I remember showing my mom an instagram feed a few years ago where every single picture was of the woman's kid. I rolled my eyes. So annoying. I would never do that.
I scrolled through my own instagram feed a few weeks ago, and nearly every single picture was of my kid.
I had a baby, and suddenly that's who my life revolves around. She's attached to me 24/7. I don't go to work anymore. I have to feed her every two hours. There's not much room in my life for anything else until nap time, when I war with myself to decide if I should nap too or do the dishes or the laundry or clean the bathroom or read a book or knit or email a friend or blog or take a shower or watch Gilmore Girls for the 4th time or cook dinner or finally clean out that closet or meal plan or...or...or.
My baby is my life right now. She won't fully consume me in this way forever; it's just a season. She won't always be this dependent on me, but right now, she is. She nurses, she naps in my arms and wakes up smiling, she plays on the floor next to me, she screams in her crib while I sit on the floor outside her room praying she'll fall asleep.
I used to get annoyed when people suddenly switched to mom-mode. A blogger I had loved would have a baby and then suddenly the blog would shift from funny anecdotes to baby stats and milestones, and I would eventually stop reading. It happened over and over again. And now I find myself following suit. Sort of.
I started my blog in the fall of 2011. I was freshly married and in a job that was so stressful it made me sick. I started my blog to write about my life, my thoughts, and funny anecdotes. I needed an outlet. I still need this outlet. I wanted a public journal I could use as a means to build relationships with others, and that's exactly what I've done. Blogging has changed immensely over the years and is possibly beginning to fizzle out, but I still need my blog. I need this outlet. My life is just a little different now.
The purpose of my blog hasn't changed: to write. To tell stories. To write whatever I want, whenever I want. But life changes, and instead of writing about my coworkers, I'm writing about my baby. Instead of instagramming a trip or a concert or my cat, it will probably be baby-related. It's just another method of telling stories, most involving the little girl who inherited my dimples. I know there will probably be people who feel the way I used to feel: annoyed with another blogger-turned-mother who cares about nothing but her kid. I understand. But at the end of the day, my blog is still my outlet to story-tell, and my life has dramatically changed since most of my readers found me.
I don't normally feel the need to write things like this and defend myself, but I needed to this time. I needed to clear the air and acknowledge that yes, I used to be a little snarky toward mommy bloggers, but I understand them a little better now. I don't want to use my blog as a way to update the world on how much my kid weighed at her last appointment--I have a journal for that--but to share vignettes of our life together. My instagram feed might have a lot more baby pictures, but that's my stage of life right now. I used to find long instagram captions annoying, and I still kind of do, but sometimes it's fun to share an anecdote without writing a whole blog post on it. That little bit of interaction is fun when I don't see a lot of other adults these days. Just think of what my coworkers used to endure when I would pop up over the cubes to share a story.
So that's my little blogging manifesto. Even if blogging fizzles out, I don't plan on going anywhere. I like to write actual words and paragraphs and stories, not just share pictures of clothes and vacations and white rooms. I still don't and have no plans to ever write sponsored posts. I'm not a mommy-blogger sharing monthly baby updates, but I am going to write about my baby. I'm also going to write about the books and music I love and about the creepy guys who I thought were trying to break-in. I don't want the overall theme of this blog to change, but I also don't want to feel guilty for writing about the kid because I used to feel annoyed when every other blog turned into a baby party.
I'm glad I got that off my chest. I feel better now!
And, on the very off chance you want to hear more motherhood thoughts, I wrote a post for The Kindred Woman today on the first 3 months of motherhood. It's a little ditty on important things like post-partum depression and cat leggings.