So here's the thing: I'm not into Valentine's day anymore. I don't dislike it; I'm just not into it. At least not as an adult. My mom no longer leaves me a box of chocolate and a new book on the kitchen table every Valentine's Day morning, so like, what's the point, you know? And yeah James could buy me flowers, and while I like flowers, I also really like pizza. So he should really just buy me a pizza and let me watch Netflix in my pajamas. But then Valentine's Day would be like every single Friday night.
I was, however, very much into Valentine's day as a kid. It was more exciting than Christmas! I mean, when else can I spend half a school day covering my shoebox in the perfect shade of pink construction paper? And the stickers! AND OMG THE CANDY!!! And what if (WHAT IF!) the cute boy with the blue shirt puts a valentine in my box this year? WHAT IF HE LOVES ME NOW? Does the Lisa Frank unicorn valentine I gave him make me seem cool? Did I put too many Xs and Os on it? DID I USE THE RIGHT SPARKLE GEL PEN? IS HE LOOKING AT ME? OOMMGGG.
I lived all year for that. All year. The drama of the valentines was like my very own 4th grade soap opera. But now I'm an adult and I can't be like "Here's that report you asked for, Bob, oh and here's a valentine I'm not hitting on you I swear," and then not be able to make eye contact for a month. I can't live with any more awkward moments in my life. I just can't. I'll implode.
So I decided to make you guys valentines instead. A token of my love and appreciation. I made them as CLASSY as I could. Feel free to give one to your crush or significant other. I guarantee it will make them feel OH SO LOVED AND APPRECIATED.
I think I have finally found my calling in life.