2.05.2015

let's get emotional girls to all wear mood rings



It's Thursday morning, and I'm sitting on the couch with a banana blueberry smoothie because I insisted on breakfasting like it's spring even though today's high is 14 degrees.

This has been A Week. I hate to use the "but I have so many hormones!" excuse, but really, I think it's valid. I have NOT been myself. I've been weepy and crying over everything and wrote a post in my head yesterday about how I feel like my life is spiraling out of control. Is it actually spiraling out of control? No, but Netflix was down, the bathroom lights stopped working, James and I had a dramatic saga hanging shelves, and I had just woken up from a night full of nightmares. And then yesterday continued to spiral. My mood continue to spiral. In desperation, I pulled out all the stops and listened to Relient K. They were the soothing balm of my teenage years when I wore American Eagle shirts and pink converse to school every day, and to this day they sound like a warm hug whenever I listen to them. I usually default to my old standards on bad days: the Avetts or Ella or Mumford or Etta. But you know I'm at my wit's end when Relient K comes out. They just get me.

If you're not aware, Relient K has a song called Mood Rings which will probably annoy every feminist ever, but I've always thought it was funny. I listened to it yesterday for the first time in a long time, and WELL. I don't know how Matt Thiessen knew I would be a hormonal wreck in 2015, but he wrote a killer song about me back in 2003.

"SHE'S SO PRETTY BUT SHE DOESN'T ALWAYS ACT THAT WAY
HER MOODS ARE SWINGING ON THE SWING SET ALMOST EVERY DAY
SHE SAID TO ME THAT SHE'S SO HAPPY IT'S DEPRESSING
AND ALL I SAID WAS SOMEONE GET THAT GIRL A MOOD RING."

I mean, REALLY!! This is my life, you guys. Except I need a mood ring for me, because I can't even decipher my moods lately. This is why Relient K is brilliant. They understand me on a spiritual level.

Ugh, where is an AIM away message when you need one? I have so many lyrics about my feelings to share!

"If it's drama you want, then look no further,
They're like The Real World meets Boy Meets World meets Days of Our Lives."

Which brings me to my next point: birth playlists. An obvious segue, no? I'm going to be honest: I think they're weird. Don't get me wrong! Clearly I understand the value of soothing music. But how will I know what will calm me down in the middle of a contraction? I was so terrified on the way to our anatomy ultrasound that I listed to Livin' It Up by Ja Rule for the entire 20 minute drive. ON REPEAT. Not exactly baby appropriate, but it literally was keeping me from hyperventilating. Early 2000s rap will do that, I suppose. But what if that's what I needed in labor? I could never subject a room of doctors and nurses to my musical whims. I'm not bossy enough for that.

But if we're going off this week's track record, all I would want to put on a birth playlist would be Relient K. However, I don't think the first thing my offspring needs to hear is:

"AND I'M ONLY GONNA PIERCE MY LEFT EAR
AND I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS MUSTACHE ALL SUMMER LONG
AND MY FAVORITE BAND WILL ALWAYS BE TEARS FOR FEARS
AND I'M GONNA WEAR A PINK TUX TO THE PROM"

But on second thought....

It's probably time for me to go to work now. I just got an email from my health insurance company that they've been hacked and all my personal information was stolen. Of course it was. And the week from the underworld continues...

Did I tell you it's a full moon? No wonder!

6 comments:

  1. I think if you rolled into that delivery room and requested early-mid 2000's rap ONLY be played, that baby is going to come out like a freaking BALLER. Consider it!!! Also re: your insurance company- UGH! Remember when that happened at Target last year, or two years ago? My information didn't get stolen, but as a precaution my bank sent me a new debit card and I was VERY dramatic about having to take the time to change all of my auto-pay subscriptions all the places I had my old card number saved. I know you understand.

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  2. I say play whatever music you think will work for you. I'm terrified of the dentist and recently had to go in for a checkup. The only thing that got me through the appointment was listening to Awesome Mix Volume 1 from Guardians of the Galaxy. Sometimes soothing is not necessarily Kenny G and whale noises.

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  3. I feel like birth playlists are for people that know what they're doing. Mine would probably include Sunday Bloody Sunday.

    I loved Relient K in high school. And now they're going to be stuck in my head all day.

    I've been drinking smoothies since Christmas. Winter be darned.

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  4. American Eagle shirts!! All day, every day.

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  5. I heard about that on the news! I'm an old customer of them so I'm sure all my information is in there somewhere. Sigh.

    I miss that pink tux to the prom song. I remember listening to it in highschool.

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