let's pretend this is a very important interview

stolen from Alissa who stole it from Buzzfeed

1. What's your wallpaper on your phone and/or computer?

Polka dots on my phone, these cats on my computer.

2. When you walk into a bar, what do you typically order?

Advil, because I imagine walking into a bar would give me a headache.

ba dum tssshhh

3. What's the one word you are guilty of using too often?

I go through word phases where I say something nonstop for 2 weeks and then I completely forget about it. Goaticorn is my current word. A few weeks ago it was "flapping" (i.e. I am flapping tired).

However, I think my next word it going to be michellefie (Michelle + selfie [even though I fundamentally hate this word, but I am not one to pass up a pun]). Look for this hashtag coming to an Instagram near you.

4. What's the last thing you searched for on Google?

Goats. Yes, goats. It involved me editing pictures of goats to make them into goaticorns and then emailing them to coworkers. I am a joy to work with.

How sick are you of hearing about goaticorns? Hopefully not very, because here are more pictures I drew. Someone please make me stop.

5. Who is the last person who called or texted you?

My friend Colleen texted me, because sometimes we text our food fantasies to each other and I was having a moment this afternoon. Everyone needs a friend like that. The last person to call me was ECU Alumni Association begging for money. At least I'm assuming that's who it was judging by the area code. I screen phone calls like I avoid people on the street.

6. What was the last awkward situation you were in, and how did you handle it?

Yesterday I was in the break room, and the area I was in was PACKED with people. I was leaning against the counter, and when I started to walk away I noticed a cardboard box full of straws behind me started to move. I quickly turned around and caught the box just before it fell. I started to walk away again and the exact same thing happened. And then it happened a third time. I turned further around to find that my dress was hooked to the handle of the drawer I was leaning against. I unhooked it and started to walk away and the box started to fall again. I turned around again and discovered that the packing tape from the box was stuck to my butt. I ripped it off, looked up, and noticed every single person in the room watching me, one of them laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. I handled it by running away.

7. When is the last time you went to a theater?

A few months ago to see The Monuments Men, though I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to see Divergent.

8. What TV show should everyone be watching?

Psych. It's like Sherlock but extremely hilarious.

9. What is your TV guilty pleasure?

Any of the Real Housewives. Though now that I don't have cable I can't exactly watch it, which is probably good for my IQ.

10. What is the one food you cannot resist?

Pizza. I have zero self control.

11. What is the first CD you bought?

It was definitely either Backstreet Boys or Relient K. The sounds of my tweenhood.

12. What music are you currently listening to?

The Avett Brothers all day long. And also Old Man Canyon.

13. What movie makes you laugh the most?

Napoleon Dynamite or Anchorman. The more I see them, the funnier they get. It's science.


14. What drives you absolutely crazy?

The better question would be WHAT DOESN'T?

But lately it's been people whining about the weather. It snowed last weekend and everyone freaked out. And then it dropped ten degrees and rained yesterday and everybody freaked out. GET OVER IT, YOU GUYS. It's not the end of the world. Spring and summer come every year. They're going to come. Soon you'll be whining about the heat. So do us all a favor and kindly shove it.

15. A secret:

Even though it looks like the most horrifying thing on the planet, I'm almost dying to try Taco Bell's breakfast. The waffle taco. So wrong, but oh so right. But mostly wrong.


  1. oh Michelle sometimes your life makes me doubt your existence as an actual, real life human being and not a fictional characters in some rom com gone wrong.

    you are so wonderful.

    I also love pizza. :)

  2. MICHELLEFIE. I can't even comment on the rest of this because of how OVERJOYED THAT WORD MAKES ME. I can't move past it. You're my favorite person who has ever lived.

  3. There doesn't happen to be a video camera in your break room, does there? Just wondering... :)

    I cannot get through an entire episode of RHONY. I watch about 30-45 minutes, and feel like I've lost enough brain cells for one night. But LuAnn is back, so I'ma have to check that out.


  4. Number six had me laughing!! Sorry, I would have been the one with tears in my eyes.

    And Michellfie is genius. The only pun I can come up with my name is Shitney. And my friends use to call me that, then one day this chick who hated me said it like she was sooo clever and I was like, "I came up with that first. You look stupid."

  5. You just might have sold me on Psych by saying it's "like Sherlock".

  6. I'm tempted by Taco Bell's breakfast offerings as well, anything wrapped in a waffle cannot be bad!

  7. the only way to handle that break room situation properly was to run away. proud of you.

  8. Pizza is so my weakness,too!
    And I totally had ALL the reliant K cd's...In fact, it was the first concert I ever attended!

  9. omg. taco bell breakfast? Please, please don't.

  10. Michellfie? Hilarious. You have to do that.

  11. MICHELLEFIE?! I kind of really love it.

    Also. If someone says pizza isn't one of their weakness, I immediately assume they're aliens.

  12. Michellfie is the only acceptable form of selfie. I"ll allow it.


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