1. Shopping at a store while wearing something I obviously bought there. Is this a weird thing to feel awkward about? I think it is. This happens to me all the time, and I'm usually wearing the ONE thing I bought there, and it's all just unfortunate timing. I feel like when this happens I have #OBSESSED hashtagged all over me, and I never want to be that person.
2. Getting carts unstuck at the grocery store. You know how you have to pull them apart to grab one before you shop? I can never pull them apart. I always grab the ones superglued together, and someone is always waiting behind me, and then I get the nervous sweats, and they have to watch while I try to pull apart all the carts and fail miserably. I pulled on two so hard on Sunday that they flew apart and rolled over my toes.
3. People who whine about people getting married. Specifically, when they whine about it to me, a married woman. This happens more than you would think. Every time someone tells me they hate that their friends are married or engaged, I sit in an awkward silence waiting for them to realize who they're saying this to, but they never do. I wouldn't tell someone with a baby that I'm sick of people our age having kids (I'm not, but it's ok to not interrupt me at work to tell me about the oatmeal they ate for breakfast yesterday) unless I wanted to ruin her day and/or our friendship. We're in our 20s. These are the things that happen. Get over it.
4. Knowing when to hold the door open for someone. I need a flashing signal once someone is an acceptable distance away so you know when to hold the door. A subtle beep, a line on the floor, a gang sign, anything. Otherwise, if you hold it too soon, the other person feels obligated to half sprint/half power walk, then I feel bad for making them rush when I was just trying to be polite. I don't ever want anyone to think I'm rude, but I also don't want to make life awkward for anyone because I do that enough as it is.
5. When people ask what I'm reading. Is that weird? It is. It doesn't happen every time; it depends what I'm reading and who's asking. Something about it makes me feel weird and vulnerable and like I need to give a disclaimer for reading yet another book about the amish or WWII. It's like telling people the name you picked out for your baby before they're born (it's not like that at all); people will not hesitate to tell you their opinions and how much they dislike it and then ask you why on earth you would consider reading that book/naming your kid that awful name that reminds them of someone from 3rd grade who made them cry once. And then you're left sitting there feeling emotionally violated and wishing you had never said anything in the first place.