11.10.2015

let's take bets on what I'll destroy next

Yesterday morning I dressed myself in my best flannel, put a bow in Gracie's hair, and hauled us off the library. On the way, I decided to use my Starbucks gift card and grab something to drink. As I pulled away from the drive-through window, I looked down for a split second to change the music, when I heard a screeeeeeeeching sound that made me slam on the breaks. I looked up to see I had driven the passenger side mirror straight into a brick pillar. I had driven MAYBE 6 inches. The car had barely been rolling. I thought it was going completely straight, but evidently the wheel had been slightly turned. In true Michelle fashion, I froze and panicked and stared at the brick pillar before me, until I realized I needed to back up in order to leave. I put the car in reverse and realized the car wouldn't move. I panicked some more. I was stuck! Sweat was pouring off me and I tried to reassure Gracie that everything would be ok, even though she was perfectly calm and I was the one hyperventilating. Worse than hitting the pillar was the fact that there was a line of cars behind me and a full parking lot around me. I was not short on an audience. I looked at the dash and realized the car had been in neutral, hence my inability to move it. The line of cars behind me backed up one by one to give me room, and I backed up, and very, very carefully drove away and parked far from prying eyes to inspect the damage. The mirror is a little scuffed, but that's it. My pride and dignity are far more injured than the car.

We grabbed a book at the library and headed home. About thirty minutes after we got home, I got an email that Mindy's new book, which I've been waiting on for months, was ready to be picked up. Of course! The thought of carrying the baby out to the car and buckling her in the carseat, taking her out of the carseat, carrying her through the library, putting her back in the carseat, taking her out, and carrying her up the flight of stairs to the front door all over again was just not going to happen. Also, I wasn't sure I trusted myself to drive again. Instead, I put G down for a nap.

Thirty minutes later, as I was making a sandwich, she woke up hollering. And she continued to cry and fuss for the rest of the day. My happy baby has been refusing to nap for more than 30 minutes for at least a week. The longest nap I've gotten from her lately has been 45 minutes. I don't think I need to explain that I've been starting to lose my mind, and lose it badly. The lack of sleep was catching up with her, and nothing would make her happy. My mom was in town for an appointment and brought a coffee over. I handed the baby to her and begged her to please take her home for the night. I need the opportunity to miss her again. I'm burned out. I can't listen to that high-pitched whine for one more second without flinging myself out the window, especially since I can't recharge during her naptimes since they aren't happening. If she would take a darn bottle, I would've sent G off for her first sleepover. Thankfully, she took a little power nap and woke up a completely different baby. She was smiling and giggling as I got her up, and was completely charming and wonderful until bedtime. I rocked her before bed and sang her Amazing Grace and Silent Night as she smiled and ripped my glasses off my face. It was wonderful.

Once the baby was asleep, I curled up on the couch with a bowl of soup to watch Nick Carter on Dancing with the Stars, and I have no shame in admitting this. I ended up spilling my drink all over the couch, me, and a book. I sighed in frustration as I didn't realize the full extent of the situation until I tried to turn up the volume only to realize the remote had been soaked and was no longer functioning. All but the volume buttons seem to be functioning this morning, even though I accidentally hit the remote off the coffee table, causing it to flip through the air and nosedive straight into my plate of scrambled eggs. On top of that, I was flipping through a book I just finished, looking for a specific paragraph, when I thought "I need to hit Control + F to find this," until I realized I was holding a physical book and not on a computer. Let's all hope and pray Gracie starts napping again soon, because I think it's clear I could use one too.



11 comments:

  1. oh lord, this is bringing me right back to when my darling terrorist of a daughter didn't nap. girl, my little one didn't nap for more than 45-minute stretches her whole life until she was 9.5 months old and started walking. and that's not mom exaggeration, that's real, she really didn't nap for longer than that except on a rare occasion. when she started walking, we started to get a couple hour stretches out of her, but that time nearly drove me insane. so you're entitled to drop a few things and go a little crazy. i'm right there with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my goodness, I'm so glad I'm not the only one. How did you survive?? The longest I've gotten since her newborn days is an hour and a half, and that is a rare thing. She napped just over an hour today and I felt like I had won the lottery. These people who have babies who take several 2-3 hour naps are currently my enemies (not really...but kind of).

      Delete
  2. Oh, girl, I am sorry! I don't even have to be tired for all of those things to happen to me. I hope Gracie starts taking longer naps for you! You are like a super woman to me, not sure how you do it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you!! Today is a better day and I'm so glad. Love you, Jo!

      Delete
  3. Reuben does not nap at all unless he is attached to my body. I am not kidding. Unless he is physically touching me he will wake up within 5 minutes when I put him down. It is not funny. Luckily when he falls asleep he can't tell Daddy isn't me and will nap quite happily on him. He will nap in his carrier for 1-2 hours only I can't bend over or knit very well while baby wearing so................... this is my life. I hope he learns how to nap on his own soon. And I try at lease once a day to put him "down" after he falls asleep after 15 min in a bed or his cosleeper....and no. It does not happen. My current frustration is that Reuben has decided he does not want to nurse and will instead scream when I try to nurse. He did this for FOUR DAYS. and he lost weight too. And when I finally decided to FREAK out, he nursed all day on the 5th day. Now he's doing it again and I am just done. Done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nursing strike?!?! Gracie has been through a couple of them for no obvious reason and they are SO STRESSFUL. I am so sorry! It will pass, I promise. Those are the days I cry all day long.

      It took awhile to get Gracie to nap alone in her crib. Now it's the only place she'll nap, which is both a blessing and a curse.

      Delete
  4. Hahah you crack me up!! Thanks for being so real and hilarious! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  5. Im all about Bindi and Derek ;D and my little sister (14) literally had the cliche teenage reaction and cried when Hayes Grier got voted off LOL I totally understand though. Ben only naps on me (hard but at least he's napping) and he HAD been "sleeping through the night" meaning he would only wake up to eat without opening his eyes and then immediately fall back asleep. However he decided on the night before I was to have surgery and also woke with a cough and sore throat that he would like to wake up for real at 3:30 am. I wanted to die a little. Hope little girl gives you a break soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Despite my undying love for Nick, I'm rooting hard for Bindi and Derek! I had never even heard of Hayes until this show.

      Ugh, Ben!!! That sucks so much. Praying for a smooth recovery! You're a champ for having surgery while taking care of a newborn. I think that would've killed me.

      Delete
  6. What is wrong with the babies right now? SERIOUSLY. Parker has been napping for no more than 45 minutes at a time for a while, but lately some of his naps have been shrinking to 30 minutes and it's not enough. He wakes up so angry and tired and there's nothing I can do about it. That night at Grandma's sounds pretty appealing.

    Have you tried giving Gracie a sippy cup? I know that some kids won't take bottles but will take sippy cups instead. Can you even imagine the freedom of a night away? And, let's be honest, the anxiety?

    On the bright side, you didn't hit someone else's car. And hopefully it was only strangers in line. Ugh.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I don't even know where to start!

    I've hit things with my car and the sound has always been worse than the damage! I once hit a bird (or did it hit me?) and was convinced it destroyed my front bumper. There wasn't even a dent.

    I spill on myself ALL OF THE TIME. I want a new chair for my living room, but then I won't be able to spill on it and not care.

    I want to come hang out with you and G and your mom!

    ReplyDelete

Talk to me! If your email is linked to your account, I'll respond to you via email. If not, I'll respond to you right here.