monday morning story time

I feel like I've been initiated into a new realm of motherhood this past week. Gracie had her first round of vaccinations last week, and I did not handle it well. She was great! But I was a disaster. I brought my mom with me for moral support. That's right. I'm 26 years old and I still have to bring my mother to the doctor with me. And it wasn't even my appointment. I'm so glad she was there. When Gracie got her first shot I started crying so hard my mom had to hold me. I am pathetic.

As luck would have it, I think I picked up the plague at the doctor's office. What kind of plague is yet to be determined. It's probably just a cold, but as we all know, I need to be dramatic about it. Taking care of a baby while sick is not what I signed up for. I need my mommy, but I am the mommy. Help me, Rhonda.

On days like this, the one thing that helps me get up in the morning to nurse the baby is knowing that I can turn the tv on and watch I Love Lucy and The Andy Griffith Show while I sip my coffee. I love those shows. I grew up on them! We get approximately 7 channels, and there's a local channel that plays old shows all day long. It's the reason I'm alive. There's nothing quite like the antics of Lucille Ball to get me ready for a day of diaper changing.

Anyway, Daniel Boone comes on right after the Andy Griffith Show. Fess Parker plays Daniel Boone. I had completely forgotten all about that until I started watching it a few weeks ago, and realized that he was my Grandma's friend. I grew up hearing stories of "the man who played Daniel Boone" and seeing pictures of them together. They met at his winery ages ago. He has a winery on the central coast of California, because you're nobody in California until you have a winery. Wineries are to California what barbecue is to the south.

I never met the man, but I did visit his winery once in middle school. Wait! I think I have a picture.

Let me blow my nose again and then go look.

       The Mudd Shirt and the glittery turquoise belt. Bless my heart.

I remember that trip only due to my preteen angst and driving past Neverland Ranch, Michael Jackson's house, afterwards. My aunt's friends lived there pre-Michael Jackson, and my Grandpa helped build the train or the zoo or something after Michael Jackson bought it. My family is full of stories like these. Don't even ask about my other grandma about the multiple times she's seen John Travolta in the grocery store. The closest I've been to John Travolta is when he filmed a movie in downtown Columbus while I was giving birth in a hospital twenty minutes away.

My family is full to the brim of celebrity sighting and stories and friendships. This is what happens when you live in certain parts of California. The only story I can offer is standing behind Peter Dinklage in the Vegas airport when I was 16.

He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. Now that you have that information, please live your life accordingly.

I may not have any celebrity stories, but I can tell you stories about the Amish, and they're pretty much the celebrities of Ohio. They buy soap and Pepto Bismol at Walmart. I know this because one time I followed them. Just call me the Amish paparazzi.

Speaking of the Amish, have you seen the show Amish Mafia? James and I have been hooked on it since it started. It's completely ridiculous. One of the main people, Levi, wrote a book and I definitely did not just grab it from the library.

Definitely didn't.

And by that I mean I definitely did. But don't tell anyone. This is how I convalesce: hot tea with honey and Amish drama. The Midwestern dream.

In other news, my in-laws are coming tomorrow.

Pray for me?


  1. One of my biggest fears about motherhood is what I will do when I get sick. I'm such a selfish baby when I'm sick, and make it a point to do as little as possible and receive as much help and sympathy as I can get. I'm hoping the motherhood instinct far outweighs my instinct to curl into a ball and do nothing but sip tea, sleep, watch TV, and blow my nose all day. I laughed out loud at "the Amish are the celebrities of Ohio" because it's SO TRUE. Gotta love the Midwest.

  2. I had something of value to comment but have since forgotten it because I was distracted by 1. THE GLITTER BELT and 2. THAT PHOTO (slash all photos) of Gracie. OH MY WORD, let me squeeze that footie-pajama wearing princess!!

  3. Kelsey and I were just talking about the Amish people we saw at the Toledo Zoo, and how I shamelessly recording a video of them to send to you!

    MUDD JEANS. NEVER FORGET. I also owned A LOT of Mudd boots. As I always say, Middle School Michelle and Middle School Alissa would have been best friends.

    Now let me hold that baby.

  4. Jordan's great-uncle is the actor James Garner. Aka Maverick (Mavrick?) aka the old man in The Notebook. Which basically makes me famous like woah.

  5. Ah, tomorrow night I'm going to see some sort of musical/play about I Love Lucy and you just got me even more excited about it... love Lucille! ;) your little gal is SO cute! I'm sorry her appointment was so difficult for you but I'm sure its like that for all moms! You're strong!

  6. First of all, that mudd shirt? Pretty sure I had the same one. Along with almost every other item that Mudd clothing manufactured. Except their jeans, because they had a handprint embroidered on the back pocket and my parents thought that was too trashy for my 12 year old Catholic school self. So I had to wear l.e.i. brand jeans. Please tell me you remember those.

    I've never seen anyone famous either, but one time my Mommom went to California on vacation and saw Judge Judy at the hotel pool and I've never been more jealous.

    Finally, speaking of Amish, my parents went to Lancaster, PA this weekend to buy some handmade outdoor furniture from the Amish stores there. Except my dad forgot Amish people don't use electricity and only had $20 cash and couldn't use his credit card so they had to drive and drive and drive until they found an open bank.

    And finally, I hope you feel better. Your doctor should make house calls, so you don't have to be exposed to germs. I mean, if he found out you were Daniel Boone's friend's granddaughter, I bet you'd get the red carpet treatment.

  7. I love random awesome facts about family relatives and/or friendships! I really am impressed. Violet's middle name is Virginia, named after the first cousin and wife of Edgar Allan Poe, who is a distant relative of mine. She got married when she was like, 13, and died young so...Violet has a lot to live up to basically. And I tip my hat to you for getting sick as a mom and living to tell about it. I thought I was getting sick a few days ago and basically just told my body, "oh heck no. We are not doing this." Have you tried giving orders to your body?

  8. No one in my family has any tie to anything famous at all--probably because we're all from Michigan, so, all of our family legends relate to how eccentric everybody is and how many near-death experiences we've all had. Angel claims he talked to Whoopi Goldberg at the mall one time when he was at the mall...you Californians all have your stories of run-ins with fame...and I love hearing them. Honestly, I'm the kind of person who could walk right past a celebrity and not even notice...recognizing people is hard...

  9. I think your worries are understandable. We often do not know how these things will turn out. But constants such as proper medical services and procedures should help things get settled properly. At least the vaccination is done, and your kid can look forward to years of immunity against certain diseases. Your worries also show how much you love your little one, because you are really paying attention to the welfare of your kid. Good day!

    Angela Gibbs @ MedCare Pediatric

  10. One time I was following Amish women in Walmart and I almost ran one of them over with my shopping cart as she stood in line at the pharmacy. Then I started laughing hysterically.


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