5.03.2013

things that make me uncomfortable (aka everything)



1. People.



2. Phone calls. All phone calls. Every time. I'm shaking just thinking about it.

3. The word "puberty." I cringe and sweat in awkward places when I hear someone say it.

4. Breastfeeding pictures on Instagram, which are apparently a thing now. I'm a huge supporter of breastfeeding, and I don't think women should be ashamed to do it in public, but cover those suckers UP. And don't take pictures of it!

5. When people don't understand my jokes, which is 93% of the time.

6. Small talk. It makes me sweat. Get to the point or just walk away.

7. Watching people humiliate themselves. Nothing makes me want to die more than a bad case of secondhand embarrassment.

8. Confrontation of any sort. Even telling someone they have spinach in their teeth makes my knees wobble.

9. Incorrect grammar. You could stick a needle in my eye, and it will still not hurt as bad as seeing someone misuse a semicolon or use the wrong form of there/their/they're.



10. Pictures of myself doing stupid things.

2006. my gosh.


11. Bras.

12. The side eye I got from the girl at the gym yesterday. She could clearly hear Backstreet Boys blaring in my earbuds. Girl, you should be jealous, not judgy.

13. The world "ladies." I have no real reason for this, it just irks me every time I hear it.

14. My husband and his man noises. Need I explain further?

15. My dream last night. I literally dreamed I met Ryan Gosling in a grocery store and he hugged me. Then he said I was annoying. That makes me uncomfortable.

16. I told James that  Ryan Gosling told me I'm annoying in my dream. His response? "Ryan Gosling....like Kate Gosling? With all the kids?" NO. JUST NO. That whole conversation made me uncomfortable.


I skipped day two, but meowpocolypse was definitely more important than me teaching you how to take creepy pictures of people without them noticing (I have a gift, I really do). But if you're devastated, I'd like to refer you to people who taught some of my most favorite skills: haikus from Whitney, how to avoid people by Alissa, and how to be an introvert by Kelsey.


Happy Friday, world! I'll be back tomorrow, and I'm weirdly excited about weekend blogging.


29 comments:

  1. I can relate to a lot of this list, I had small talk and confrontation on mine.

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  2. 7. Watching people humiliate themselves. Nothing makes me want to die more than a bad case of secondhand embarrassment.

    Oh my gosh! This sums up nearly every near argument my husband and I have ever had with each other. Because he thinks this is funny and I think it's sad!

    Love you girl :)

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  3. Weekend blogging is going to be weird.
    Really weird.
    And I think a lot of the things that you find uncomfortable can be treated by coming to stay with me!!!
    Not sure how, but I am sure it will..

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  4. #16...I'M DYING. That's hilarious.
    And I wish phones were created only for texting, not talking. I HATE talking on the phone, too!

    Happy Friday!

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  5. How could I forget about phone calls on my list? Even though I answer the phone all day long, personal phone calls make my skin crawl. Even dialing out at work to call someone makes me nervous. I try to do most of my communicating by email. Making phone calls to plan my wedding has been awful. I've had to learn to actually answer my phone and that is miserable.

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  6. Ew you've seen breastfeeding on instagram?! Luckily I've yet to come across that!

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  7. All of this. Every last gosh darn one. As I sit here in bra purgatory, I am nodding along with every last one.

    Also MAJOR LOL at the Ryan Gosling/Kate Gosselin confusion, James. So hilarious.

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  8. I don't like the word puberty either... gross.

    And I've posted breastfeeding photos before haha. But they're so artistically done! ;)

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  9. We have a few almost identical things here.

    our brains, man. It's like we were seperated at birth twins or something.

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  10. 4. - REALLY?!?! That's a thing?!?!? Have some class, mommas! 5 & 11 - Story of my life!!!

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  11. HOW DARE RYAN GOSLING SAY THAT ABOUT YOU. I'll cut em.

    Bras are so uncomfortable. Except for sports bras, which give everyone a uni-boob, but it's okay.

    Small talk ...I forgot to put small talk on my list!

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  12. "Secondhand Embarrassment" - I even get this when I am watching someone on TV. My face turns red for them and I get all flustered. It's so bizarre.

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  13. Hahaha, this was awesome! :) Had me smiling/chuckling the whole way. I agree with many of these points (though maybe not the ones about your husband, since you know, I don't know him... okay, now this comment is making ME uncomfortable... and surely you too... and mission accomplished for Day 3.)

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  14. I excel at taking photos of people without them knowing. I do it on the train all the time.

    Bras are torture devices, and witnessing someone's humiliation makes me die inside.

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  15. I want to protest the amount of awkward photos existing on your blog that involve me. Super uncomfortable. Still love you. Hope this confrotation didn't make you uncomfortable, too. ;)

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  16. I am pissed about weekend blogging. Irrationally. I need to get over it.

    The first time I see a breastfeeding picture on IG I am quitting. I will.

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  17. I agree with you on a lot of these points!

    I have never seen a breastfeeding pic on IG and I hope I never do! That's just crazy! Who wants to put that out there for everyone to see?

    -Juliann

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  18. Hahahahaaa you DO have a gift! I would totally read the hecks out of a tutorial on that!

    7: I can't stand it in movies. I fold at the waist right in the theatre, like one of the very folding seats I'm sitting on, to hide myself from the awkwardness. The people I'm with tend to think that's more embarassing, but they're wrong. Because Jennifer Aniston is fucking up at 10 times lifesize. GIANT EMBARASSMENT IS ALWAYS WORSE.

    13: It's patronizing. Not just when dudes (And they are always *dudes* when they say that, whether they're men or boys or grandpas. Using the word drags you down the Bro scale automatically, regardless of baseline.) say it at you, but also chicks; "Ohmigawwwwd, me and the *ladies* were..." just never ends well.

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  19. 4. I still have yet to see a breastfeeding picture, but I know it'll happen someday. I don't know how these women just bare their breasts like that.

    12. I frequently jam out to NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, and all those good '90s pop songs. HOW CAN YOU NOT? They're so catchy and awesome!

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  20. This list reminded me of a couple of other things that make me uncomfortable. thanks. :)

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  21. I'm made uncomfortable by lots and lots of things, too. Especially phone calls. I make Angel make all phone calls for me. Almost nobody has my phone number.

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  22. Puberty is a weird one, and there should never be any reason for it to come up in general conversation. I was talking to a workmate the other day and when I asked how old her granddaughter was she said that she'd just entered puberty. What the hell? How is that the appropriate answer to that question?

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  23. My husband HATES it when he sees people doing uncomfortable things. It is just the worst thing ever for him

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  24. #4 - OHMYGOD YES. Thank you! I'm all for breastfeeding but seriously, I do NOT want to see your breasts! lol

    Secondhand embarrassment, I can't even handle it. Just the thought of watching someone embarrass themselves makes me cringe.

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  25. Ha, I loved this!! #1 People...I have no words to explain my utter distaste for most of them, example: I went to the mall, I was walking around minding my own business and WHAM! there's gum stuck to my shoes...people. #4 if I have to see another breast feeding picture I'm going hurl... And finally and most importantly #14 I yell at my hubby every time he makes disgusting noises (which is all.the.time.) and please don't get me started on the snoring. I'm a follower now, this post has me hooked!

    Nissa
    www.nissazaididesigns.blogspot.com

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  26. #2 and #6: HATE IT WITH A PASSION.
    When combined?? EVEN WORSE.

    #14: SO gross! I have a special evil eye for this that I give my husband every time. It's like, really??? Wait until I'm out of the room.

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  27. Yep yep yep. The breastfeeding thing especially- can't handle it.

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