8.04.2016

the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week

I'm currently in the throes of what I would like to call The Worst Week Ever.

It all started with my parents leaving. They were here for a quick 24 hours this weekend to tie up some loose ends, and I did not handle the goodbye well at all. Something about not knowing when I'll see them again and not having a support system around me. You know.

Then it became August, my least favorite month. Everything bad happens in August. Maybe not everything, but it's hard to be rational during THE HOTTEST MONTH OF THE YEAR. It feels like we're actually living in hell right now. And we all know that good things do not happen in hell.

And then I stopped sleeping again. I had a good stretch of decent sleep, but the insomnia made its inevitable debut again. I've barely been getting any sleep this week and I have been at the point where I can hardly function, which I can't even handle on a good week. Add the fact that James and I are in the middle of making some huge life decisions and are stressed out of our minds trying to figure out jobs and houses and other things and I think you can see that I'm not in a good place right now.

And then Gracie got her THIRD MOLAR. Third molar in the past month! The level of crankiness and clinginess have been in uncharted territories lately. But then throw in the fact that she stopped napping this week. Just stopped napping. Completely. She slept for 15 minutes on the way home from a playdate yesterday, but that's it. I haven't had a moment of peace ALL WEEK. This is not good for me. In fact, it's dangerous. So a sleep-deprived, teething toddler and a sleep-deprived, stressed-out mother have been cooped up together all week. It has all the makings of a disaster.

I was doing the dishes after dinner last night, talking to James about how life is so hard right now and it's constantly one thing after another. I was on the verge of tears when I cut my hand open with the blade on the blender and bled all over the clean dishes, sending me into a spiral of emotion that led to me sobbing into a bowl of watermelon on the kitchen floor.

And then there was today. Gracie fell off my bed this morning and scared me half to death. She's perfectly fine, but it took me an hour to stop shaking. Then we went to the grocery store. It's not that taking a baby to the grocery store is bad, it's just that it's the most exhausting thing I do all week. And we are anything but well-rested at the moment. Things went fine, but after several trips of carrying 10 grocery bags and a toddler on my hip around the building and up several flights of stairs in 90 degree heat, I was done.

Gracie played on the floor, building towers and reading books, while I put the food away and started making lunch. I checked on her periodically, but everything was fine, other than the fact that she had managed to get in my purse, pull my wallet out, and go through it. Instead of quickly cleaning it up like I normally would, I left it for a few more minutes. I finished making the chicken salad, thinking that FINALLY I wasn't having a truly horrible day, and then I walked out to grab Gracie.

The floor was covered in poop. Covered. Smeared. Everything in between. Her diaper had partially come undone, she had filled up her diaper about 10 times over in 2 minutes, and she was scooting around the floor, smearing it as she went. The rug, her toys, the carpet, MY WALLET. Everything. Covered. I grabbed her, holding her as far away from me as possible, and rushed her upstairs to clean her up. She screamed the entire time as if I was doing her a GREAT OFFENSE by scrubbing poop off her. The damage was so bad her romper had to be thrown out. It was the same one she got carsick on a few months ago, so I think it was cursed to begin with.

I took a deep breath and took her back downstairs to survey the damage. The more I looked, the worse it got. I put G in her high chair with lunch and called James, because if he couldn't be here to help he was at least going to hear about it. Poor guy. All he could say was "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I was half-laughing, half-crying as I told him what happened and cleaned it up. I had grabbed the strongest cleaner I could find, thinking it would sanitize everything, until James said "Uh, Michelle, that has bleach in it." I panicked and looked back down, where I could see the beige carpet turn a pinkish-white before my eyes. And it wasn't just a small spot! It was a four foot long trail. Along with a huge chunk of our rug. All James could hear was the sound of me crying; all I could hear was the sound of our deposit vanishing.

Gracie finished eating and started fussing, so I cut up a peach for her, which is usually one of her favorite things. She threw it on the floor. I bent over to pick it up when she yanked on my hair as hard as she could. In the calmest voice I could muster considering the circumstances, I picked her up and told her she was going to go take her nap so mommy could cry in peace. And she actually fell asleep! Until 10 minutes later when two men with chainsaws started trimming bushes right outside the windows.

Throughout the ordeal, I kept reminding myself that once bedtime comes, I could curl up on the couch and drown my sorrows in a bowl of ice cream. Sometime during the fight to get her in her crib, I realized.

I forgot to buy ice cream.

17 comments:

  1. Oh, Michelle. I don't even know where to begin. Consider this an all-encompassing THAT SUCKS, and I'M SORRY. For all of it!!! xoxox love you and your discolored bedroom rug!!!

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  2. I almost started crying for you reading this! BE STRONG!!!

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  3. Woof... If I could send you ice cream right now I most definitely would.

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  4. Oh Michelle! Hugs! I wish I could send you ice cream and wine and chocolate right now and watch Gracie so you could escape for some peace. Prayers coming your way! What a Job kind of day.

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  5. oh my lord. I got all choked up just reading this and thinking about how you felt. blagh. bright side: next week has to be better?

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  6. Oh no, Michelle!!! This just means that next week is going to be extra awesome?!?!
    Hope things get a little more relaxed for you. Love you!

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  7. Yes. You win. Worst week ever. :( That blows.
    I really don't want to sound all know-it-all Mommy here so I hope it doesn't come off that way, but I have to tell you for the sake of your sanity: Quiet Time. Margaret also stopped napping insanely early (well before age 2), and I emotionally just couldn't take it, haha. I'm super introverted- I need an hour + to chill. So we started doing quiet time. Same time as nap time, in her crib with a few toys, board books, etc (whatever was safe). The sucky part was that it took over a month to become routine- lots of going in to calm her down, teach her that this was her time to play alone, extending the time she stayed in there, etc. The best part: she's turning three this month and we still do it every day (even though potty training and sleeping in a big bed). It helps her mood in the evening and she naps when she needs to. Sometimes she goes back to napping pretty consistently through a growth spurt or for a few months. Either way, it's been a life saver. (not without incident though- a year ago I found she had stripped butt naked and peed on everything in sight. The horror. Thankfully that only happened once!)
    I'd ship you some Tillamook ice cream if I could. Stay strong!

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    1. We do quiet time! She dropped her morning nap crazy early so we used to do it then, but if she skips her afternoon nap she stays in there regardless. But it's hard to relax with the chattering and whining. Sigh.

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  8. NOT THE CARPET! I am crying right along with you. I hate bleach. It is the devil. I don't use it because I don't understand it. It terrifies me.

    I am very much over summer at this point. I wore a sweater outside yesterday because it was cool out and I nearly cried with joy. Take heart, September is coming and with it layers and hot beverages and pumpkin muffins.

    So much poop! If you lived less than incredibly far away I would bring you my amazing chocolate cake. And we would eat it and cry together because we have children and that is enough.

    We're transitioning out of two naps and it breaks my heart. The teething monster has been killing our nights but I can't imagine no naps. I hear the circus is hiring.

    I'm so sorry.

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  9. Oh no. My heart was breaking for you and then THE BLEACH. Noooo!!! I agree with James, I am so sorry. About it all. I really hope tomorrow is better for you.

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  10. Oh Michelle :( I'm with James, I am SO SORRY! oh my goodness! And no naps??? You did better than I would have with alllll of this. And man oh man does the weather suck right now. It's been a monotonous 95 for 2 months straight and I HATE IT. You deserve all the ice cream, have you tried Graeters? You should. I'm praying for you girl and next week just has to be better. <3 <3 <3

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    1. James brought me home some ice cream, and I sat in the kitchen eating out of the carton at 10:30 last night, because THINGS JUST KEPT GETTING WORSE. I have had Graeters and I love it! Also, this heat! I'm dying! Our AC can't keep up and going to sleep at night is miserable.

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  11. I'm hoping that the cursed romper was connected to all of this and now that it's gone things will start looking up.

    That all sucks. Especially the carpet thing. For some reason that really resonates with me as a fellow renter.

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  12. Oh my goodness Michelle! Your week has been way worse than you had made it out to be! I'm so sorry!

    If it makes you feel even a little bit better I all out screamed at Jesse as he was screaming inconsolably yesterday morning while fighting napping even though he had been fussy all morning & desperately needed to nap. Of course it did nothing but make him scream louder & make me feel terrible!

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  13. You win for worst week ever. Right when I thought "nothing more could go wrong", something did. But hey, its Friday, this weekend will change things around. Make sure of it!! ;)

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