merry christmas, sh*tter's full

(sorry about the title, mom)

Listen. I'm having a case of the Mondays. Just let me get this off my chest, will you?

There's this really awful newish person at work I've had the displeasure of training. She's rude and condescending and won't listen to me because she assumes she knows better, which means my days have been full of damage control and reminding her again of why she can't do what she did, and then she does it again.  She's one of the only people I've ever met that makes it physically painful for me to be civil with. She's the new PFF, except instead of a passion for fashion, she has a passion for interjecting into everyone's conversations with her unsolicited opinions. But let's not keep talking about this because my blood pressure is rising by the second.

Then there's the girl two feet away from me who has been scream-coughing for 3 weeks. Three weeks. And she refuses to take medicine or go to the doctor. She won't even use a cough drop. I have chest cold germs all over me regardless of the fact that I've said "please stop coughing on the pregnant girl" 45 times an hour, and my ears are still ringing from the sound of her coughs which sound like a dying animal. She coughs as loud as humanly possible and if I have to listen to it for one more day I will start to cry. If you won't do anything to make yourself and those around you less miserable, then I have no sympathy.

I got a changing table tonight from Craigslist that matches the crib. I felt like an idiot when I picked it up because I realized I didn't know how to put the seats down in my car, and she had to figure it out for me. I felt just as idiotic the time my mom had to explain the baby bathtub to me, which may or may not have been yesterday afternoon. It was confusing, ok? Except when she explained it to me I started to question my intelligence and wonder how I will keep a tiny human alive when I can't figure out a bleeping plastic bathtub. But back to the changing table. I got so embarrassed I started sweating through my clothes and rambling and I'm just really glad I never have to see her again. The changing table also has questionable stains because, hello, it's a changing table, and I will need to repaint it. Which means James needs to repaint it. And even though that doesn't involve me in the slightest, I feel exhausted just thinking about it.

Craigslist is not for the faint of heart and I hate it. I had an appointment to pick up a dresser for the nursery tomorrow night, but the jerk decided to sell it tonight instead and I would like to hunt him down and speak to him about manners. And let's not talk about the bidding wars and the people who don't respond and the people who do respond but then suddenly disappear and the fact that you realize some things won't fit in your car and also you're 6.5 months pregnant and can't help carry heavy things and your hormones turn this into something worthy of having meltdowns over. I'm not emotionally stable enough for this. Let's not talk about this anymore. I'm stressed out.

I came home in a royal mood and decided to make some hot chocolate and rewatch Sherlock to feel better. I went upstairs to find that the maintenance man did not fix our shower like he said he did.  The volume buttons on my phone stopped working, along with the power button. I also discovered that I left my closet light on all day. I went to turn it off, got distracted by the baby dancing on my bladder, and forgot to turn it off for another 3 hours. After I sat down on the couch with my goods, I realized my shirt was on all wrong and that simple realization made me teary-eyed. Then the smoke detector started chirping and James said he couldn't hear a thing. I'm starting to lose my sanity and he is completely oblivious to the very loud chirping and HOW DOES SOMEONE NOT HEAR THAT. IT IS VERY LOUD.

I looked through blog posts looking for some kind of blogging inspiration. Oh, what is this? Baby necessities? I'm about to have a baby, so lemme look. A $100 baby carrier? A $50 designer blanket for my baby to spit up on? Maybe your smoke detector is going off too, because you are out of your mind.

It's 10:00 and I meant to be in bed an hour ago with my book. AS IF I can sleep with the smoke detector chirping in caps lock. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Bad days should be outlawed in December, right? It's Christmas time! I shouldn't want to pull my hair out.


  1. LISTEN, there is a beeping at my office that apparently only I can hear. It's like.. maybe once an hour. It is LOUD, to me at least, so I don't understand how no one else hears it. I don't think it's a smoke detector, but as of this moment I have narrowed it down to our external computer backup or my copy machine. I just...don't know. It drives me INSANE.

    Also, can we talk about how You've Got Mail is leaving Netflix already? I am not happy.

  2. Isaiah never hears the same beeping/ticking/clicking noises I do, either! He has this watch that ticks SO loudly I can hear it throughout the whole house when it's quiet, and he can't hear it, and it drives me crazy. I have to make him put it in a drawer at night just so it doesn't keep me awake.

    I do not and will not ever understand ridiculously expensive baby items. It has to be a status/rich person thing. Your baby's not going to care if her changing table is $500 or refurbished or if her tiny moccasins she can wear for exactly 1.2 months cost $60.

    And seriously, Mondays in December should be against the law. Also, I woke up today legit thinking it was Wednesday, and now *I* want to cry.

  3. Okay so i'm going to be honest. I only read the first few paragraphs of this. #widn: there are two strangers in my home packing up everything i own so i can move across the Flippin country. So i'm hiding in a closet (okay, its a walk in), nursing a cranky baby and trying to read this. Thus, the limit in my ability to read....I can tell by the first few paragraphs, you and i will be fast friends. Can't wait to stalk you more (at nap time).

  4. Ugh to annoying coworkers. Especially ones who are sick and will not take their germs elsewhere! Yuck... I'm cringing just thinking about it. Jared and I seem to have this "talent" for sitting right in front of the sickest/germiest person in church every week and I cannot take the coughing/sneezing going on behind us. I used to kinda' like the baby guides/must-haves on blogs because I mean, eventually I'd like a baby, but OMG on the pricetags for sure. No thanks, I will just stress out at Target and make Jared fetch things from Craig's List ;) You are smart!

  5. The new PFF sounds like my sister in law (husband's brother's wife = HELL). BUT YOU HAVE TO WORK WITH THE MONSTER. My sympathies to you...

    Scream cough? That's disgusting and she needs to be quarantined asap.


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