24 reasons I am an abnormal 24 year old woman

A lot of times I look at the world around me and think hmm, I don't really fit in here. Especially with women my age. We seem to be on different sides of the universe on most everything. So please allow me to show you why I am society's biggest oddball.

1. Unless in the form of nail polish, pink is not my friend.

(full disclosure: I bought a shirt a few weeks ago with pink stripes. Baby steps.)

2. I would rather gouge my eyes out than watch the Bachelorette/Bachelor.

3. Diamonds are not my best friend; books are.

from the bottomless abyss known as tumblr

4. I do not believe in heels. I believe in being barefoot.

5. 50 Shades of Grey? 50 shades of never. Hand me cheesy Amish novels any day.

6. Sappy love songs? No. I'd rather drop it like it's hot.

mid epic dance move

7. Never in my life have I seen an episode of Sex & the City (I originally typed Sex in the city. See?), but I have seen every episode of I Love Lucy.

8. I don't play the radio, I play the piano.

10. I have no idea how to be friends with other women.

11. I don't understand makeup and I don't care to.

12. J Crew? More like J P.U.

13. Neon? More like pee-on.

14.  I do not speak slang-speak (i.e. totes, cray, adorbs, hubby) (wash your mouth out if you speak this way!); I speak french.

15. I have an impressive collection of classical and 80s music.

16. Last year, my mom had to explain to me what a hashtag is.

17. I believe animal prints should stay on animals, however, my cardboard deer head is my favorite thing I own.

same deer head, different house

18. Just the idea of a social gathering sends me into a frenzied panic.

19. Occasionally, I will get strange joy from doing the laundry and cleaning.

20. We all know I'm kind of over Target (well, except for those days when I'm not). My self control issues are much more prevalent in Whole Foods and Trader Joe's.

21. If you ever hear me say "happy hour," I'm referring to bedtime.

22. The best form of torture would be to make me watch an awards show. Of any kind.

23. Sometimes I go out in public with no makeup on. I know, the horror, right?

24. I am morally opposed to big bows/headbands on babies.

Basically I could go on for days.

Umm...while proofreading this I realized I skipped #9. I would fix it but it's time to leave for work. Cookies for you if you caught it.

How are you guys? Good weekend? Lay it on me.


  1. I don't usually wear makeup! You seem really cool. When I tell people I live without tv and Internet they stare at me like I've suddenly grown horns or came from the dark ages... I am so glad you are ok with being yourself :) your confidence is really attractive!

  2. I can relate to so many of these things. So, so many. I love that you call Neon pee-on. It is so true. Why do we subject ourselves to that particular horror??? Neon belongs in highlighters and nowhere else.

    Also, I only wear makeup a few times a year. Not because I don't know how, but because I can't be bothered. Who has the time for all that? Sleeping is far more important.

  3. Okay, I had to laugh at your Mom explaining a hashtag to you....just because I don't think my Mom knows that Twitter or Instagram exist. But I never even use hashtags so I have no reason to laugh at you.
    My personal favorite tv is Gilligan's Island and The Dick Van Dyke Show. I don't think I've ever actually seen I Love Lucy, but it is from my preferred era.
    I don't really feel like I fit in anywhere either...not when surrounded by my drinking, smoking teenage classmates, not when surrounded by married people in their mid to late 20s...
    But hey, not fitting in is WAY more fun anyways, isn't it?

  4. Very well written. Iam not even sure what SWAG means!
    I use loads of dlang words though(hubs..instead of hubby)

  5. I also have seen every episode of I Love Lucy, and own most on dvd!

  6. i wish i could go out of the house without makeup! i fear i would terrify small children. and sometimes (VERY rarely though, i swear) i will find myself slipping and saying 'hubby'..i cringe every time. husband just seems so long and formal. i will just start saying 'that guy'... sure.

  7. All this post does it make me think that if we lived closer together we would DEFINETELY be friends. Because at the end of the day who wants to be friends with an artificial pink wearing bitch?!
    Not me.

  8. I'm with you on pretty much all of these things. I think you're just hanging out with the wrong people your age.

  9. no cookies for me. but I did get a laugh, so that'll do for now.

  10. Michelle, you complete me. You are the puzzle piece my heart has been missing for 24 years.

    I'm not going to go through all of these and be like 'OMG ME TOO' because that would take me all day. Let me just say- OMG ME TOO #'s 1-24 (even fake #9).


    Ps. I am declaring the song 'Mirrors' our official friendship song.

    1. I hope I'm included in that PS or I quit these friendships.

      (I am so emotional today and I can't even blame the kraken.)

    2. LE DUH

      Don't listen to Mirrors. I was flooded with emotions earlier, mostly brought on by JT's sweet falsetto.

  11. i love you! Seriously, love this. I cannot help but say "me too!" each time!! :)

  12. Your cardboard deer head is my favorite thing that you own too.

    I went out to the grocery store sans makeup yesterday and it was quite liberating, I do say.

    I love cleaning and I am not happy until my kitchen smells of clorox wipes and bbw candles.

  13. It took me a LONG time to wear pink. Now I own like... two pink shirts. Maybe. I don't wear them much!

  14. J Crew and neon HAVE BEEN HAZED!!

    1. I apologize for leaving another comment, but my iPad was being a B and wouldn't let me finish typing!

      Anyway, "Nope" is killing me...that runs through my head 308308343 times a day. And anyone who says they like wearing heels is a LIAR.

  15. YES! A girl like me!!!!! I am ALL of those- well, except 4: I wear heels to work because I (the teacher) am shorter than ALL my high school students. :)

  16. We've all got our stuff - the line in the girly-girl sand, as it were. I do wear pink...well, peach at least...but I don't wear makeup or paint my nails. Bare all the way!

    And animal prints on anything make me sad. For several reasons.

  17. I have zero self control in TJ. Like none. I have to take cash in there or I would be poor. And have tons of organic snacks.

  18. For one.. you are my twin. We must have been separated at birth or something. Everything you just said, caused my mouth to fall (and stay open) because... THAT IS ME TOO!!! Especially numbers 2, 4, 6, 7 (although I haven't seen every episode of Lucy... I have NEVER watched an episode of sex AND the city.... and I am guilty of the "in the" city party as well! LOL) 10, 14 (and every time I see YOLO I want to knock a baby out.. is that bad?), 15 (you should see how many 80's songs I have on my iPod... try 300+???) 18, 23 AND 24....

    p.s. I never noticed you skipped/missed 9 until you mentioned it.

    p.s.s. are you suuuuuuuuuuuuure we aren't related???

  19. I hear ya on the pink. Other than my nails, I really don't wear it. Pink and fair skin don't get along very well.

    I guess my weekly Bachelorette link up drives you nuts ;D

    I hate when people say, "totes/cray cray/obvi/...any of that crap. It's so annoying!

  20. So many of these hold true for me too. Actually, pretty much all of them. (Except I'm coming around to pink. Because I have two daughters. And one of them is the most girly tomboy you could ever meet. I didn't even know that could work)

    But the one that was the most hilarious?

    I didn't believe you that it was Sec & The City. I thought it was Sex IN the city. I even googled it. Then I told me husband and he said, "You thought it was Sex in the city? What? Like the women just go around having sex IN the city? Oh...wait...that makes more sense actually..."

    So there you go.

  21. I'm a bit older than you but I can totally relate. I seriously was able to agree with nearly every single thing! :) You are not alone!


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