7.13.2015

the shift



I remember showing my mom an instagram feed a few years ago where every single picture was of the woman's kid. I rolled my eyes. So annoying. I would never do that.

I scrolled through my own instagram feed a few weeks ago, and nearly every single picture was of my kid.

I had a baby, and suddenly that's who my life revolves around. She's attached to me 24/7. I don't go to work anymore. I have to feed her every two hours. There's not much room in my life for anything else until nap time, when I war with myself to decide if I should nap too or do the dishes or the laundry or clean the bathroom or read a book or knit or email a friend or blog or take a shower or watch Gilmore Girls for the 4th time or cook dinner or finally clean out that closet or meal plan or...or...or.

My baby is my life right now. She won't fully consume me in this way forever; it's just a season. She won't always be this dependent on me, but right now, she is. She nurses, she naps in my arms and wakes up smiling, she plays on the floor next to me, she screams in her crib while I sit on the floor outside her room praying she'll fall asleep.

I used to get annoyed when people suddenly switched to mom-mode. A blogger I had loved would have a baby and then suddenly the blog would shift from funny anecdotes to baby stats and milestones, and I would eventually stop reading. It happened over and over again. And now I find myself following suit. Sort of.

I started my blog in the fall of 2011. I was freshly married and in a job that was so stressful it made me sick. I started my blog to write about my life, my thoughts, and funny anecdotes. I needed an outlet. I still need this outlet. I wanted a public journal I could use as a means to build relationships with others, and that's exactly what I've done. Blogging has changed immensely over the years and is possibly beginning to fizzle out, but I still need my blog. I need this outlet. My life is just a little different now.

The purpose of my blog hasn't changed: to write. To tell stories. To write whatever I want, whenever I want. But life changes, and instead of writing about my coworkers, I'm writing about my baby. Instead of instagramming a trip or a concert or my cat, it will probably be baby-related. It's just another method of telling stories, most involving the little girl who inherited my dimples. I know there will probably be people who feel the way I used to feel: annoyed with another blogger-turned-mother who cares about nothing but her kid. I understand. But at the end of the day, my blog is still my outlet to story-tell, and my life has dramatically changed since most of my readers found me.

I don't normally feel the need to write things like this and defend myself, but I needed to this time. I needed to clear the air and acknowledge that yes, I used to be a little snarky toward mommy bloggers, but I understand them a little better now. I don't want to use my blog as a way to update the world on how much my kid weighed at her last appointment--I have a journal for that--but to share vignettes of our life together. My instagram feed might have a lot more baby pictures, but that's my stage of life right now. I used to find long instagram captions annoying, and I still kind of do, but sometimes it's fun to share an anecdote without writing a whole blog post on it. That little bit of interaction is fun when I don't see a lot of other adults these days. Just think of what my coworkers used to endure when I would pop up over the cubes to share a story.

So that's my little blogging manifesto. Even if blogging fizzles out, I don't plan on going anywhere. I like to write actual words and paragraphs and stories, not just share pictures of clothes and vacations and white rooms. I still don't and have no plans to ever write sponsored posts. I'm not a mommy-blogger sharing monthly baby updates, but I am going to write about my baby. I'm also going to write about the books and music I love and about the creepy guys who I thought were trying to break-in. I don't want the overall theme of this blog to change, but I also don't want to feel guilty for writing about the kid because I used to feel annoyed when every other blog turned into a baby party.

I'm glad I got that off my chest. I feel better now!

And, on the very off chance you want to hear more motherhood thoughts, I wrote a post for The Kindred Woman today on the first 3 months of motherhood. It's a little ditty on important things like post-partum depression and cat leggings.

20 comments:

  1. Did you just crawl into my head and borrow some of my thoughts? Well said. I feel the same way about needing to post an apology on my Instagram feed because ew, who wants to see that many pictures of a baby? But then I realize that someone does and, more importantly, I want to. So that's that.

    I love that we're in the same season of life and that you're writing about it so much. It makes those late night breastfeeding sessions that much better.

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  2. So.... this will probably be me in a month :) Or who knows? Maybe not. But I like your blog! I'm glad I found you. I feel like we are somehow kindred spirits, and if you don't feel the same SORRY BUT IT'S HAPPENING. As long as I don't get us matching friendship bracelets I can stay on the non-creepy side of the line, yes?

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    1. I just want to take full credit for this friendship, ok? Hope everyone is good with that :)

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  3. I found your blog just as your daughter was born so I have only known you as a "mommy blogger" (or, I should probably say, a blogger who is a mother). I am not a mother, and am nowhere near ready to have a baby (although, someday, I hope it's in the cards) but I still love reading your words. You have such a knack for writing the truth of your experiences in a sometimes funny, sometimes thought-provoking way and that comes through as more than just posts about baby-stuff. I very much look forward to your posts! Thanks for writing!

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  4. I personally love all the baby posts because not only do I know and love you but hearing your stories about Gracie and mommy-hood gives me hope. I feel like we are really similar in our personalities, so it makes me feel comforted when I hear how you are dealing with the ups and downs of parenting! I've struggled a lot of knowing that even though I will eventually want a kid, I run scared at the thought of having one. Your words have eased my anxiety in that area so much!

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  5. I have always loved your blog posts- regardless of what you were writing about- because they are written by YOU. Whether it is paragraphs upon paragraphs about PFF, goaticorns, Gracie, or Benedict Cumberbatch- I'll be here reading as long as you're here writing.

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  6. I love your posts. I think your way of telling stories is hilarious, whether it's a story about work or motherhood or just randomness. Don't stop writing! :)

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  7. Oh I hear you, a thousand times, yes. Life completely shifted with the birth of my daughter, but there's no shame in that! I love sharing photos of my kids. They're my life right now.

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  8. Remember when I would make fun of chambray shirts any chance I got, and now I wear one any chance I get?

    Remember when I went on vacation and you wrote a guest post (on your own blog!) about RHOBH?

    It's crazy how things change, but this - everything you write about here - is such a good change. I'll keep coming back again and again, but I think you already knew that :)

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  9. I am ready to take pictures of my kid on instagram. WAHHHHHHHHHH

    Also, I love your blog and you and your thoughts. Everyone changes, not everyone changes with you. It's okay.

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    1. Oh that is so true. And I love that thought.

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  10. I love your blog no matter what you're writing... but I think I've already told you that about a dozen and a half times ;) I think I snark on mommy blogs sometimes who ONLY copy/write what every other mom blog does. The stats, the things I NEED for my 3 month old, etc. It just doesn't feel genuine to me. However every single thing you write is real, beautiful and from the heart. So write away my friend!! :)

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  11. I LOVE YOU! And I love your sweet baby! And everything, EVERTHING you write and say if the FUNNIEST, no matter what/who it is about. NEVER ever ever everrrrrr change. <3 seasons come and go and we change with them, no matter how slow or fast.

    P.S. Can't wait to see you again soon. :) :) :)

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  12. I LOVE YOU! And I love your sweet baby! And everything, EVERTHING you write and say if the FUNNIEST, no matter what/who it is about. NEVER ever ever everrrrrr change. <3 seasons come and go and we change with them, no matter how slow or fast.

    P.S. Can't wait to see you again soon. :) :) :)

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  13. I LOVE YOU! And I love your sweet baby! And everything, EVERTHING you write and say if the FUNNIEST, no matter what/who it is about. NEVER ever ever everrrrrr change. <3 seasons come and go and we change with them, no matter how slow or fast.

    P.S. Can't wait to see you again soon. :) :) :)

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  14. Your guest post gave me chills! It is all so true, and you said it all so beautifully. I can't believe how much I have learned in the past few months of being a mom. And I love my baby girl so much it makes me sick, too. It kind of scares me. And this post: yep. I have a draft right now talking about some similar things. I need writing to keep my sanity, even if it will involve a little more Baby than my former self might have foreseen. You keep doing your thing. I still love your blog.

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  15. I've never been the type that gets annoyed by baby pictures or baby stories. Why be annoyed? I mean, honestly, most of the time babies/toddlers are more photogenic than adults anyways. And kids make the awesomest stories. I'm not even a mom and I still tell stories about my awesome baby sister and baby nephew and about kids that I babysit all the time. These little ones are a great source of awesome, totally random anecdotes.

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  16. I completely understand this. I cringe at the fact that I just wrote something for my blog that has the words breastfeeding and pushing in it, but I feel like they have their place now. I love your motherhood posts. I read them during nap time. Yours is one of the only blogs I am making time to read right now. Also, your post on Kindred Women was awesome!

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