3.30.2016

a first birthday



Yesterday someone turned one, and it wasn't me. I woke up a little after 3:00 yesterday morning, just a few minutes before Gracie officially turned one. In keeping with last year's tradition, I was in excruciating pain. I don't want to write the words "clogged milk ducts" on my blog, but clogged milk ducts. After an hour, I finally managed to doze off despite the pain, but then Gracie was crying every 30 minutes until James got her up around 6:30. By that time, I had been hit with full body aches and a fever.

If this had been any other day, I would've cancelled all my plans and begged James to stay home from work. Mastitis had hit out of the blue and it felt like I had been hit with the flu. I felt like I couldn't even take care of myself, let alone the baby too. But we had plans, so out of sheer force of will, I got us ready. I put Gracie in the little blue dress I wore on my first birthday and we left to visit my parents  in their current house one last time. I walked in to a maze of cardboard boxes and strangers milling around, packing up the last few remaining things. It was mildly traumatizing. Gracie had the best day playing with her grandparents. When the movers left for lunch, I put Gracie down for a nap in the pack n play in the basement where she hopefully wouldn't be bothered. My parents' cranky old cat curled up next to the pack n play and watched over her during her entire two and half hour nap. I couldn't believe she was napping so well in the midst of chaos, with people running in and out of the room despite us asking them not to and screaming things like "OH IT'S NAPTIME, HUH?" when I can barely get her to nap half that at home where it's quiet. I checked on her constantly, every time finding her snuggled up with that same blanket I knit her in the picture above, the cat sleeping next to her. It was just the sweetest thing and a memory I can't wait to tell her about when she's older. I grabbed Mexican food from our favorite place and felt weepy driving through the cornfields on the way to get dinner, thinking that this is the last time I'll ever do that here. I don't miss that town, but I miss that my parents won't be living there, just a short drive up a country road. Saying goodbye was absolutely devastating. I hate that Gracie had to share her first birthday with such a sad day, but lucky for her she didn't know any different and had a great day. 

The good news, however, is that the sleep curse in this house seems to have been broken! I went to bed at 8:30 and slept until 7 (and people say you'll never sleep after kids...YOU WILL...eventually), and Gracie finally took her morning nap after a week of refusing it, even sleeping through the maintenance man working in the bathroom adjacent to her room. I would do a victory dance if I wasn't still in so much pain.

15 comments:

  1. That blanket is gorgeous. I can't knit but now I want to learn how so when I'm pregnant someday I can use those 9 months to make my kid something half as beautiful as that (if I'm lucky). I'm sorry Gracie had to share her day with something so sad, but I'm glad you're (both) getting some sleep!! Hopefully the pain subsides soon!!

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  2. I have always loved that blanket-- the colors are my favorite. I'm so glad you and Gracie had such a nice birthday together in spite of everything else that was going on!! Sending lots of love from NY to OH this week!! <3 <3

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  3. I also have a clogged milk duct :( I feel your pain. Although mine is not infected. Hugs. It's the worst!

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  4. You poor thing! Mastitis hit me too out of the blue a couple months ago! I never had it with my first two kids. It's miserable! Then about a month ago I got a milk blister! Man it hurts like h-e-double hockey sticks! I'm still dealing with making sure it stays open while it heals.

    I'm so glad you finally got some sleep though, I've been praying for you whenever I think of it. I wish my little guy would get back to napping like normal now that his first tooth finally broke out, but it's not looking very hopeful.

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  5. can you knit me a blanket like that? that's amazing! we're having naptime hell over here too. it's the worst of the worst. but then it always gets better for a little while. I have never had mastitis, but it sounds like a terrible thing to have! hope you feel better soon.

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    1. Heck yes I can! I'm not a very good knitter, but I can rock a blanket. Napping hell is the worst. It does always get better, thankfully. I think G is finally crashing from all the missed naps.

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  6. A girl on a show I was watching last night had a clogged milk duct. 'tis the season??

    I'm so happy you were able to spend Gracie's birthday with your parents, even though it was bittersweet. I still can't believe she's already a year old!

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  7. Mastitis! No! Ugh, the pain! Thank God for Kate because she was able to tend to Elle while I felt like I was dying on the couch waiting for an antibiotic. You are a warrior for getting up and battling through! That isn't easy.

    I am so sorry you had to say your "goodbyes" yesterday. But just think out of all that sadness you have that precious memory of Gracie napping with that adorable blanket and grumpy cat.

    Can you believe your baby is 1?!? Longest/shortest year ever! Haha

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    1. IT IS AWFUL. I'm trying to go without an antibiotic since I tend to have bad reactions to them, but if things get worse I will be pounding down the door to the doctors office. Thankfully I think I'm slowly improving.

      I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I have a toddler!

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  8. HOW In the world do we have 1 year olds?! Explain this to me Michelle. I refuse to use the T word... You know... T-o-d-d-l-e-r. NOPE.

    Im so sorry your parents moved! And mastitis-- ouch.

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  9. Nothing terrifies me more than being reminded that I have milk ducts. And the fact that they can get infected? NO THANKS TOM HANKS.

    Anyways, happy birthday to your gorgeous precious amazing baby girl! I'm so glad she celebrated like a champ! I also took a very long nap on my birthday. I've come full circle.

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  10. Apparently birthdays are exhausting enough to make babies remind you why they're the best...? Go, Gracie, go!

    Wait... You have a toddler? TERRIFYING!

    P.S. High five for surviving the most insane year of your life and major bonus points for keeping another human alive at the same time.

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  11. Apparently birthdays are exhausting enough to make babies remind you why they're the best...? Go, Gracie, go!

    Wait... You have a toddler? TERRIFYING!

    P.S. High five for surviving the most insane year of your life and major bonus points for keeping another human alive at the same time.

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  12. Aww. One whole year?!!!! Glad you got some sleep and goodbyes are just awful. I also have the problem of getting crazy emotional about never seeing the inside of a house again, when I or my family is moving...it's just so weird, when a house that was once a big part of your life is now just a stranger's home...

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  13. Hooray for sleep finally! I'm so sorry your parents are moving away, but excited for all of the super awesome road trips that you and Gracie will get to go on together in the future!

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