ootd: the jorts that ate me

It is no shock to anyone who has read my blog for the past 5 minutes that fashion blogging is not my thing. While I like clothes and putting together outfits, I'm just not into posting 17 identical photos of myself in front of a brick wall or looking at pictures of you staring at your feet with one hand in your hair. It's cool; we can talk about other things.

However, back in the days of yesteryear (here, here, and here), I posted a series of outfit of the day posts featuring nightmarish childhood outfits of yore. I am happy to say I'm bringing them back. You're thrilled, I know. Last weekend, I happened across a photo album from our family trip to Disneyland in 2000. The pictures are so embarrassing I had to peek at them from behind my hands. Which means that obviously I am going to post one here for the entire world to see. #logic

Do you want to feel better about your awkward years? Just scroll down.

Things to note:

-The Minnie Mouse ears
-The tattoo choker
-The lollipop the size of my face
-The book of Disney character autographs
-Prescription sunglasses hanging around my neck
-See that red strap? And the water bottle by my side? That was a WATER BOTTLE HOLDER. I actually walked around like that all day. 
-Unintentionally flipping off the camera...it's like past Michelle knew how future Michelle would feel about this picture.
-The jorts that ate my entire southern hemisphere 
-Tarzan (he gave preteen Michelle the nervous sweats)

Not pictured: chunky brown sandals and a black velvet scrunchie. Could you die? I could die.

As you can see, being an 11-year-old Michelle was no easy task.


  1. Oh my gosh, I'm dying laughing. (You're so cute!) Honestly, the prescription glasses around the neck got me but then each line just kept getting better and better..! Haha!

  2. Can you even BELIEVE those choker tattoo necklaces are back in style? Girls (or their parents) are still paying real money for them. I used to get mine from the vending machine at the grocery store while I waited for my mom to check out, and they cost 25 cents. I can't get over the resurgence of them, considering how hideous they really are.


  3. Did you just steal my childhood? Except I was afraid of denim at that age so I wore board shorts. I am also in love with your water bottle holder. It's like the more practical fanny pack!

    I feel like Tarzan is a little too provocative for Disneyland these days. I'm sure he gave a lot of people the nervous sweats!

  4. tattoo chokers 4 LYFE!! oh my lord you are my teen fashion idol.

  5. Oh my goodness, hahaha! I don't know though, my awkward stage was pretty bad too... ;-)

  6. Hahahhaa! SO MANY FABULOUS things happening in this photo. Makes me want to go up to my parents and snag some vacation photos of the 90s of myself. I know for a fact there are NUMEROUS photos of me with jorts (sometimes in bright colors!) and a giant fanny pack that basically swallowed me whole haha!

  7. I found a picture of myself the other day when my mom let me start doing my own hair and it was BAD, Michelle. It was so, so bad. It was also when I hadn't had braces yet and I too, was wearing a tattoo choker. Oh and that shirt that looked like it's for a doll, but then it stretched to be a normal shirt? Yeah- I was COOL.

  8. I don't know what you're talking about. I kind of think a water bottle holder needs to make a comeback.

  9. Hahaha I too had a water bottle holder and wore that clever contraption proudly. I was looking through old pictures recently and I think I wore strictly overalls for about three years.

  10. Thank you for giving me my 1 minute of giggles for the day. SOOOOO great, I can't even!!

  11. How I loved that style choker necklace back in the day! It would always get stuck in my hair when I was putting it on but that didn't stop me!

  12. I was jealous of the girls who were cool enough to pull off the choker necklace look back in the day... I think that's even worse than admitting to having worn one!

  13. I don't know. You don't have hair wings that rival red bull's. But yeah-scrunchies-jorts-I feel ya homegirl!
    However, let's not forget that it's Tarzan that has a weird musical note for a belly button. Moment of silence.

    1. I know...I have no idea what's happening on his stomach.

  14. hahaha! but I'm actually pro-tattoo chokers and would still wear one. In fact, I do, because my nine year old sister bought me one as my Christmas present from her because she saw me wearing one in really old pictures and I thought that was the sweetest thing ever.
    But those shorts are pretty bad. I usually don't blame myself for what I wore as a kid because my parents had complete control over my wardrobe till I was like 12. My wardrobe improved immensely once I had some say in the matter.


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