and everyone told me it would be the baby that kept me up at night
Sleep and I have become the best of frenemies. I won't bore you with our sordid past, but we've been playing a game of cat and mouse with each other lately. Last week I was excruciatingly tired. Since James had to work all day Saturday, I made the executive decision that I would put off the laundry and nap during Gracie's afternoon nap. I'm not a napper, but I could feel in my bones that I would be asleep in 30 seconds.
Well, Gracie didn't nap. Upon further inspection, she had a tooth breaking through the gums, and bless her heart, I don't think I would've been able to nap either if I were her. I'm sure it also had nothing to do with the fact that our neighbors blasted the likes of Amy Winehouse and Kenny Chesney all day long. Every time I pounded on the wall, it just got louder. I've had Rehab stuck in my head since Saturday afternoon. It was so loud I could hear every word and instrumental nuance of the music. I'm not going to say I held my crying baby up to our shared wall at one point, but I'm also not going to say I didn't. After 8 long hours of comforting a teething baby during the rave next door, she finally fell asleep for the night. I thought I would do the same, until the loud music turned into a full-fledged party in which I can only imagine they were trying to relive their college frat days. I seethed while I made dinner by candlelight, since our kitchen lights had gone out the night before, and texted James that if I'm not home when he gets back from work, it's because I'm in the local jail.
James and I can't even talk about that day without shuddering.
I've been doing a little better with sleep this past week. A few months ago, I started charging my phone at night on the other side of the room so I don't mindlessly scroll or play hours of Words With Friends with my dad. I've been reading Little Women and then peacefully falling asleep, as long as our fan is able to block out the noise of the neighbor's tv every night from 9-12 pm. I don't know what they've been watching, but there are a lot of explosions involved. Our landlord can be expecting a strongly-worded email this morning.
Last night, after a few chapters of Little Women, I fell fast asleep between tv explosions. I was knee-deep in a dream that GIANT BALLS OF ICE were flying through the windows, and I was trying to protect Gracie while screaming for my dad, except no sound would come out of my mouth, when the shaking bed shook me back to reality. James told me I needed to get out of bed, and I was about to claw his eyeballs out for waking me up in the middle of the night and kicking me out of bed.
And then I heard it.
The alarm on his phone was going off, and it had fallen behind? in? under? the bed. I'm still not sure exactly what happened, because I was still trying to discern if there were, in fact, giant balls of ice flying through the windows. All I know is that his jingling phone had disappeared into the giant abyss of our enclosed bed frame. I grabbed my pillow and moved to the floor while James had to literally rip the mattress and boxspring off the bed in search of his phone.
I laid on the floor whisper-shouting at him for kicking me out of bed IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, like he was doing it for fun.
"HOW DARE YOU."
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?"
"IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, JAMES."
"Michelle, it's 5:30 in the morning."
"EXACTLY. It's the middle of the night." I said, disregarding the fact that in my pre-baby days I would've been running on the treadmill at the gym at this time.
I was just happy he didn't wake up the baby until I heard her stirring in her crib.
She eventually went back to sleep, and so did I, five minutes before she woke up for the day. I've read that you can tell a person's character by how they handle things like lost luggage and untangling christmas lights. I've dealt with those things more than once and survived, but nothing tests my character quite like the loss of sleep. So far, I've failed every test.
But I will not be beat! I put on a She & Him record while I made breakfast, and there's bread dough rising to have with dinner tonight.
Now hopefully that jackhammer outside will stop so one or both of us can take a morning nap.