5.10.2017

when it rains it pours, and when it pours it floods

You know how every power in the universe seems to work together to keep me from going to that Bible Study? Last week I wondered what on earth would come up to keep me from going this week. 

I got my answer yesterday morning when I woke up with the heat of a thousand wildfires in my throat, complete with tornados of glass shards. My eyeballs ache, my ears ache, my entire body hurts, and my nose weighs 37 pounds. I am in complete and total misery. I know it's called the common cold, but there should be nothing common about debating between taking a chainsaw to your nose or just throwing yourself off a tall mountain.

Not only did I wake up with the world's most malicious cold, it was one of those days straight from the pit of hell. Every little thing went wrong. Gracie's last two teeth decided to choose yesterday to start tormenting her, resulting in a hunger strike and constant screams and tears. She fell and skinned her knee and then hit her head on a stair rail. Her beloved piece of blue sidewalk chalk (the only one she'll draw with) rolled off the balcony and into a bush I can't get it out of. I dragged her to the store for cold medicine and had to carry her on my hip (God forbid you put her in a cart or ask her to walk) from the pharmacy to the Kleenex aisle, which is LITERALLY the furthest point possible from the pharmacy in an absolutely gigantic store. Which leads me to my rant: WHY are tissues not near the pharmacy? They're what every sick person needs! But no, Meijer, you think it makes sense to wedge them next to the sugar and across from the refrigerated dairy section in the back corner of the store. You never think about these things and how huge these stores are until you're weak from sickness and holding a screaming baby. 

I picked up a bowl of soup at Panera on the way home to soothe my throat, which did the trick even though Gracie ate most of it. I put Gracie down for her nap and she immediately went to sleep. I felt so awful I couldn't even bring myself to read; I stared at the wall for a full hour and a half until the gardeners revved up their leaf blowers and woke Gracie up 30-60 minutes early. The day continued in a downward spiral of crying, sloppy joe meat all over the carpet, and me yelling when I shouldn't have. I ended the day sobbing at an episode of Call the Midwife and opening a greek yogurt bar that promptly fell off the stick right onto my phone and blanket. 

James got home as I was going to bed, and he told me the water heater leaked again and soaked everything around it. After downing some cold medicine, I put in a maintenance request. I fell into bed and hardly slept. The medicine didn't do a thing, and I woke up over and over drowning in snot and trying not to suffocate. I was lying on the couch in my pajamas this morning, surrounded by towers of dirty tissues, when the maintenance man knocked on the door. I had totally forgotten. Serves me right for putting in a request after drinking a shot of NyQuil. 

The maintenance men here have never seen me at anything other than my absolute worst. They've walked in on me in the shower, nursing a newborn, and in the process of getting dressed. Today, he walked in and immediately said "you're going to need to move those shelves in your pantry so we can get the water heater out. I'm still 99% sure it wasn't necessary, but I followed orders. I was dizzy, weak, and still not completely sure if I was dreaming this whole thing or what reality is thanks to my daytime cold medicine, but I heaved and pushed and pulled and got the two substantial bookcases we store our food on out of the pantry/laundry room. All I wanted was a hot, steamy shower to clear my congestion, but not only did we not have hot water, we had no water. They turned it off and then left for over an hour.

Of course, lunchtime hit and my kitchen was full of shelving, ladders, buckets, and tarps. Gracie got an appetizing meal of peanuts, several blueberries, and smashed cereal bar from my purse. It was all I could reach in the chaos, plus tomorrow is grocery day so we were running on empty anyway. The maintenance man finally returned, and despite the fact that I was curled up on the couch in my fortress of blankets and kleenex boxes, he walked in and told me all about the renovations they're doing on the pool, and how he feels so bad for everyone who wants to use the hot tub but can't because it's broken, but he can't fix it because he's stuck working on my water heater instead. AS IF THIS IS MY FAULT. If I can't sleep tonight, it will either be because my cold medicine didn't work again or the guilt that I kept people from twenty minutes of fun in the hot tub. 

The good news is that James took tomorrow off so I can rest and he can get groceries for me, because I don't know if you've heard but I'M REALLY SICK. And clearly handling it like a pro. Gracie has been so healthy, but I've had more viruses in her short life than I have in the past 28 years. I can't help but wonder if all this sickness would go away if I just stopped trying to go to Bible Studies.

8 comments:

  1. Wow. Having your kitchen in chaos is basically the worst thing when you have kids, because you need access to it 100 times a day!

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  2. How dare you get sick and need access to water in your home when there are people who need that hot tub?! Seriously, you are a superhero for moving those shelves and dealing with maintenance people while you are sick. And the tissues should most definitely be near the pharmacy.

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  3. EW. We had to replace our hot water heater recently and it was a PIA. I'm so glad you have someone to do it for you despite having to move all your shelves out of the way (did he at least help???). But yes, you should be ashamed you're taking away from his precious hot tub repair time. Hot tubs trump showers, you know.

    FEEL BETTER!!!

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  4. Oh, that sounds miserable! I hope you get better soon. I'm so glad that your husband will be home so he can take care of stuff while you recover!

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  5. The teeth! They're coming and I wish they would just get it over with. Oh, Gracie. My teething theory this time is that I'm just going to fill him with popsicles, smoothies, and yogurt. You want cookies? Just stop screaming at me!

    Hopefully today you get a good steamy shower (shame you can't use the hot tub instead) and James brings doughnuts.

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  6. oh the teeth. the teeth! thank goodness you're getting some help. my lord there is nothing worse than being sick and having to be a parent at the same time. you deserve every medal.

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    Replies
    1. There really is nothing worse. This week will go down as the one that almost broke me.

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