Yesterday morning I dressed myself in my best flannel, put a bow in Gracie's hair, and hauled us off the library. On the way, I decided to use my Starbucks gift card and grab something to drink. As I pulled away from the drive-through window, I looked down for a split second to change the music, when I heard a screeeeeeeeching sound that made me slam on the breaks. I looked up to see I had driven the passenger side mirror straight into a brick pillar. I had driven MAYBE 6 inches. The car had barely been rolling. I thought it was going completely straight, but evidently the wheel had been slightly turned. In true Michelle fashion, I froze and panicked and stared at the brick pillar before me, until I realized I needed to back up in order to leave. I put the car in reverse and realized the car wouldn't move. I panicked some more. I was stuck! Sweat was pouring off me and I tried to reassure Gracie that everything would be ok, even though she was perfectly calm and I was the one hyperventilating. Worse than hitting the pillar was the fact that there was a line of cars behind me and a full parking lot around me. I was not short on an audience. I looked at the dash and realized the car had been in neutral, hence my inability to move it. The line of cars behind me backed up one by one to give me room, and I backed up, and very, very carefully drove away and parked far from prying eyes to inspect the damage. The mirror is a little scuffed, but that's it. My pride and dignity are far more injured than the car.
We grabbed a book at the library and headed home. About thirty minutes after we got home, I got an email that Mindy's new book, which I've been waiting on for months, was ready to be picked up. Of course! The thought of carrying the baby out to the car and buckling her in the carseat, taking her out of the carseat, carrying her through the library, putting her back in the carseat, taking her out, and carrying her up the flight of stairs to the front door all over again was just not going to happen. Also, I wasn't sure I trusted myself to drive again. Instead, I put G down for a nap.
Thirty minutes later, as I was making a sandwich, she woke up hollering. And she continued to cry and fuss for the rest of the day. My happy baby has been refusing to nap for more than 30 minutes for at least a week. The longest nap I've gotten from her lately has been 45 minutes. I don't think I need to explain that I've been starting to lose my mind, and lose it badly. The lack of sleep was catching up with her, and nothing would make her happy. My mom was in town for an appointment and brought a coffee over. I handed the baby to her and begged her to please take her home for the night. I need the opportunity to miss her again. I'm burned out. I can't listen to that high-pitched whine for one more second without flinging myself out the window, especially since I can't recharge during her naptimes since they aren't happening. If she would take a darn bottle, I would've sent G off for her first sleepover. Thankfully, she took a little power nap and woke up a completely different baby. She was smiling and giggling as I got her up, and was completely charming and wonderful until bedtime. I rocked her before bed and sang her Amazing Grace and Silent Night as she smiled and ripped my glasses off my face. It was wonderful.
Once the baby was asleep, I curled up on the couch with a bowl of soup to watch Nick Carter on Dancing with the Stars, and I have no shame in admitting this. I ended up spilling my drink all over the couch, me, and a book. I sighed in frustration as I didn't realize the full extent of the situation until I tried to turn up the volume only to realize the remote had been soaked and was no longer functioning. All but the volume buttons seem to be functioning this morning, even though I accidentally hit the remote off the coffee table, causing it to flip through the air and nosedive straight into my plate of scrambled eggs. On top of that, I was flipping through a book I just finished, looking for a specific paragraph, when I thought "I need to hit Control + F to find this," until I realized I was holding a physical book and not on a computer. Let's all hope and pray Gracie starts napping again soon, because I think it's clear I could use one too.