ben folds five should consider renaming their song

Tuesday was bad day number #17 in a row. When I lived with my parents, I took all emotions out on my piano. It's the purest form of therapy for me. On bad days, I wouldn't speak to anyone until I had played through my feelings. I live and breathe music, and creating it turns me inside out. But unfortunately I was at work and not sitting at my piano. So I did the next best thing and listened to someone else bang the heck out of one. I cranked Ben Folds all day long. That man does things to a piano that would make Beethoven roll over in his grave. If he hadn't been deaf, of course.

I had taken my headphones out of my phone for whatever reason at one point in the afternoon, and I stuck them back in so I could jam out and dive back into my work. I turned on Battle Of Who Could Care Less, and noticed I couldn't hear it well. And that's when I noticed that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way, and the song was BLARING throughout the previously silent office. And I do mean full blast. I quickly lost The Battle of Who Could Care Less, because I couldn't have cared more that all eyes were on me. We have a very open concept office, and at least 50 people must've heard. It's certainly not the worst thing that could happen at work, but whenever I unintentionally draw attention to myself, I die inside. I reached to the hit the pause button, but in my panic I hit the home button instead. I continued to panic and fumble around, tossing my phone in the air like a hot potato trying to figure out how to stop the music. I finally calmed just enough to open the music app and and hit pause, and as the relief flooded me, the humiliation hit me like a frying pan over the head. I froze in place for two full minutes, willing everyone to unhear what they just heard, and counting my blessings that I found the pause button before Ben dropped his signature f-bomb.

I'm just glad I was listening to Ben Folds and not NSYNC like I've been known to listen to at work. Can you imagine? But of course I picked the song with the most annoying intro. No really, it is. Such a good song, but such an obnoxious intro, and that falsetto voice was a neon sign pointing directly at me.

But don't worry! That wasn't my only embarrassing moment. I was in our break room talking to someone earlier that morning, when I noticed my back pocket was hooked to the drawer handle behind me. I tried to discreetly unhook myself, but I realized I had failed when I started to walk away and opened the drawer with my butt. 

Once again, more like the Battle of I Couldn't Care More That This Just Happened.


  1. I actually laughed out loud at your misfortune, I'm sorry. But Ben Folds is the bomb. I've been jamming out to him for years, and he's coming to Cleveland right at the beginning of June! Still trying to make myself buy the tickets.

  2. OH MY WORD, accidentally playing music aloud in the office is something WE HAVE ALL DONE. I haven't done it in this office yet, and it wouldn't matter if I did, because I'm sort of secluded in my work space- but when I lived in VT and worked in a giant office I used to listen to music all the time (because I had no friends, but that's beside the point) and at least once a week I used to get up to walk away from my desk with the headphones STILL PLUGGED INTO THE COMPUTER TOWER and get whiplash/let everyone know what I was listening to when the headphones got yanked out. Usually it was Glee covers. ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME!

  3. MICHELLE. "I lost the battle..." I am undone. Too funny! I'm sure no one judged you (after 5 minutes) (but for the first 5, I cannot be so sure...) I'll have to listen to that song, because I like the name of it!

    My pockets get caught in the handles on the drawers in my kitchen ALL OF THE TIME. Luckily this typically only happens in front of the cats.

  4. you're my hero. I confess. I feel for your awkwardness and hate when my phone blasts the volume when I am not prepared and then i fumble and throw it on accident. I can relate 100%

  5. I wish I lived in Ohio JUST so you can teach me how to play piano.

    Seriously though, at least it WAS Ben Folds. He's a genius and I love him. Him and Sara Bareilles were the perfect combo for The Sing-Off. Shawn from Boyz II Men? Ehhhhhh. Can't believe you didn't have your earplugs in all the way!!!! Are you all in one huge room with cubicles???? I'm trying to get a mental picture of this situation. ;)

    I hope you had either a glass of wine or a bowl of ice cream at the end of this embarassing #17 day.

  6. Michelle. When you start your posts out with "it was a bad day" I ALWAYS end up giggling by the end of the post!! How do you do that?!

    I play my music loud at work because we aren't allowed to wear head phone due to "safety purposes." I dunno. We have a lot of moving parts around here... ANYWAY. when I first started here I was listening to Pandora and I was trying to get a song I wanted to listen to to come on by putting the filter on musicals and The Phantom of the Opera came on. I was across the lab and didn't notice it until my boss slowly walked out of his office and was staring at the radio. Mind you, normally I wouldn't be ashamed of listening to the Phantom because I love it, but I work with construction workers and they're very judgmental of stuff like that. And my boss goes, "You know, we've heard a lot of music in this lab, but I think this is the first time EVER someone has played Opera..." And I was so embarrassed.

    That's my embarrassing music at work story.


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