|Audrey Hepburn and Cat, 2009|
Do you like horror movies? Is jumping out from behind a bush and scaring your neighbor the highlight of your day? Do you like all things spooky and terrifying? Have I got a
1. Gluten. There's nothing scarier in 2016 than the naturally-occurring protein in wheat. Guaranteed to make your friends scream and run away in fear.
Related ideas: refined sugar, carbs, non-organic fruit
2. The comment section of YouTube or any major website. You just cringed, didn't you? Good, that's the reaction we're going for.
3. The Presidential candidates. Either one. They're both horrifying.
4. Cleaning products not made from essential oils. Dress up as a bottle of Clorox and everyone in a five-mile radius will immediately be diagnosed with cancer.
5. WebMD. Everyone in a five-mile radius will immediately be self-diagnosed with cancer.
6. Clowns. With all the murder clown sightings this year, a clown costume could convince even the staunchest gun control advocate to pack some heat.
7. That person on social media constantly hawking his or her wares or diet program. Do you have a minute to talk about essential oils? Lularoe leggings? Jamberry nails? Maybe if you tried #whole30 or Advocare or not feeding your kids puffs or formula your life would magically improve and you'd lose the baby weight and also world peace. This costume is guaranteed to make your friends tremble and search for a safe zone.
8. The list of shows and movies leaving Netflix on the first of the month. Heart beating out of your chest! Sweating! Anxiety! This costume will cause it all. Is your favorite show on the list? Is it safe? Is there time to watch that movie one more time?! THE CLOCK IS TICKING.
What are you dressing up as this year?