Listen, folks. I'm about to yack your ear off about pregnancy. Months ago, I would immediately mark most pregnancy posts as "read" on bloglovin, but now that I've joined the ranks of waddling women, I can't read enough of them. So this post is for the few of you out there who feel the same. I also figured I should let everyone know I'm no longer on the brink of death, as my last post may have led you to believe.
And for those of you who haven't heard, we're having a girl! I knew it. I had that gut feeling from the second I found out I was pregnant, and all my dreams were about having a girl. We are so excited we could puke. In fact, I almost did, but for different reasons. Moving on! We had our ultrasound on Tuesday, and I had been an anxious MESS for the past month leading up to it. I was dying to know the gender but also scared to death to find out, because I've still been partly in denial that I will have an actual baby at the end of this, and finding out the gender would make it so much more real. PLUS, it's the anatomy scan where they check the heart and brain and all organs and every single thing you can imagine to make sure there aren't any defects. It's terrifying. I couldn't even sleep the night before I was so nervous, and I was such a basket case the ultrasound tech didn't know what to do with me. My mom came with us, and I was so happy to have her there. Thankfully, the baby is perfect, measuring right on track, and as healthy as can be. And a GIRL. I am so happy and excited and relieved and THANKFUL. James is dying he's so happy. He wanted a baby girl more than anything (who are we kidding, so did I!). The whole thing felt like Christmas morning. I've been smiling nonstop ever since. And it was great to get confirmation that the baby's head is directly on my bladder, because I knew there was a reason I had to pee 24/7.
As I hinted at earlier, I am finally able to unchain myself from the toilet. I am, however, STILL on nausea medicine. I've gone without it twice in the last month, and both times I lived to regret it. But while I'm on it, I feel mostly good. Which is incredible. I have an appetite!! It came raging back a few weeks ago. The baby must've gone through a growth spurt, because suddenly I couldn't shovel down food fast enough and I had to officially transition into maternity clothes. Despite my healthier appetite, I still don't love food. It's still a struggle to think of things that sound good and don't gross me out. I expected pregnancy to be a 9 month love affair with food, but it has not been. Not in the slightest. I have yet to get a real craving, aside from the strange moment I had at work yesterday. I swear I smelled ham, and I literally (no, literally) started salivating. I nearly started sprinting out the door in search of a Honeybaked Ham, and I don't really even like ham. But a ham and cheese sandwich? TANTALIZING. And I guess I have wanted to drown myself in a vat of orange juice. But that's about it.
I still have a good amount of food aversions. Basically anything I ate while I was super sick is off the table now. The thought of it all makes me so queasy. I'm still so intensely grossed out by coffee, which will never cease to surprise me. And this thing about pregnant women and ice cream? LIES. Ice cream is repulsive. I even have music aversions! I fell in love with the band Jamestown Revival back in August, and I would listen to them whenever I had to drive to get my mind off the nausea. One of the songs came on yesterday while I was driving to work, and I swear to you it made me nauseous. Anything that reminds me of those early days immediately makes me feel sick again. The smell of the pantry still sends me into a tailspin. OH! And get this. We had a blood drive at work a couple weeks ago. It was held in the break room, which is great, because that's where we keep our food so it's not gross at all. Anyway, I went down to heat up my lunch, and I SWEAR to you I could smell all the blood. I was dry heaving and had to stick my head in my shirt while my food was microwaved. That was a rough day.
Let's talk about maternity clothes! And how they're three times the price of normal clothes! Ok, not always, but it feels like it and I've taken offense. At Old Navy, a normal tank top was about $5. The maternity version? $13. GOOD GRIEF. Aside from that, I love their maternity clothes. They're mostly affordable, unlike places like Motherhood Maternity that charge $50 for a basic shirt. NOPE, no thanks. I looked them up online out of curiosity and had that dizzying, otherworldly sensation I feel whenever I look at JCrew price tag. But enough about the price, let's talk about how comfortable they are and how they should be worn at all times forever even when you're not pregnant. They are MAGNIFICENT. The shirts are LONG. The waistbands are ELASTIC. Everything stretches!! Pulling on a pair of maternity jeans is the closest thing to wearing pajamas. It practically feels like cheating. And you will never feel sexier than when you pull up a pair of jeans with a maternity band so high it comes up to your boobs. BLISS.
But maternity dresses? Let's discuss. They're either boxy, or they're skin tight. Listen. Left unchecked, I can have a real Kim Kardashian situation going on back there, just 100% more pale and 200% less rich. But here's the thing, I've tried on dozens of these dresses, and I need the stretchy section to be in the back, not the front. Whoever designs these dresses made them to fit a pregnant man. That's all I will say about that. The days I've needed to dress up for work have become a bit of a challenge. But MATERNITY LEGGINGS. In heaven, our souls wear maternity leggings.
Judging by what I've read and what my doctor has told me, I think I'm in the sweet spot of pregnancy. I'm no longer throwing up everything I swallow, and I'm not too uncomfortable yet. Except for all day at work. My desk chair has been working some kind of evil sorcery on my hips, and whenever I stand up, I nearly fall to the ground. My first few steps after standing up either look like a baby learning to walk or like a very untalented break dancer. I am, however, EXHAUSTED all the time. I never really got that 2nd trimester burst of energy I heard so much about. I have a bit more energy, but I still feel like I could sleep all day everyday. But other than that, I'm starting to very slightly understand why some women love pregnancy. It's still the hardest thing I've ever done, but it's also the best. Whenever I'm not nauseous or in pain and I feel the baby kick and wiggle around, I start to think maybe there is the tiniest sliver of a chance that I'll do this again. Maybe. No promises, but it's not completely ruled out anymore. But not for a long time! I still need to survive the rest of this pregnancy. This absolutely not how I thought this year was going to go, but I'm so happy to be wrong. This baby came out of the blue, and she's (she!!!!) healthy, and it's happening, and I am just so utterly grateful that I can't even stand it. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.