7.20.2016

weddings, roadtrips, and a cautionary tale on sock buying

I have been SO BUSY lately. This is not like me at all. One of my best friends got married on Saturday, and I had the honor of being one of her bridesmaids. The day was absolutely perfect and not one thing went even slightly wrong. When it comes to flawless weddings, I am completely unfamiliar with the concept. I saw a handful of old high school friends I thought I would never see again, and we all tore up the dance floor to rap songs from the mid-2000s. I had a deja-vu moment and felt like I was back at prom. Normally that would sound like my worst nightmare, but it was so much fun. I felt like I went back in time 10 years. I took absolutely no pictures because I was too busy eating brie during the reception and jumping on the hotel bed to the Backstreet Boys while we were getting ready for the day. It's no wonder my curls fell out.


I wound up with some sort of upset stomach from a lethal combination of rich food and dancing and lack of sleep. It felt a lot like food poisoning but no one else got as sick. I was up all night on the verge of puking. I felt a little better in the morning, so I took Gracie to church since James was playing guitar. She screamed and cried the whole time to the point that I had to take her home early. She fell asleep on the way home and then refused to take her nap, my upset stomach came back with a vengeance, and short story long, it was the worst day ever.

I had been planning to drive to my visit my parents on Monday, but I wasn't sure if my stomach would be up to it. I had gotten only a couple hours of sleep over two days and Gracie has been a monster lately due to the "m" word: molars. I've been stressed to the max about driving across the Midwest with a baby, but I was so busy with the wedding the last few days I barely gave it a thought, so I woke up Monday morning determined to do it before I could overthink it and talk myself out of it.

Just as we were getting ready to leave, a massive thunderstorm rolled through. I pulled up the weather map, and sure enough, the storm system covered every highway I was planning to take for all 4 states. We started our drive with lightning striking down on both sides of the highway and torrential rain for three hours, which wasn't the worst considering I had forgotten my sunglasses at home. My GPS was bound and determined to take me on all the toll roads even though there was another route that took the exact same time with zero tolls. I spent half the drive fighting my GPS and trying to remember the Google Maps directions I had tried to memorize and the other half arguing with my dad on the phone over which highways and exits to take. I changed Gracie's diaper in a crowded McDonald's parking lot while black clouds and a wall of rain raced toward us and she covered the entire backseat in wheat thins and goldfish. Once we arrived, I staggered out of the car, road drunk and loopy from sleep deprivation and not eating since my stomach was still wonky. It was quite the adventure, but we made it. I have no idea how I'm going to survive the drive back. Please don't talk to me about it.

I'm actually much more tired than I look, thanks. 
This is the first time I've been able to see visit them in their new home. Iowa is freakishly pretty. There are rolling hills covered in lush cornfields and green trees and red barns and wildflowers. I can't even deal. My parents' backyard has literal HAY BALES in it. Actually--I just went in the kitchen (to get ice cream, you know) and looked out the window. Hay bales, rolling hills, flowers, and a DOUBLE RAINBOW (what does it mean??). This morning I could see thunder clouds growing in the distance. I feel like I'm being flirted with. We drove through town today, and random cornfields were sandwiched between houses and businesses. The town is right on the Mississippi River with old victorian mansions and parks and coffee shops and a hundred and two antique stores. I hate that it's not Ohio, but I love visiting a new place. There's so much history here! So many farms. SO MUCH CORN. You think Ohio has a lot of cornfields? You haven't seen Iowa.

The Mississippi. I'm still looking for Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.



In other news, my mom brought us souvenirs from one of our favorite surf shops in California. She bought me a pair of socks, thinking I would love the colors and the palm tree print. Well! She took her pair out of the package, unfolded them, and realized they were not palm tree socks, they were POT SOCKS. MY MOM BOUGHT ME POT SOCKS. We can't stop laughing about it. I feel like this is one of those family stories that will be told for decades. I'm allowed to keep them but under strict instructions to never wear them in public. 


I'm making her a birthday dinner and cake tonight. Under the circumstances, I thought it best to not make brownies.

18 comments:

  1. I am CRACKING UP over the pot socks. OH MY GOSH. The next time I see you, you BEST be wearing those. I need to see them with my own two eyes!!!

    Being road drunk is a real thing. You should have seen me and Alissa once we got to around Binghamton, NY or so on our drive from Toledo to home. I almost drove off the road laughing at a mini van who was hilariously weaving in and out traffic. I don't know why it was so funny- but I was road drunk- and I blame it all on that.

    So glad you made it to your mom and dad's safely-- enjoy your stay!!! <3 <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In and out OF** traffic. See, I started thinking about it again, started laughing, and left a word out.

      Delete
  2. Happy birthday to your mom! Those socks really are quite beautiful, considering. I laughed so hard and read that part out loud to Karl. Morning made.

    Enjoy your visit! I know nothing about Iowa except that it and Idaho and Ohio are all the same in my brain. They sound flat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's funny you included Idaho! I've been there twice and it's one of the prettiest places I've ever been. Mountains and valleys all over :)

      Delete
    2. I was going to say, I thought Idaho was mountainous. Ohio and Iowa both have rolling hills! Not totally flat :)

      Delete
  3. "I feel like I'm being flirted with" LOL. Take me with you next time!! Sounds amazing! Tell Mama C I said hello and give her a hug from me :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please come with me!! Seriously! I would love it and so would my mom!

      Delete
  4. Your writing rocks-- have I mentioned that recently? I truly feel like I'm just reading my favorite authors musings when I come to your blog :) Being in a wedding of a BFF is so much fun- I wish I had more friends getting married, it's been too long since I've been part of a bridal party! Sorry you got sick afterwards, hopefully Iowa and all that gorgeousness have healed you. I'm certain that your drive home will be a breeze since the way there was so crazy!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Those pot socks are seriously the best. That's totally something my mom would do! Hahaha!! I'm glad you guys made it- I think you're a much stronger person than you give yourself credit for! Hopefully that double rainbow means smooth sailing back to Ohio ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I was so wondering if anyone was going to GUESS why your midsection might be upset? but alas, your blog readers are much to nice to hint at that... <_< and I won't either. >_>

    ReplyDelete
  7. YOU DID IT! Rockstar. Way to brave the elements, baby and all. I hope you have a wonderful time. Pot socks! El to the O El. That reminds me of the time my grandpa wore a tie to a wedding that said "Up Yours." Proof here: http://www.theladyokieblog.com/2012/03/my-grandpas-tie-story-of-confusion.html

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hahahahaha the pot socks are HILARIOUS. I'm sure they will forever be your most treasured souvenir!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm glad the wedding weekend went well, but that really stinks about your stomach! I've found the older I get the more certain food really upsets my stomach. Anything greasy & I'm done for! Hope you're feeling better by now though. I too thought about giving you grief about your stomach, but everyone else seems to have done a good enough job 😉

    Way to go for driving all the way to your parents! You're a rockstar in my book. I wouldn't attempt that ever, even with only one kiddo!

    We have corn everywhere here too. We live inside the 2nd largest city in NE & if there is an open plot of land without a building more than likely there is corn growing there, right in town! My children always get excited when the see it.

    Those socks! That will be an awesome story to tell Gracie when she's older!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I see one busy, memorable and fun road trip and weekend.
    Good on you. That's an interesting and stunning view.

    ReplyDelete
  11. THE SOCKS!... hahahaha! Yes!.. so awesome and hilarious...a story to last a lifetime for sure! Way to go on the road trip! These photos are beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Don't think about the return trip. Luckily for you, you have a blog, so every time there is a gigantic disaster en route you can be crying on the outside but on the inside you can still be planning to blog about it later.

    ReplyDelete

Talk to me! If your email is linked to your account, I'll respond to you via email. If not, I'll respond to you right here.