11.13.2015

scenes from a hard day

There are some weeks where I wonder if I'm being filmed, because everything just goes so terribly wrong. I can't seem to hold a good mood longer than 5 minutes before disaster strikes again. This week has been one of those weeks. Every day has been so awful, to the point that spilling my dinner all over the floor tonight led to me crying in the laundry room. There were high wind warnings, and all day long it was as dark as 5pm. It was cold, wet, blustery, and a day straight from Wuthering Heights. Most days like this I would stay home and hunker down, but I've skipped too many social functions and hunkered down enough this week, so my mom came and we went out to lunch. It has been such a terrible week for us both that we desperately wanted, nay, needed a fun day. I just wanted to have a day to get my mind off all the stressful, crappy things going on. We ate at one of our favorite places; it's where we took Gracie on her first lunch outing, and today she sat in a high chair there for the first time. I felt myself slowly unwind as we sat in a quiet spot by the fireplace and ate our tomato soup and sandwiches while Gracie played with a rattle and chewed on some sourdough. 

A few minutes into our meal, a group of five or six boisterous women took the table next to us. They were dressed in stilettos and pant suits and had very important opinions on very important things. They shouted and ranted and raved about Donald Trump and immigration and George Bush. They made fun of ex-husbands and their fathers' trophy wives. They quoted books and each one thought they had the answer to fix the world's problems. Mom and I tried to talk, but we couldn't even hear each other over the Democratic Convention next to us, and the heat from the fireplace started to make me feel feverish. They finally left, and they took what little energy I had with them. I felt as drained and exhausted as if I had been a part of the conversation. On top of it, I had been fighting a massive headache like I've never had before. It wasn't quite a migraine, but the lights were bothering me and I started to feel queasy. Mom had to run a quick errand on the way home, and I felt too awful to go in with her, so I sat in the car with the baby trying to keep my head from spontaneously combusting. 

As we were waiting, I heard the telltale sounds of a diaper being filled. I debated changing her in the car, but we were so close to home and mom was almost done. When we got home, I rushed Gracie to her room to survey the damage, and it was the worst I've ever seen. I think it might have even been in her hair? Short of renting a power washer, I had no choice but to put her in the bath tub, which she did not tolerate. I was holding her with both hands, but she flung herself so violently she bonked her head on the tub. I panicked and scooped her up. She was more scared and tired than hurt, but she couldn't calm down, and the only thing to do was wrap her in a towel, rock her, and let her nurse. I didn't even have a chance to put a diaper on her before she peed all over me. Twice. 

During all of this, my mom had gone downstairs to look for medicine to keep her from throwing up, since she was feeling sick as well. She came upstairs a little later to find one of us naked, one of us stripped down to her underwear, and both of us crying. She gave me a smile, hugged me, and we laughed, because sometimes there is nothing else you can do. But, on the bright side, I temporarily forgot about my headache.

13 comments:

  1. Aw, Michelle! Wishing I lived closer to bring you some comfort food, a hug, and watch Gracie for you! Love you, girl.

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    1. That would be amazing. Love you too!

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  2. I feel you lady! This week has been a doozy around here too. I'm wondering how I'm going to get through these newborn days with 3 kids, it seems impossible. At least the hard times seem to help make the good times sweeter.

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  3. "Close the laundry door..." - you
    "Keep your clothes on, I got all that I can take (bc if you pee on me one more time, that's it!)." - you

    THIS SONG FEELS V APPROPRIATE RIGHT NOW.

    Oh, Michelle, what a day! The weather has been crazy here, too. I don't know what gives. I want a quiet snowfall, you know? I know you know :) Here's to hoping your weekend is relaxing!

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  4. i am sending you all the good vibes for good naps and no blowouts and some restful time for you. i remember those days so vividly, that half the time i expect Amelia to revert back to an infant and I'm often surprised when she doesn't. big hugs.

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    1. Thank you! This too shall pass, right?

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  5. This too shall pass. Until then, plan your getaway.

    On the bright side, Gracie isn't constipated.

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  6. Oh man, I feel for you reading this! The obnoxious ladies at the restaurant would've been enough to put me over the edge, let alone everything else you had working against you! I hope you have a calm weekend filled with good coffee, naps, and some laughs!!!

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  7. I understand so much that I almost cried when reading this

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  8. Well shoot. This is kind of terrible. Thankfully soon Christmas music will be on the radio! There is hope :)

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  9. I've had the days that are so, so, so awful that at some point you just burst into hysterical laughter because there's nothing else you can do.

    The most vivid one that comes to mind is once when my whole family was in the USA, and temporarily living with my aunt and uncle because obviously we don't have a USA home...so there were a total of 10 kids and 4 parents living in a three bedroom, 2 bathroom home. Sunday morning, my Dad has to speak at a church, we get the news that Grandma's been admitted to the hospital with her heart acting crazy, breakfast was a disaster of crying toddlers and stale cereal, Dad still has to speak at church, we all arrive at the church, paste on our best "meet dozens of strangers" smiles, get into our row at the front, reserved for the speaker's family of course, and my uncle sits down with us and promptly spills his cup of coffee all over the pew and the floor. And the ginormous family of the church speaker burst into hysterical, unstoppable laughter and we barely make it through the service alive. And people wonder why my family hates visiting the USA...

    Just sayin' we all have those days. It's good to write the stories of days like that so that you can tell them later, in all the glory of their ridiculous tragedy.

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  10. Oh man! That sounds like an awful week - I hope this week is better! I had to laugh at your description of "the Democratic Convention" table though - ha!

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