7.23.2017

the worst part of prison is probably the lack of donuts

I won't bore you with all the gory details explaining why last week was hellacious, but let me give you a quick rundown on how our Friday night went: Gracie was screaming from a bleeding, painful rash that refuses to heal, I was doubled over with some strange stomach issues that hit out of the blue, and at the very same time James had a sudden and bad allergic reaction to his antibiotics he's been on since he hasn't been able to kick his sinus infection for months now. He was covered from head to toe in the angriest hives I've ever seen. All of this when we should have been in Pittsburgh enjoying a free hotel room our friends VERY generously offered to us when they couldn't go. But as you can see, we had to stay home. That pretty much sums up how the entire week went.

Now let me tell you about what will forever go down as The Donut Saga. On Saturday, we decided to turn things around with a donut outing. Remember last week when I didn't get the donuts at the farmer's market and I regretted it before I had even walked two steps away? And then a friend of mine posted a bunch of pictures of them which further tortured me, I dreamed all night about them, and I craved them for a full week. Those donuts haunted me for seven full days. I practically skipped down the sidewalk Saturday night, ready to end the week of horrors with fried dough covered in melted chocolate. An employee met us at the front door and said "I'm sorry, but our fryer broke and we're out of donuts, so we're closing early tonight."

YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS STUFF UP.

The night went downhill from there, but we won't get into that.

Speaking of train wrecks, we finished watching The People v. OJ Simpson. It was so good we actually talked about immediately starting it over and watching it all again. I've been laying awake in bed late at night, by the glow of my iPhone 6, googling everything I can about the whole trial. The cherry on top was live-streaming OJ's parole hearing Thursday afternoon. The timing could not have been more perfect as I've had my OJ goggles on all week. My mom texted me a reminder just in time for me to download the CNN app. I was foaming at the mouth through the entire hearing, analyzing his every facial expression and mannerism.

Marcia Clark would be so proud.

I had trouble hearing the first 20 minutes since a certain 2 year old sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in my ear the whole the time, but nap time solved that issue. I put in a yarn order while the parole board deliberated, I sipped my coffee, and that's the moment I realized I've turned into my mother. My mother is a ridiculously talented knitter, often watching the news, and always drinking coffee.

Let me tell you, there are worse ways to spend a Thursday afternoon.

If I were OJ, the first thing I'd do upon my parole in October would be to go straight to the nearest donut shop.


10 comments:

  1. I'm watching a show about OJ Simpson right this minute. It's called "Is OJ Innocent? The Missing Evidence." I'm only a half hour in but so far they're detailing a theory that his son actually committed the murder. Who knows how realistic it is, but I'm intrigued.

    That is devastating about the donuts. :(

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  2. Another Jonah day? I've been having those too :)

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  3. Girl. I am praying (and praying HARD) that you get those dang donuts this week. You NEED them. Lol

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  4. I also JUST finished the OJ series on Netflix!!! I started it a few weeks ago but then for whatever reason never finished it- but that parole hearing got me itching for more, so I finished this past weekend. LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.

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    1. WASN'T IT INCREDIBLE? Marcia Clark is my favorite human.

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    2. SO INCREDIBLE. I binge-watched a bunch of REAL Marcia interviews on YouTube when I finished the series. What a queen. She was so unfairly treated. I also really wanted to know what the REAL scoop was with her and Chris Darden!!

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    3. So did I!! Marcia for President. Ellen asked her over and over if they made out and SHE WOULD NOT ANSWER. I really do need to know.

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  5. I know practically nothing about OJ Simpson. But I do know doughnuts. And crappy weekends.

    Cheers to the new week! I'm hoping for lots ofcoffee and knitting, too. Your mom had the right idea.

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  6. Oh shoot, that is a tragedy about the donuts! I hope that you get some donuts soon. Oh man, coffee and knitting sounds so good right about now.

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  7. Actually, I bet they do get donuts in prison. At least occasionally. Sorry your life is worse than prison. :( Just kidding.

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