what's been happening

No baby yet!

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, hi! 

I'm still around. Still kickin'. Still not sleeping (I was awake from 3am to 7am Saturday night, please let me whine about it). Still drinking smoothies like my life depends on it. Still crying for no reason.

Not much has gone on this past week. I finished the nursery, minus the mobile. I love it so much. I'll show you 5,000 pictures soon, I promise. I sent James an overwhelming list toward the end of January of all things we needed for baby and all the nesting projects I wanted to get done. We both never thought we'd be able to make a dent in it, but it's 98% finished. The nursery walls are covered with embroidery hoops, including my pink llamas, which are every bit as amazing as I dreamed they would be.

Last week I decided to jump on a three year old bandwagon and ROYGBIV my bookshelves. I hated the way they looked and clearly color coordination (and alliteration?) was the only alternative. It brings me back to my high school days of matching my shirt to my underwear and my mechanical pencil to my shirt. I thought I had outgrown that particular quirk, but apparently not.

While I was working on the bookshelves, I decided to put a record on (typing that makes me want to sing Put Your Records On by Corrine Bailey Rae...anyone?). An ABBA record that I found in the basement of a thrift shop last month. My dad and I used to have ABBA dance parties when I was a kid, and I fully intend on raising my child the same way, so it was crucial that I bought it. I put the record on the turntable, BUT IT WOULDN'T SPIN. I had a conniption fit. I was so upset I couldn't even eat my dinner, and James was the recipient of probably 63 melodramatic text messages re: the end of my life. I read the instruction manual twice. Two hours later I discovered there was a switch in the back I didn't flip. I felt so relieved I cranked up the volume to SOS and almost danced my way into labor.

James has been setting baby things up like crazy. Right after we rolled out of bed last weekend, he immediately put the stroller together and set up the baby monitor (an audio, NOT a video, because we are not government-level spies)(but mostly because we're cheap). I've been pushing the empty stroller around the living room like a 3 year old playing with her dolls, and I am dying to push an actual baby around in it. My childhood dreams are coming true! A stroller with a real baby! The only downside is that the diaper bag does not match the stroller, and I'd be lying if I said that hasn't been making me sweat a little (I'm starting to wonder what made me think I outgrew my color coordinating streak?). But my diaper bag makes my heart skip a beat, so I'll deal with it. I WILL. But the baby monitor? So much fun to use as walkie talkies! Until you're in the nursery late at night having conversations with the cat and you realize that your husband can hear everything through the unit downstairs.

Not that I would know from experience. 

Anyway! We celebrated my 26th birthday yesterday. I spent the day telling James birthday trivia, such as "do remember what happened 6 years ago today? You fixed my roommate's flat tire and then told me you had a crush on me. And now we're married and having a baby!" and "16 years ago today I had a birthday party at a roller skating rink and all my friends got in a fight with each other" and, of course, "21 years ago today all of my friends were on my swing set in the backyard, and there's a picture of me standing next to the swing set sucking my thumb because I didn't want to share my swings." (<--only child problems). It was a very informative day.

When I got out of bed, James had the new Jamie Cullum record playing and I nearly lost myself at the sound of muted trumpets and jazz piano. I loved it so much. He made some coffee and I broke all the rules and drank some in my new Anthro mug, because if I'm going to drink coffee, I'm going to do it in style. We went out to lunch with my parents, and I wore the dress I just got on clearance from the Target maternity section, because even though my due date is next week, I'm going to scream if I have to look at one of the 3 maternity shirts I own that still fit. Plus, every girl needs a new dress on her birthday. I tried it on right after getting a haircut and while wearing my spiffy new glasses, so I was feeling like hot stuff. I loved the way it looked in the dressing room. It's not the kind of dress I would ever wear while not pregnant, but while pregnant? Yes. My belly detracts from the rest of my, ahem, assets, and the fact that I look exactly like someone hooked my entire body up to an air pump. The puffiness! But then we took a bunch of pictures after lunch and I realized that I could be 16 months pregnant with triplets and my assets will still be the size of Kim Kardashian's bank account, and nothing will detract from that ever. However, comfort reigns supreme and I plan on wearing the dress until I give birth. But if you really want to know how something looks on you, don't use a dressing room mirror. Have someone take a picture of you instead. The camera never lies, but mirrors do. 

I think you'll find that in the book of Proverbs.

Anyway, my parents came over, and so did my newly-acquired double chin who was NOT invited, and we had cake and ice cream and I opened presents with my feet elevated because swelling is real and none of my shoes fit. They also brought some of my childhood treasures over, like a wooden rocking horse (be still my heart) and Samantha the American Doll, which we all know was a big hit for me when I was younger. She was dressed in her yellow and black ski gear when my parents found her. My dad also brought over a bunch of his records from high school and college. I screamed. He gave a grand presentation for each record including where the record ranked in his collection, where and when he bought it, and where and when he saw this particular artist in concert. So much fantastic 70s and 80s music, and I am now determined to use it to dance this baby out, because if I don't get some heartburn relief soon, drastic measures will have to be taken.

After they left, and because I have hormones, I cried on the couch for 2 hours. Full-body sobs. For absolutely no reason, but they wouldn't stop coming! I cried and then I calmed down, and then I cried again. And then I calmed down, and then I cried again. Not one thing was making me unhappy. Once James talked me off the ledge, I laid down on the couch and then realized I couldn't move. I was completely unable to hoist myself up, as all my energy had leaked out of my tear ducts. I was thinking we might need to hire some sort of industrial crane to lift me up, but he managed to push me up and then suggested the brilliant idea of Life Alert for pregnant women. Push a button and have someone come lift me up off the floor/bed/couch? Yes. I would pay a lot of money for that. Otherwise I'll have another situation like I did a few weeks ago, where I fell in the pantry and since it was too difficult/impossible to get up, I took the opportunity to purge and organize the bottom 3 shelves of canned goods and pasta until James inevitably found me and pulled me up. What I'm trying to say is that I'm not very self-sufficient these days.

After I calmed down, we sat on the couch talking for hours about life and college memories and look how well that blanket matches the stroller! It was so nice. I made myself a birthday smoothie and we shared a bowl of mac n cheese. I'm still clinically addicted to the smell of rubber, so I periodically fished out my new pair of red Chucks to sniff their glorious new-shoe rubber smell. I'm seriously going weak just typing this out. They smell like new tires!!!! I can't even dream of fitting my swollen feet in to them until after I have the baby, so I'm going to carry them around as air fresheners until then. They smell so good. I want to stick them up my nose. I nearly started to nibble on them, but I caught myself once James walked back in the room. I'm losing all sense of control and reality.

But the good news? I got a new vacuum for my birthday. And I'm not saying this sarcastically. I actually yelped over the baseboard attachments. Do you have any idea how much fun I'm going to have with that this week? I can't even begin to tell you. Baseboards, embroidery, and spiffing up the master bedroom are my goals for the week. And if the baby wants to come, that might be ok given my mood. I'm slowly exchanging my fear and anxiety for desperation to not be pregnant anymore. Plus, my mom knit the baby a vest to match a pair of cat leggings she got for her, and if I don't get to stick that outfit on her and push her in a stroller soon, I'm going to lose it.

Speaking of Hobby Lobby! Ok, we weren't, but my blog my rules. Have I told you this story? I don't remember, but listen up. Back in January I went to the Hob Lob to get some knobs (so much rhyming!) for the baby's dresser. When I was finished checking out, I walked into someone and immediately started apologizing profusely. As I was apologizing, I turned around to realize I had walked into a pole and not a person. There were many witnesses, and I waddled my way out as fast as I could. Fast forward to last Friday night. I ran back in to grab some more embroidery hoops (the pink llamas needed a home!), and as I finished checking out, I walked into someone again. But nope! It was the SAME POLE. I DID IT AGAIN. AGAIN! So embarrassing. I drove home as fast as I could and took comfort in my maternity leggings and sparkling water.

It's officially last week of work before maternity leave (was that the hallelujah chorus I just heard?). I have leftover birthday cake in the kitchen. I'm hoping this means no more spastic crying, but I have an OB appointment this morning so I can't make any promises. It's also supposed to hit 70 degrees today, which means I should probably switch out my seasonal body wash collection. Oh, am I the only one with seasonal body washes? All I'm saying is that I've been hanging on to some apple lavender body wash since December. It's the little things that help me feel less like an inflatable incubator stitched together with stretch marks and more like a human.

Given the weather, maybe I should also change Samantha out of her ski gear.


  1. I love your record player setup ESPECIALLY with that Brooklyn poster back there. My favorite!! :) I just got my beautiful suitcase record player for my birthday last year, and in the last two months or so it has already crapped the bed. I should have taken the reviews seriously that warned me "this is more for the look than anything else!" "it will destroy your records!" "the sound is garbage!" BUT I DIDN'T CARE. And now when I try to play records, everyone sounds like they're singing in terrifyingly slow motion. Luckily my birthday is coming around again soon, this time I WILL READ THE REVIEWS.

    How cute are you in your birthday dress??? Now I also want to go peruse the maternity section at Target- not because I need to- but because comfort is the deciding factor in all clothes that I buy ever. Happy Birthday again!!! :)

  2. I totally have that Target clearance dress! It's probably one of my most comfortable things aside from my sweatpants but I've been told they aren't "work appropriate."

    I see no llamas. I see sheep. I think one of us is animal confused.

    High five for the last week of work! My jealousy knows no bounds.

    I'm glad you had a good birthday aside from all the crying. Now you're ready for the next tear-filled birthday!

  3. I totally have that Target clearance dress! It's probably one of my most comfortable things aside from my sweatpants but I've been told they aren't "work appropriate."

    I see no llamas. I see sheep. I think one of us is animal confused.

    High five for the last week of work! My jealousy knows no bounds.

    I'm glad you had a good birthday aside from all the crying. Now you're ready for the next tear-filled birthday!

  4. So many things to say! Happy belated birthday! It sounds like you had fun. YUM to Mac and cheese!!! You're totally rocking that Target dress. I'm not even pregnant but I've totally bought target maternity wear before...yep! I said it!!!!!

    I think a good ugly cry is good for the soul every now and then girl. Who cares?! ;) glad your man was there to reign you back in though.

    I hope this baby comes soon!!!

    1. PS when I have a baby will you make me those embroidered hoop things?! I'm LOVING THEM!

  5. The embroidery hoops are amazing! I can't wait to see all of your nursery pics. It sounds so beautiful and vintage and girly. We find out this week what we're having and then I'm going to be ALL IN to nursery prep. I'm just now getting into the crying phase of pregnancy, and whew it's a doozy! Yesterday I started crying when the Mr. told me he wanted to get a hair cut. I think he's a bit scared of me, but he's good at hiding it with hugs and understanding. Happy Belated Birthday!!

  6. Ummm, sometimes your posts are so overwhelmingly relatable, that I find myself at a loss for how to respond.
    I cannot wait to see your nursery- seriously. Or your baby. We have embroidery hoops all up in my sons too. Yes to hobby lobby vs. the pregnant woman - and to the records. (I am partial to Gerry Rafferty). I remember sending super melodramatic texts to my husband... It stopped when... JK. I totally still do this.

    Thank you for a good laugh - sending good baby vibes your way.

  7. So many things to talk about...

    1) It's almost a shame you're about to have that baby because you're definitely a cute pregnant person.

    2) CORINNE BAILEY RAE! I completely forgot about her, and as soon as I hit publish on this comment I'm hitting up Spotify to see if she's on there.

    3) Minus the crying, I'm glad you had such a great birthday! And I can relate to being excited over a vacuum cleaner. I got a new dust buster type handheld vacuum a couple of months ago and I get happy every time I use it. It has an extendable sucker thing and a flip-out brush and that thing picks up cat hair like nobody's business.

    4) Speaking of Chucks, I WILL own a white pair this year. I WILL. That, or Vans. I haven't exactly made up my mind on that one yet.

    5) If you don't post your nursery pics in about 5.8 seconds I'm going to have my own conniption fit. I wanna seeeeee.

  8. First things first, Happy belated birthday! [in my defense, I did also wish it on Instagram ON the dayy.]

    I REALLY need to see this nursery (says the lady with the 10 week old who still hasn't blogger about the nursery but let me tell you it looks pretty spectacular on this baby monitor). I love the embroidery hoops! I wanted to them for Joey but then decided they were kind of a little too girly? I don't know. I might add them.

    High five for the last week of work! Also, I might need to give you my phone number so I can get an instant update when my future daughter in law is born.

  9. Well, isn't this a grand post? :) Happy belated birthday!

    1.) Corrine Bailey Rae. YES.
    2.) I loved catching glimpses of the home and baby prep.
    3.) Huzzah for maternity leave. Mine ends as yours starts. (Sobs for days!)
    4.) You are wonderful.

  10. I love all your birthday trivia--that's precisely the kind of thing I do to Angel all the time.
    Your color-matching trait from childhood made me laugh....the trait from childhood that I fear will resurrect itself when we have kids is intense hatred of diaper bags. I continually refused to carry the diaper bag, which was probably my biggest failing as an eldest sister. I've always detested those things...I was way too cool to carry a diaper bag. I'm going to have to get one that tricks me into thinking it's not a diaper bag...

  11. Happy belated birthday and yaaaaaaay for Jamie Cullum. Gotta go get that album. And i'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only parent with an audio monitor!! (Though to be totally honest, there are times when my year and a half old {tangent- what do you call that age? am I mother to a toddler already??? seems too soon} does some crazy-ass stuff in her room and I wish I could spy via video.) What is it with strollers? I'd own six if that were in any way rational.

  12. That line about Proverbs cracked me up! I do think I read that in there somewhere, though.... Also, happy belated birthday!

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  14. I just wrote three comments and every time it disappeared. I'll be back after I refueled with coffee and doughnuts.

  15. Your parents rule. Those gifts are so personal and thoughtful. And, just so you know, those crying fits happen to me too. Sometimes it just feels good to cry, especially when I don't exactly know what's bothering me. It's just a good release. I'm happy to hear you got through your to-do list. Our's seems out of control right now, so it's my goal to be at the place where you are in 3 months. I can't believe you're already at the end. I'm so excited for you!

  16. gahhh I laughed through this whole thing. Can't wait to read your thoughts on being a mom!


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