don't trust the red van

It has been a wild and crazy week in the Bellamy household.

On Tuesday afternoon, Gracie and I left to run some errands. I was walking out to the car when I noticed a red van with two creepy guys inside. They were parked in a spot they shouldn't be in, and I knew they didn't live in my building. Something immediately felt wrong. Call it female intuition, call it indigestion, but I could just sense they were up to no good, especially since the parking lot was nearly empty and no one else was around. I got Gracie situated in her carseat, and then I climbed in the car and locked the doors. I watched them for a minute, and one guy got out of the van to nose around the dumpster and walk around a few apartments, almost as if he were casing the building.

We got back home two hours later, and I had completely forgotten about the whole ordeal and was more focused on curing the backache from wearing the Baby Bjorn around Target (fulfilling stay-at-home-mom stereotypes, one Target trip at time). I fed Gracie and put her down for a nap, and then I walked into the kitchen for 2nd lunch, because breastfeeding means you constantly feel like you haven't eaten for a week (irony!).

There's a big window off the dining room. It's right next to the front door and it looks out on the front porch. If you're standing on the front porch, you can see right past the dining room and directly into the kitchen. I was smearing some peanut butter on a piece of bread (gluten! a 2015 scandal!), when I heard a soft tapping/rattling on the front door. It wasn't necessarily a knock, but sounded more like someone was fiddling around. My heart rate skyrocketed, as it does when anyone is at the door, and I looked up to the window from my in-progress pb&j and saw one of the guys from the van STANDING ON MY FRONT PORCH. I panicked and dropped it like it's hot, falling right on the kitchen floor. I literally dropped to the floor in .2 seconds and crawled past the window into the living room to grab the baby and my phone. Had he seen me before I saw him? I have no clue. I had the keypad up on my phone and my fingers hovering over 911, until I realized that wait! Am I just overreacting here? Is he just a solicitor? But no! He looked downright creepy and unsafe. And if he were a salesman, why would he prowl about when clearly most everyone is at work? About 10 minutes later, I creeped over to the door and grabbed a golf club to use as a weapon. I slowly and silently stood up to look out the peep-hole, and he was gone. The house had been completely silent, I had been listening intently, and I never once heard him go up or down the stairs, which is a feat considering they are extremely rattly and squeaky, which means he had to have been trying to be quiet.

Was I just overreacting? Was he actually trying to break in? I have no idea. But my gut still tells me he was up to no good. A major thunderstorm rolled in right as I deemed the coast clear, which I think would've hopefully deterred any foul play. James came straight home and I stood by the door with a golf club, ready to pounce just in case. I am nothing if not an expert in home security. 

Don't mess with me. 

Thankfully, there has been no sign of the red van or the creeps ever since.

On to lighter things! Yesterday was my mom's birthday. Gracie and I threw her a little party with lots of good food and coffee and a little shopping excursion in the rain. We ended up getting lots of new clothes for the babe, as she is rapidly outgrowing everything she owns. We only got the essentials: footie pajamas with cats on them, a onesie with blue bikes, and other important things.

my pretty mom holding a newborn Gracie bug

We also scored $60 Gap sweaters for $4.99 each. I'm ready when you are, October. You can knock on my door any day and I promise not to beat you with a golf club.

Gracie and I are so worn out from all the commotion that I'm on coffee cup #3, and she fell asleep on her play mat after 15 minutes of playing with her bestie, Mr. Elephant. She's now playing with her favorite fabric book that she likes to throw on her head, and I'm going to go make 2nd breakfast. Let's hope there won't be a strange man on my porch this time. If not, look for me on Dateline. 


  1. Oh my gosh, STOP IT. ALL OF IT. Having been to your place, I can picture everything. Mostly I'm laughing at the thought of you hitting the deck in your kitchen. But SERIOUSLY- that is so scary. I don't like that at all, and I would have reacted the same way!!

    If those guys come back around you need to take Gracie and your phone and lock yourselves in the closet-ish space that holds your washer and dryer. I MEAN IT.

    Happy belated birthday to your sweet mom!!!

  2. So scary! I live in a small town but I have called the non emergency police line when I had someone knock late at night. I had them drive through my neighborhood. Maybe I was overreacting but I felt safer. Maybe you could do that next time? Or call them now and let them know about the red van.

  3. So scary! I live in a small town but I have called the non emergency police line when I had someone knock late at night. I had them drive through my neighborhood. Maybe I was overreacting but I felt safer. Maybe you could do that next time? Or call them now and let them know about the red van.

  4. Scary! Someone coming to the door when I'm home alone FREAKS ME OUT. I would have hit the floor too!

  5. Holy crap! My heart was like racing as I read this. I kept thinking WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HER?!! Then I remembered you clearly lived to write this post! ;) that is scary, though!!!! Thanks for ending the post with something light and fluffy. That's like my need to watch a Disney princess movie after enduring a horror film!! ;)

  6. One time when I was in my first year of marriage a guy knocked on my door. I stood up and the chair made a noise and by the time I put my eye to the keyhole he was getting back in his car. Freaked me out. Clearly he was trying to see if someone was he and when he heard me he bolted!!! Ugh.

  7. omg WHAT I would have probably had a panic and just died in the kitchen. seriously you were not overreacting at all. so freaky! and you own that stay at home mom stereotype! target is basically heaven on earth! #goals I tell ya. but anyways, glad you and your sweet babe are safe!!
    xo, Candace | Lovely Little Rants

  8. My heart started racing as I read that story about the creepy van people! I am so impressed that you had a golf club at the ready. When I lived by myself I saw a creepy man outside and rigged up a booby trap that consisted of spoons and a cookie sheet. In my mind then that was brilliant but I'm not sure that would've scared a criminal.

    Love the great deal on those sweaters! I hope fall comes early this year so you can use them asap! :)

  9. Smart move with the golf club. Once, there was a creepy guy in our neighborhood, and mom had to go to school and leave us (teens/preteens) at home alone for a few hours...we stacked our entire collection of baseball bats just inside the front door. We felt ready for anything, haha!


    Also I'm glad you didn't actually have to use the golf club.

  11. Terrifying. I wonder if there's a mommy and me self defence class out there? I can't decide if I would have banged on the window to let the guy know I could see him or called Karl in tears asking him what to do and to please come home ASAP. I would not have gone for the golf course. On second thought, maybe you could teach a mommy and me self defence course.

    High five for cheap things!

    And the multiple breakfasts is real. I'm on my second right now and it's chocolate cake. Breastfeeding and all that.


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