My best friend Annabelle has started blogging about her life, so I thought I would try it too. I know my mom tells you about me sometimes, but I think it's important that you get the full story. Here's what a day in my life looks like.
6:19-I'm awake! I'm awake! And I don't care who knows it! It must be early, because daddy is getting me up instead of mommy. He changes me and lays me next to mom in bed so I can get started on the first of several breakfasts.
6:40-Might as well have 2nd breakfast too while I'm here.
7:00-I'm still whining, so daddy puts me back in the crib and tells me to try to get a little more sleep. I don't.
7:45-Mother finally rescues me from my wooden cage. She takes me downstairs and we look outside at the snow that fell overnight. I giggle because snow always makes me laugh. She puts me on the floor with my talking picnic basket and I'm so excited. She curls up on the couch with a purple mug. I don't know why she loves that thing so much. It doesn't even talk!
8:14-I could go for third breakfast right about now. I don't know why, but I'm extremely hungry today. Mom says she can tell I'm growing again, whatever that means. Afterwards, I play my favorite game of sticking my hands in momma's mouth and giggling. I wonder if she loves it as much as I do?
8:32-I'm plopped into the high chair and given a handful of banana puffs. I practice my pterodactyl impressions. I'm getting quite good. I have oatmeal for breakfast, but I'm more interested in playing with the spoon than eating.
8:47: I'm put back on the floor with my toys and I don't appreciate it. I call for momma until she sits down with me and reads to me.
9:09: I play with (read: terrorize) the cat.
9:15-Momma puts me down for a nap and tells me to sleep as long as I can. Rude.
10:51-Fetch me, mother! I'm awake! Momma comes in and we play peekaboo with my blankets. I point to my raindrop mobile and squeal when mom blows on it to make it move. She gets me dressed and puts my socks on, which I immediately pull off. Isn't that what you're supposed to do with socks?
11:00-Snack time! I'm famished. I flip through Goodnight Moon while mom puts her makeup on. SOUND THE ALARMS! SOUND THE ALARMS! I can't see mom in the bathroom! She peeks her head out from behind the door and I reach for her to come save me from my moment of terror. She tells me I'm giving her a headache. What's a headache? I bet it's fun.
11:34-I'm screaming again. It has been ACTUAL MINUTES since I've eaten. How does she expect me to go on like this? Mom shares her banana with me. I am still not satisfied. I see her pull the sweet potato puffs out of the pantry. Finally you get it, mother.
11:43-MORE PUFFS, MOTHER.
11:59-Lunch time! Mom said she might as well feed me lunch if I won't stop snacking. I eat chicken, almost half a zucchini, and a squeezy pouch of fruit. Mom looks shocked. I told you I was hungry, woman. I let her know I'm finished by throwing the rest of my food on the floor.
12:30-Mom took me to Target. It's snowing and she's making me wear a hat, which I do not agree with. A lady says hi to me in the diaper aisle and I start to panic. I clutch mom's car keys for comfort. We stroll through the aisles, and I watch mom sneakily slide some easter candy into the cart. I ask for everything. I don't get everything, but momma does buy me some snacks and an Easter/birthday dress. I'm temporarily satisfied. A lady compliments my hair and I start to cry.
1:17-Mom says we're on the way to the library. I respond by pulling my socks off in the carseat.
1:35-We're home, and it's snack time. Once I'm done, I go through mom's purse when she isn't looking. She gives me a teething wafer and I think I love it.
2:07-IT'S LAUNDRY TIME!!! Mom puts me on the big bed with a basket of laundry. I go wild pulling it all out. I get so excited I nearly hyperventilate when I watch mom fold clothes. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE.
2:19-I have been put down for a nap. I am horrified, appalled, and offended. I'll be writing my senator regarding this grave human rights injustice.
2:56-Still not asleep.
3:03-Mom comes in to rock me, feed me, and sing to me while I stick my fingers in her mouth. Was that too much to ask? Wait...mom...where are you going?
3:29-Nope, still not gonna happen, mother dear.
4:51-I accidentally fell asleep! Daddy gets me up and it was the most delightful surprise. Mommy feeds me and we snuggle, and then I resume my favorite activity of pointing at pictures on the wall.
5:34-Daddy gives me pasta for dinner while momma hides in another room. After dinner, daddy gives me a bath. I used to be terrified of my baths, but now I love them. Mommy visits for a minute and we play with my rubber duckies. Life is amazing and wonderful.
6:15-I'm in my hot chocolate jammies and watching the news with daddy while mommy eats snacks in the kitchen. She comes back in and feeds me, and we have tickle fights.
7:00-The crib again? What did I do to deserve this? I protest for a minute, but I'm too tired to keep pretending I'm not tired.
7:41-I woke up to cry for a minute just to let mom and dad know I'm still not happy about this. Just my way of reminding them I could wake up at any time, for any reason, and demand their presence. Never let them get too comfortable.