12.23.2013

christmas fails

This weekend was a major Christmas fail.

For one, it was in the mid-60s and rainy. It was basically April. We had the windows open, and I was THISCLOSE to lighting my lemon candle. I even caught myself daydreaming about Easter candy. Unseasonal weather messes with my head more than anything else. But moving on.

I wrapped all the Christmas presents. Look, I love the idea of wrapping pretty presents, but the execution of that idea is a disaster every time. Last year I made my own wrapping paper and got creative, but I just didn't have that spunk this year. This year I just used plain wrapping paper and bows, and I was fine with that. But the problem is that I'm terrible at wrapping. I mean terrible. It is a curse. My husband is so much better than I am, and that is ridiculous.

Speaking of wrapping, James and I got into a gift tag battle this year. Since he knows I am a hater of all things lovey dovey/cutesy wootsey, he took full advantage. And he also got in touch with his southern roots.

L to R: "To Honey Boo-Boo from Jamesy Poo-Poo," "To my lovely butter cup pookie bear (this made me spit out my coffee, both in disgust and laughter)," " (to be read with a twang) To Muhshale from Jimbob" <----that last one makes me feel like Michelle Duggar

I took the ghetto route most travelled and addressed some to J-dawg from M-dawg and to J-Bell from M-Bell. The good news is that we will never have a shortage of rapper names to choose from. Rapping while wrapping. Ha...ha...ha.

My wrapping would've taken half the time it did had I not lost everything whenever I needed it. This happens every year. Time to cut the wrapping paper, but where are the scissors? Time to tape this very precarious corner, but even though I sat the tape down RIGHT THERE it is GONE. And don't even mention writing the gift tags, because it is a 10 minute hunt for the pen each time. Gift wrapping is enough to put me in an insane asylum.

We also watched a Christmas movie on Sunday afternoon. I was gearing up to wrap presents and wanted something to watch while I did it, so James put on a random Christmas movie from Netflix. It looked like one of those horrendously cheesy/heartwarming Hallmark movies that make you cringe but you also secretly want to watch over and over, but it twas not. It turned out to be a movie about kids with cancer at St. Jude's. At first we thought oh it's cool, the kids will get better and it will snow and everyone will be happy. But no. Every single kid died. They all died. THAT WAS THE MOVIE. It was also based on a true story, so at the end they showed pictures of the actual families and kids that had died. Instead of wrapping presents I spent two hours balled up on the couch crying my eyes out. HOW do you recover from that?! You don't. That's how.

Our church had a Sunday evening service this week instead of Sunday morning. We were going to go until I looked at the clock and realized it had started an hour ago. So I made Christmas cookies. I tried out some new recipes, and one was amazing and the other tasted like dirt, even though I followed the recipe exactly, AND it had rave reviews. I improvised and they are at least edible now. Worst case, I am making my trusty sugar cookies tonight, so all should be well. Fingers crossed.



15 comments:

  1. "To Mushale from JimBob" just made me CACKLE OUT LOUD

    I am THE WORST at wrapping presents. The folded corners of mine are never sharp and they always look like garbage. I usually just put a BUNCH of tape on it to cover all my mistakes. I basically wrap my presents in tape. My sister is nearly professional. She uses about three pieces of tape per present and when she sees me using an entire roll to wrap my slew of gifts- I can feel her judging eyes burning holes into my body. WHATEVER.

    REMIND ME TO NEVER WATCH THAT HALLMARK MOVIE BECAUSE I WANT TO CRY JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.

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  2. I love to wrap presents, and I'm bummed because I only have a few to wrap this year. And actually, most of them I'm just going to put in bags. When I worked at a card store in high school, a husband paid me $10 to wrap his wife's presents on Christmas Eve. I'll never forget it...

    Have fun making sugar cookies tonight! Send me some, would ya, Mushaleeee?

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  3. Wrapping presents is one of my least favorite things to do. Despite the handy guides, my cutting always looks wacky, and my corners are never ever even. It's a total mess.

    I stick with classic cookies. I worry about the ones that show up on Pinterest sometimes... they just don't always sound right.

    My favorite gift tag is the Pookie bear one. I laughed out loud about that one.

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  4. i hate to wrap presents. and i'm horrible at it too.

    santa doesn't wrap presents over here. and if he did, i would totally give myself away because i'm sure my older son would say, 'hey mommy! santa wraps just as bad as you do!'

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  5. I suck at wrapping, too! My Chaddy Paddy is very good, just like your Jamesy Poo Poo…ha ha ha!
    And that movie! What the heck? How sad!
    We watched Love Actually for the first time last night, because it seems like there is tons of hype about it in the blog-world. I'm sorry, but I was SUPER DUPER unimpressed! In fact, I thought it sucked. There was nothing Christmasy about it. Unless your idea of Christmas is naked people and cheating on your spouse. ??? Forgive my baby-rant if you like the movie.
    Wait. Speaking of Netflix! WHY don't they have A Christmas Story or any of the Home Alone's? I wouldn't have even thought about watching "Love, Actually (NOT)", if I would have had REAL options.

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    Replies
    1. I thought I was the only one who HATES Love Actually for those same reasons!!!

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    2. I'm another anti-Love, Actually person. That was an awful movie, I don't know what people see in it.

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  6. ^^That's me, btw^^ I was signed in with a different account :)

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  7. brad knows i hate stupid lovey dovey names too. so his favorite to call me is 'pumkpin tits' really?! that's what you're going with !?

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  8. ^^ hahahah, pumpkin tits. that is too much.

    I have taken to making sure that my pen has a clip on it and then clipping it to my shirt. Or sticking it in my cleave. But last night, at least 8 times I lost the scissors. And I had an epic battle with a giant box and Justin sat and watched and laughed. NO HELP.

    I love the gift tag war SO MUCH. Your new rapper couple name is Jameshell. JAMESHELL Y'ALL.

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  9. I totally feel you on the present-wrapping. I love it at first but then the last-minute stuff starts rolling in and I turn into a total wrapping-paper-hating-Grinch. Gift bags 4 life. Also, that tape/scissors thing happens to me every single time, too. Add to the mix a cat who loves ribbons and would eat them all if he could, and yeah. Loads of fun.

    Isaiah and I hardly ever use our real names on gift tags. This year is a Hobbit year so I've used things like "To Sam, From Rosie" and "To Kili...no, Legolas...no, Kili...no, LEGOLAS...From Tauriel" (Sorry if that doesn't make sense. Watch the Desolation of Smaug, you'll understand.)

    More power to you with the cookie baking. I'll be over here making one-bowl coffee cake and loving every second I'm not spending making cookies. ;)

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  10. I was lose stuff too... I wrapped the last of the presents today and it's like a curse. The entire time "Shit! where did the scissors go, I *just* sat them down?! Where are they?!" The answer - 2 feet away under the chair. How?! I just don't know lol

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  11. Angel keeps trying to talk me into a totally different movie (at least it's not about kids) which he claims is the first movie he ever saw where truly everyone in the movie died by the end. Why would I want to see that?
    We've had a few Christmas fails--most of my family has been without power for three days and don't expect to get power soon so Christmas dinner may not really happen for them. And Angel and I got in a little car accident on the icy roads this weekend which left my car undriveable (until it gets fixed...hopefully). These are the stories that make for an interesting life! Merry Christmas!!

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  12. I am the WORST wrapper as well. But this year, I was determined to wrap all of my gifts and make them look good. While they all looked decent, it just took WAY too much time. I don't got time for that! Back to using bags next year for sure.
    What a horrible movie to show at Christmastime! That's so incredibly sad.

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