Do you ever have those days where you wake up and just feel...off? Because that was me yesterday. I woke up feeling out of sorts the minute the alarm went off. My very first thought was "there has been a huge mistake." I felt like I had been hit by a truck. And then hit by several more. And then one of them backed up and hit me again. Sleep deprivation, for sure. And also some sort of malfunction in my brain, I'm thinking.
Thirty minutes later I was having a meltdown in my closet over my lack of clothes to wear to work. Apparently not much has changed since I was 15 and couldn't choose between a sea of Hollister and American Eagle shirts, except now I have a sea of v neck tees and the occasional cardigan. We had a rare day where we had to dress up for work and weren't allowed to wear jeans, and my wardrobe is severely lacking in the fancy clothes area, so I threw on a shirt I knew I would inevitably change before I left for work. And I did change - into a white shirt. The problem is, I completely forgot that I was wearing a turquoise bra. At least I forgot until I was standing in the bathroom at work several hours later and having panic attack when I realized you could see my blue bra under my white shirt like a beacon in the night sky. I looked like a straight up hooker.
The morning continued to go in a similar fashion, and I spent most of it huddled in my swivel chair, trying to hide my wardrobe malfunction. My brain was clearly functioning at half capacity as I made stupid mistake after stupid mistake, one of them being when I said "Hey, Target!" to my coworker. The problem is, his name isn't Target. It's Travis. Why I called him Target, I have no idea. It was not a good morning.
I thought my day had finally been redeemed when I got my favorite email of all emails. THE CAKE DAY email. CAKE DAY is a big deal around these parts; every third Wednesday we all get a piece of cake to celebrate the birthdays that month. I live and die for cake day. We all do. I power-walked downstairs to grab my piece of cake, momentarily forgetting about my blue spotlight of a bra in my moment of cake glory. I walked into the break room where WHO DID I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE but Fob/Bob. THAT'S RIGHT. BOB. The real one, this time! Remember when I said the first and only time I had ever seen him was the day I humiliated myself in his office? Well, I haven't seen him since. Let me help you with the math. The first time I saw him, I basically told him he was an impersonator of himself. The second time I saw him, I was dressed like a lady of the night. He nodded at me in recognition, because who can forget the bumbling fool? I gave him a polite smile and put my head down in shame, grabbed my cake, and got out of the room faster than you can say MORTIFYING. Thankfully he was having a conversation with someone, so I didn't have to be any more polite than I was.
You would think it would end there, wouldn't you? Well you would be wrong. I saw Bob again yesterday afternoon as I stumbled out of the bathroom. I can't wait to see what happens the fourth time I see him.....!
Thankfully my day got better and the amount of caffeine I drank seemed to have counteracted my malfunctioning brain, and I went back to normal. Life was good and I was in a good mood.
And then I updated my iPhone to iOS 7, and all my apps disappeared.
I was horrified.
I was hurt.
I was in shock.
I was in mourning.
I was angsty.
I threw a sock.
But then the funniest thing happened. I swiped my home screen to the get the to next page of apps, where only one was remaining. And then I accidentally swiped it again, where I found several more pages with all my apps. They had been there all along! The sock had been thrown in vain.
Some days are just a little harder than they need to be.