1.29.2014

stream of consciousness, vol. 3


I need to write something, but I have no single topic to write about, so I'm going to throw it all out here in the open. While you read my gibberish thoughts, please enjoy the above song that has been stuck in my head all week. It's good, I promise.

You should first know that I'm fresh off watching the new episode of Sherlock and it's all I can think about. Such a brilliant episode. I laughed, I cried, I screamed, and then I took some ibuprofen because I have some wicked cramps.

Speaking of cramps, it's lady time over here. I know, TMI and stuff, but look. It's Tuesday night and I have a lot of words to say and a lot of hormones and this is how it has to be right now. Anyway. One PMS symptom I get every single time is cravings that would put a pregnant woman to shame. I am not kidding. I have actual food fantasies about things covered in cheese and grease and/or chocolate, and sometimes even about meat. And I don't even eat meat. Whatever part of my brain controls those desires goes absolutely haywire at the first sign of PMS hormones. Yesterday, all I could think about was bathing in a sea of chocolate while eating mac & cheese and onion rings. I mean, I was really thinking about it. So much so that I may have casually mentioned it once or twice or thrice to the guy who sits next to me. It was overwhelming, and the hershey kisses in my snack drawer weren't enough to quell the sea of greasy desire.

At 9:00 this morning I found myself elbow deep in a bag of white cheddar popcorn chips and once again discussing topics such as bathtubs full of chocolate with the potential of a plate of mac & cheese with a side of onion rings, and then maybe some cake? I don't know; I wouldn't want to get carried away. It was during this fantasy-fueled reverie that I looked at him and said "You know, I feel I should clarify that I'm not pregnant." He has two small children at home with a wife who helps deliver babies, so I know he knows the signs. I reassured him that I, uh, happened to positive of the fact that I'm not pregnant, which ironically is the reason for my pregnant-like behavior. He gave me the I'm going to smile and nod but I don't quite believe you look and and then quite seriously said "Funny you should mention that, because I was actually thinking of leaving a Clear Blue test on your desk tomorrow." I should probably tone down my love affair with food. You know, keep the PDA to a minimum. Maybe quit with the love letters and googly eyes altogether.

In other news, I tried jelly donut flavored coffee today. Here's a tip incase you're thinking of doing the same thing: don't. The coffee at work is only a half step above mud, so a lot of us have these ceramic filter things and make pour over coffee at our desk. Do you have any idea what I'm talking about? Is that a thing anywhere else? I know it's not a new thing, but it just became super trendy here. On a scale of one to Tim Gunn, how pretentious do I sound right now? Anyway, this is the thingymabob that I have, and I love it. You stick it on a coffee mug, then put a paper filter inside with a few scoops of your favorite coffee, then you pour hot water on top. It makes coffee just as good if not better than a coffee maker would. Long story still a long story, we all do that at work, and some hipstery coffee shops around town are popping up and making coffee this way. So yeah, a guy brought Dunkin Donuts jelly donut flavored coffee to work because he wasn't so sure that buying it was a good idea, so I made some to taste test it out of pure curiosity. And yikes. I mean, I drank it, because it was caffeinated, but whoooweee. Bad move, Dunkin. It took about 3 glasses of water and a bowl of chili to get the aftertaste out of my mouth.

Also in other news, two lights went out in our apartment within days of each other. And not just lightbulbs that can easily be replaced, but those tubular fluorescent deals. And they went out in the kitchen and the bathroom: the two worst places to not have working lights. I can't see myself to get ready, and I can't see my food. MY FOOD. I dream about food all day, and then I come home and I cannot even see it. The absolute horror. And because there is another polar vortex monster roaming about, people have real issues like no heat, so our lightbulb issues have to wait. Good thing it's really not that big of a deal and I'm actually just a drama queen.

It's probably time for me to go read and go to sleep. I'm reading 1984, as I've mentioned, and I'm confused as to why I'm so engrossed in it. I'm surprised I never had to read it in school, but I'm glad because it's the kind of book I know I would've hated if forced to read it in 11th grade when all I cared about was if Rory Gilmore should keep dating Logan or not. I think I needed to get my degree in English before I had the ability to read these types of books and really appreciate and understand them. Most people have that ability before they choose English as a major, but what can I say? I was in it for the creative writing classes. Project read/reread the classics is still going strong.

BRB, off to dream about cake.

10 comments:

  1. I read 1984 in high school and didn't appreciate it. I own a copy of it though, and you talking about reading it has made me want to give it another try. I have to finish the book I'm reading first. And the 30 other suggestions people gave me.

    The best thing Dunkin Donuts ever did was create the blueberry munchkin. The worst thing they ever did was stop making them around here. HOLY CATS, I JUST REMEMBERED I BOUGHT THEM IN ERIE, PA! Do a girl a favor and stop for some on your way out? Yes, they will give you side eyes when you ask for 25 of them. Just a warning!

    I gotta get on this Sherlock train.

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  2. "Funny you should mention that, because I was actually thinking of leaving a Clear Blue test on your desk tomorrow." zOMG, I died. Now THAT would have been a story.

    NOW I WANT ONION RINGS.

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  3. I'm hungry for cake and mac and cheese now. What have you done? :P

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  4. 1. Yes, pour-over coffee is super hip right now, but it was how I was raised to make coffee. My department at work (back when I was a full person and actually had a job) had their own electric tea kettle to boil water and a drip coffee filter. It was glorious, and I swear it makes the best cup of coffee, even rivaling a French Press cup.
    2. That song is awesome.
    3. Gilmore Girls is still the greatest show, I don't even care that I'm 25.
    4. I keep reading about how great Sherlock is, maybe I'll take the plunge...

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  5. i just want to be a fly on the wall during your convos with the guy that sits next to you. also it has been killing me that my schedule has not let me watch any Sherlock this week. best believe i am binging this weekend. lastly. It's lady time of the month for me right now too, it's like our moon cycles know we are blog friends! ;) i also like to refer to this time of the month as shark week. ugh the worst. now i want mac n cheese. thanks a lot

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  6. The first 3 paragraphs of this post = my life.

    I finished season 2 of Sherlock last night and I NEEDED you. Where were you Michelle?! Stupid Watson with his stupid sad moment at the cemetery making me cry. In happier news, I got the new season on iTunes so I'm *almost* caught up with you guys. BUT SERIOUSLY. I'm obsessed with this show and Benedict Cumberbatch's face. HIS FACE. I could honestly just stare at it all day long.

    I'm also on my lady times (period twinsies?! …. too much?) and I've been having cravings that made me think I was pregnant. I wanted all the chocolate and all the Nutella. Even Lance was like "sure you don't want to go pee on a stick?" and I just said "shut up and give me the kitkats!" because hello, why would you mess with a hormonal lady, pregnant or not?!

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  7. Um, I love the way that you write. Stream of consciousness it may be, but you are one of those writers that I feel like I can hear in my head as I nose my way through your content.

    I didn't mean that to sound dirty. I swear.

    Anyway.

    ... Dammit. Hi.

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  8. That coffee makes me shudder just thinking about it. Who came up with that idea?! I need one of those pour over thingys, which probably makes me trendy, but so be it.

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  9. A lady in my office has one of those pour over things and I've wondered about it for a while. I officially need one. My decaf addiction is getting out of control. And freaking expensive.

    I ate homemade nutella out of the jar by the spoonful yesterday and i keep having fantasies about cupcakes piled high with buttercream icing. And sprinkles. And I miss doughnuts so much. Sour cream glaze? My forbidden ex-lover.

    I blame the hormones, too. Feminine times solidarity.

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  10. Um, this is from last week and officially proves that we are cycle sisters (triplets with Alissa). WE OFFICIALLY KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT EACH OTHER.

    Did you watch the finale? DID YOU DID YOU DID YOU?!?!

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