things that are awkward

Yesterday was a weird day for me. It was full of exceptionally awkward moments. For example:

1. I was eating lunch in the break room when suddenly I noticed I had a massive nose bleed. I don't even know the last time that happened. Within seconds my hands and face were smeared in blood like I had just committed a vicious murder, and I was zigging and zagging through the tables in search of napkins. It was an embarrassing moment to begin with, but it was made much worse since I had an audience of other people eating their lunch. I hid in the bathroom for 10 minutes after that.

2. About an hour after that fiasco, I was sitting at my desk listening to a podcast when the host said something that really wasn't that funny, but it struck me funny, and I got the giggles. I mean, I got the giggles. I was laughing hysterically with tears streaming down my face. You know when you get to that point where every little thing makes you laugh even harder and there's no end in sight? That's where I was. The new guy next to me looked at me with a horrified expression, because everything was silent except for me laughing like a hyena and trying to catch my breath. He's been questioning my mental state ever since.

3. And then about an hour after that, I was sitting at my desk and minding my own business, when suddenly I yelped in horror. Once again, the new guy rushed over asking if I was ok. Turns out, I was fine. I thought there was a spider crawling on my chest, but it was just my own hair.

He looked at me and said, "Michelle, I think it's time for you to go home." I looked back and said, "You know what? I think you're right."

And in celebration of such a strange day, I think it's time to show you these gems. I was going through iPhoto the other day and found a bunch of old cell phone pictures from 3-4 years ago I had forgotten about. Old photos of times gone by when I was living in North Carolina and mostly hating it. Times before blogging and comments and twitter and instagram. Not all of these are necessarily awkward, but they're from what feels like lifetime ago.

And now, without further adieu! I hereby present to you really bad pictures from the depths of my non-smart phone of my life before blogging.

1. For some reason I remember when this was taken. We were at Ruby Tuesdays after spending the day at the beach, summer of 2009? 2010? I don't know. My favorite part is that I look like an angsty teenage boy with long hair.

2. Since I was stuck in North Carolina for Easter for several years and not with my family in Ohio, James and I started a tradition of having an Easter picnic, since Easter in the south usually means 80 degrees and sun. That was year one. The tradition only lasted 2 years because we finally moved.

1. That is the super blurry picture I sent to all my friends the night I got engaged. Hashtag bling.

2. This was the next day, in the spot where we got engaged. Wrightsville Beach, NC. Years earlier, a guy friend and I had a photo shoot on that exact beach wearing blue snuggies. It's also where One Tree Hill was filmed. Suffice it to say, I like that beach a lot.

1. This is my favorite spot in the Outerbanks. It's a little coffee shop in Kitty Hawk. I discovered it one day in the winter when I was out there for a writing class assignment. It was snowing that day. Snowing in the Outerbanks. I'll never forget it.

2. I thought my parents would appreciate one last first day of school picture, so I sent them this my first day of my senior year of college.

1. This was the run-through of my wedding hair, done by none other than Kate of The Small Things Blog. That's right. I've bragged about it before and I'll do it again. She did my wedding hair. She did my hair all through college before she got famous. Her husband and I even took Chemistry together.

2. 2 months post college graduation and wedding I was working at the most hellish job of my life. And I took this while sitting on the toilet during a break. What can I say? I was having a good hair day! The only reason I was smiling is because we were still in training so I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.

And last but not least. Half of the population of North Carolina is made up of douchy frat boys and sorority girls decked out in pink and green polka dots (gag), and the other half of the population can be perfectly summed up with this car:

How many awesome things can you spot?! There are too many to count.

Next up! Pictures I forgot I was tagged in on Facebook.


  1. "What's that spider made out of?" "MICHELLE'S CHEST HAIR!"

    Now I'm going to be giggling in my office all day thinking about that. Trying to cover a laugh at work is the hardest thing I've ever had to do post-grad life. No one taught us how to do that in college!

    "Half of the population of North Carolina is made up of douchy frat boys..." <--that explains why a guy I used to like wants to move back to NC. He lived there for a while, and now I can't believe he ever left his people.

    Kitty Hawk! Outerbanks! I know those places. Sigh. The beach...

  2. In church this Sunday, the hair tie belonging to the girl in front of me broke. It had a bit of spring action to it and landed in my lap. I yelped in terror because I thought a jumping spider landed in my lap. My pastor asked me if everything was okay from the pulpit. I decided to go help in the nursery for the rest of the service. Lesson: things that appear to be spiders can be scarier that actual spiders.

  3. i have a bad habit of daydreaming during the most inappropriate times. i will think of something funny that happened at a previous time, and get a horrible case of the giggles. and if i try to stop myself from laughing it just gets much, much worse.

    one time in church one of the songs said something like, "jesus save me from hell." i don't know why that struck me as funny, but i had to stifle the laughter, which in return made my husband snort. and then i couldn't control myself anymore.

    i'm so mature.

  4. I think we would be really good real-life friends! I totally accept all the above awkwardness and think it's all just wonderful! :)

    An Easter picnic may have to commence in my own life since my boyfriend and I aren't near our families anymore. I also have been meaning to archive some photos of my own on Facebook; you know, just in case the reason I'm not getting a job right now is because of those high school photos of when I was in a gang. And by that I mean, the pose of choice was ALWAYS a sideways peace sign. WHY????

  5. If I had a dollar for every time I inappropriately laughed while listening to/watching something at work, well, I wouldn't have to work anymore.

    THE PICTURES. STOP IT. The "last first day of school" one might be my favorite. Actually, no, the toilet selfie is. Always the toilet selfie.

  6. but it was just my own hair. --- classic. you make me so proud. slash i am uncomfortable for you, because i am so awkward all the time. i feel your pain

  7. I basically just think you are the best!

  8. Oh my dear lord that car!!! I will never move to NC now, just because of how you described it. Unless if i live right on the beach where you got engaged. That would be the only exception! Btw, your wedding ring is gorgeous!

  9. its so cute to see little pieces of your life! Also, I've never heard of Kate or the Small things blog, but your hair is beautiful! :P

  10. Ohhhh hair spiders are THE WORST. The nose bleeds. Did you get a humidifier yet?!?

    Darling baby Michelle pictures!

  11. The hair spider story gave ME the giggles!

  12. Hair spiders are the worst! I woke myself up the other night thinking I had one on my arm lol

  13. I want a myspace link on my bumper!!


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