going to remember that. Also, your mom is awesome. And I LOVE when you get to say "your mom" and actually mean it. Liiiike, "who's driving us to the movies?" - "your mom". Love it.

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  11. I Your Mom my students all the time. I always get a round of 'ooohs" so I keep doing it:)

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  12. I don't think I ever heard a "your Mom" joke until Angel and I were married. And he has to say 'your mom' about every half hour, so it's safe to say it's started to become a part of our vocab, too. And I think the true ones are the best kind (as in your knocking on the door example).

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  13. hahahaha Your mom saying your mama jokes. PERFECT.

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  14. hahaha i love that your mom is in on the your mom jokes. too good.

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  15. YES. Haha this type of post is *why* I want to be friends!

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  16. Totally want to be friends, but let's just not be hungry together ok. I think we'd hurt people.

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  17. We must be related. My dad speaks in nothing but "your mom" jokes somedays, which is slightly awkward since my parents are divorced. But his favorite is telling Millie your mom jokes, because then he'll look at me and laugh. And Sky totally used the "your mom goes to college" thing with Millie MANY times this past year.

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  18. Yes yes and yes. I overreact and it drives my husband CRAZY. I have hypoglycemia and pretty much the world ends every 2-3 hours unless I get a snack. And yeah, I do the "your mom" jokes. They make me giggle.

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  19. I flip out over Chipotle mess-ups all of the time, like when they serve me raw fajita veggies, or undercooked rice. It's just not alright. Also, if you tell the service manager that they let you down, they will give you coupons for free burritos.

    Your Mom jokes are equally as funny as "That's what she said" jokes.

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  20. as I read #3 I said, "your mom needs to get a grip" and then.. I read your next sentence. SOUL FRIENDS.

    Oh, I overreact too. Seriously. I am currently in a crisis over something that hasn't even happened (yet? or may happen? not sure). either way, freeeaaaking out. Then I am fine. Then 10 minutes later I am over analyzing again. AH!

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  21. Love the Office image you used to go with this FLAWLESS post, haha. :) Entertaining, quirky, and hilarious as usual. :)

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