5.20.2016

in which I talk about bra shopping


I woke up yesterday feeling slightly more zesty than usual. I wanted to go out and experience life. I had dozens of ideas, but eventually settled on a lunchtime walk with James. Not the zestiest of ideas, but it felt right. I got myself dressed in a quintessential Michelle outfit: ripped jeans, striped tee, and converse. I was feeling better than I have in awhile. We were ready early, so I decided to kill a little time at the mall across the street from his office. Gracie and I could walk the mall like a retired couple! Speaking of which--we turned to go in a different direction at one point, and an elderly couple thanked me for moving so they could pass us. I felt like that tractor that finally pulls over to the side of the road so all the road ragey people can finally drive faster than 14 mph. Or is that just an Ohio problem?

Anyway.

We had an hour to kill, and if I'm being honest, I was glad we were there because I'm more than ready to say goodbye to my nursing bras. We may still be in the process of weaning, but the nursing bra uni-boob is not going to fly under the bridesmaid dress I have to wear in a few months. The way I feel about those things is the way I felt about my maternity clothes at the end of my pregnancy. I tried on my favorite pre-pregnancy bra to see if I could make a go of it, but it looked and felt like I was trying to smash a watermelon inside an egg shell.

We walked into a store and found the appropriate section after unintentionally walking through the junior dresses where I had bought my high school graduation dress many moons ago. The dresses--they are a lot shorter these days. Gracie pointed at the bras and tried to pull them off the racks while I accidentally banged the stroller into more than one display, earning myself a side-eye from the disgruntled employee hanging up pajamas. I grabbed a few selections, one from here, one from there, taking uneducated guesses at what my size might be. This girl who once cried because she was barely an a-cup is an a-cup no longer and is reaching much farther back on the rack. Be very careful what you wish for, teenage girls.

I tried to grab some basic choices to carry me through until full weanage occurs, when I will then buy myself whatever my little heart desires because I have made it to the promised land, except this promised land will no longer flow with milk and honey. I strollered the babe and the bras to the dressing room, which are now where the media has me a little bit convinced I will die due to the recent overflow of news stories of crazy things happening to women and children. I knew I was safe, but it didn't stop me from constantly searching the ground and door and walls to see if someone was filming me, because I'm nothing if not the slightest bit paranoid at all times. That was always a concern in the back of my mind, but now it's in the forefront, along with how I can eat chocolate and still lose weight and how to time naps around the gardner and his leaf blower. There is also something about dressing rooms that sends Gracie into a tizzy, because whenever we're in one (maybe two times ever) she screams like she's being attacked. Watching her mother try on clothes is literally the worst thing that could ever happen to her. She took her ponytail out and her socks off in revenge for the cruelty exacted upon her in making her sit in her stroller locked in place for 7 minutes. I should've known; she was in a terrible mood since I accidentally woke her from her morning nap.

I shoved an apple cinnamon oatmeal pouch and sippy cup at the flailing toddler-baby. The sippy cup was hurtled at the wall, but she ate the oatmeal until she saw me getting ready to try on the stack of unmentionables I had brought in with us. My state of undress reminded her of what she really wanted. I didn't even have a chance to put anything back on before she lost her cool, and in an effort to not annoy the entire store, I acquiesced before even putting a shirt on. So there I sat, scantily-clad and nursing my child whilst scanning the horizon for camera phones like the captain of a WWI ship scouting for U-boat periscopes (maybe I should stop reading war stories?). Nothing fit and everything felt like wearing a corset after a year plus of flimsy nursing bras, so I speed-strollered us out of there, leaving a trail of bumped and bruised displays and wide-eyed middle-aged women on the sidelines. We need to find a way to buy bras online and guarantee a good fit. It's 2016!

I may still be rocking the uni-boob, but I impulse-bought this shirt during naptime, so I guess you could say I won in the end.

21 comments:

  1. The only thing I associate bra shopping with is fear and dread, and I don't have a small child with me when I go. I give you credit for attempting it!

    Ripped jeans and Converse forever <3 I'm trying to figure out my go-to shirt when I wear that outfit-- I might have to steal your look and pick up a few striped shirts.

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  2. "Nothing fit and everything felt like wearing a corset" is pretty much exactly how I've felt about bra shopping my entire life. It's no fun, ever. I stand by that.

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  3. Ugh, bra shopping. That says it all

    Striped shirts, though. It's a staple in my closet as well!

    More Gracie pics! That hair!!!

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    1. I have several nearly identical striped shirts, but I DON'T CARE. When it comes to clothing, I have limited interests.

      Her hair is getting so long! It's going to be as long as mine in no time.

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  4. Oh Lordie, I am so ready to be done with nursing bras. This stage is so awkward though because I don't really know what these bad boys are going to do when they're finally done providing sustenance to another human. Will they shrink up in revenge for all I've put them through? (TBH a little shrinkage wouldn't be a bad thing at this point.) my nursing bras are all ill fitting and ratty now but I just have no idea what the situation will be post nursing. I will say I've had some luck buying bras from AdoreMe online, but that was pre baby. I might give it a whirl again just to avoid the dressing room "adventure."

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    1. YES. Exactly! I have no idea what kind of shrinkage (lolol) will take place either! I just need something to help me look socially acceptable until then. Mine are all so ratty and worn out that it's basically like I'm just tying a piece of discarded cloth around my chest at this point. Whatever. At least they're comfortable! For a bra, that is.

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  5. Gracie girl knew what trying on those new bras meant and would not go gently into that good night.
    I love that shirt you ordered. We basically are the same person! Once in a blue moon I like to dress up but my standby's are t-shirts (sweaters/hoodies in cold weather) and jeans. Also, Ryan got these tie-up sweatpants with elastic at the bottom of the legs and I have already stolen them. I may look like someone's grandpa, but they are heavenly!!!

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    1. Haha! I bet you're right! You need that shirt too! I'm so excited about it. I stole James' clothes all the time when I was pregnant. They were just so much more comfortable than mine!

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  6. I do not have a child and I have not had to change sizes recently... but I still HATE bra shopping. Ugh. And I refuse to pay $3,000 for a Vickie Secrets bra so I do my boob-cage shopping at Target. And I love Target- but I hate bra shopping.
    Is the tractor thing only in Ohio? Happens to me a lot, too...

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  7. Bra shopping is up there in my least favorite things in life. I've had to buy new ones twice throughout pregnancy and now I'll need new ones again soon and I just have no clue how to size/buy/shop! UGH.

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  8. Michelle, I was laughing at how much I relate to the dressing room paranoia. I'm not super paranoid, but anytime the dressing room door/curtain does not go floor-to-ceiling, I feel like somehow a security camera is peering over, or a random person walking by will peep over the top, or some other insane thing will happen. Really, how hard would it be for the store to make the door/curtain go floor to ceiling?
    I don't have a huge hatred for bra shopping (yet), mainly because I rarely, rarely do it. The last time I bought a brand-new bra was 3 years ago, right before I got married, since I needed a really good one to wear under my wedding dress. Usually, though-I hope I don't scandalize anyone!-I hunt the racks at the thrift store for non-ratty bras, because sometimes there are actually some good ones that people have donated! I am slightly dreading going nursing bra shopping once I give birth this summer, but that's partially because I'm uncertain if I want to see/acknowledge what happens to my chest area once the milk comes in :P
    (also, that's a great impulse buy)

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  9. Am I the only one who likes nursing and nursing bras? Reuben is 10 months and still nursing like a newborn even through he eats 3 times a day. I also can't get him to take a cup or bottle yet but oh well! Good luck finding a bra. Im finally losing weight and crying happy tears about it.

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    1. I love nursing, but I'm getting to the point where I want to be able to leave her for a few hours and not worry about it. I'm mostly letting her wean on her own, but I had to nudge her down that path at first or I was afraid she would nurse every 3 hours in college. She never really took a bottle, but she just started using sippy cups in the last few months, and that's helped a lot.

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  10. Bra shopping is the absolute worst! I seriously go into mourning when one of my bras finally wears out because I hate bra shopping so much!

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  11. Nursing bras are the bane of my existence. Who decided that the chubby, milky mother needed a bra that doesn't really do anything? I gave up on them nine months ago and haven't looked back. I recommend Aerie, fyi. They have all their styles and sizes in the change room so it's minimal trauma, and they're a fraction of the price of those evil nursing bras.

    I fantasize about the day my Parker feeders shrink down enough to fit my old dresses and shirts again.

    Parker also seems to hate change rooms for some indefinable reason. It's like the one mirror in the world he doesn't care about.

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  12. I own ALL of the bras. My kid is two now and we've been done with nursing for quite a while and I legitimately cannot believe how many times I'v head to buy bras. There was the pre-baby, the ribcage enlargement while pregnant, the boob enlargement while pregnant, the soft stretchy sleep bras of nursing, the nursing tanks when I realized how much better they were (especially for the kid who HATED being fed under a cover), the oh-crap-i-have-to-wear-real-clothes bra shopping adventure to procure a "normal" looking bra, the reduction in cup size later in nursing, the post-baby weight, the post-wean I'M-WEARING-A-REAL-BRA!, and then the post-post-wean my boobs have shrunk to nothing and none of my pre-baby bras fit. I have lots of emotions about this. And lots of bras that don't fit to prove it. I feel ya.

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    1. THIS IS SO REAL. YES. I completely understand.

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  13. That shirt is 100% amazing. Also, I always look for cameras when I enter a dressing room. You just can't be too paranoid these days.

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  14. AGREED TO THE ONLINE BRA SHOPPING WITH GUARANTEED FIT. Or really, any clothing type. I detest online shopping, but I also detest real life shopping. But I love new clothes. Life is hard.

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  15. Girl, the promised land of online bra shopping exists, and it is called third love. They're SO GOOD, but SO EXPENSIVE. They also carry half-cup sizes, because they aren't barbarians. Someday I'm going to treat myself to one, because don't we all deserve one magical unicorn bra?

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  16. It is important to buy the right type of a nursing bra as this is extremely important during the time of pregnancy. A pregnant woman needs to wear a comfortable bra which provides the right support during this difficult phase. One should buy the right kind of a nursing bra during this phase and for this a number of things need to be kept in mind.

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