8.13.2017

unpopular opinions

You asked for my unpopular opinions, so here they are. You've probably heard me rant and rave about some of them before. Be prepared to be offended and triggered. Get your safe space ready. You might read this and think "hey, I do one or all of these things. Does Michelle think I'm the worst?"

The answer is yes, I do. I think you're totally the worst ever.

I'm kidding! This is all for fun and meant to be tongue in cheek. I love each and every one of you. I don't think less of you if you're into these things, I just think you're very wrong.

I'm kidding! Let's hug.

1. Essential oils. More like UNessential oils, amiright? I AM SO TIRED OF THESE I COULD SCREAM. Listen, I know they have helped people. Friends and family I trust have used them for medical purposes with good results. I get it. I'm talking about the people who diffuse them, bathe in them, snort them, eat them, clean with them, roll around in them, swipe them on their feet, whatever. I do not see how high levels of exposure to something like that can be healthy, "natural" or not. Whenever I walk into a room where they're being diffused, I have an immediate allergic attack. I can't even walk down the laundry aisle in the store without sneezing, so I sure as heck won't be asphyxiating myself with essential oils.

You're probably like "you know, there's an oil to brainwash you into loving oils" but let me stop you and say no---there's not. I WILL NOT BE BEWITCHED.

2. There's a meme floating around out there that says something like I don't know what it is to be held hostage, but I have been in a group text. It's funny, and I'm sure we've all fallen victim to an endless group text we didn't want to be a part of. However, I love group texts in general and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I have one with my family, which is always a good time, and I have a couple with my funniest friends. It's what gets me through the day. We talk about everything from tv shows to is this something I should call the pediatrician about? and everything in between. We have all the banter of sitting in the same room together, but I can also get the laundry folded at the same time and not brush my hair.

3. The lettering craze. I've unfollowed so many people on Instagram because out of the blue, they suddenly started to post 257 hand-lettered inspirational quotes instead of their normal coffee and baby pictures. For the record, why do we call it lettering? Lettering sounds like you're spelling with letters, not drawing them. Isn't it technically calligraphy? Little details like that drive me crazy. ANYWHO, a part of me likes it and I would love to be able to have such gorgeous handwriting since mine handwriting is a bit masculine, but it all looks the same. To me, lettering is just everyone writing in the exact same style. It's like mimicking a font on the computer. Sure, it's pretty, but IT ALL LOOKS THE SAME. One of these days, no one is going to be able to distinguish anyone's handwriting, because every millennial woman learned lettering (for real though, how pretentious is that word) from the same book.

4. MLMs, aka a centimeter away from being pyramid schemes. Don't @ me on this. I stand firm. It's hard to judge where most people fall when it comes to Lularoe (LulaNO) leggings and wraps and shakes and whatever else is out there, so I'm not sure how much of an unpopular opinion this is. You either love it or you hate it. There's enough of it out there that apparently some people love it. I hate them. It's not even the product, it's how it turns everyone into a salesman. Social media is a constant commercial for whatever people on your friends list are peddling that day. The market is so saturated with these products, I don't understand how people can make money off these things anymore. I don't like feeling as though someone is trying to take advantage of our friendship by pressuring me to buy something. Good for you trying to make money, but there has to be a way that doesn't annoy the majority of people in your life.

For the record, I do not feel this way about Etsy shops. That takes a specific talent and sales skills. Props to people with Etsy shops. Just keep your overpriced, eye-blinding leggings away from me.

5. Snapchat/Instagram filters. JUST SAY NO TO THE PUPPY DOG FACE. You know how we make fun of the duck face of 5-10 years past? That's going to be the way we view puppy dog/flower crown filters in 10 years. Mark my words.



6. I don't understand Beyonce. Why am I supposed to love her? Because I don't. I think she's obnoxious.


7. Ditto, but with Taylor Swift. No thanks.

8. I don't understand adults who are obsessed with Disney. I find that to be very weird. Do you still play with your old Barbies, too? I mean, I like Disney. I love the classic Disney movies from our childhood and I had a blast at Disneyland as a kid, but other than that I just don't care. The obsession weirds me out.

8. I am a white girl and a stay at home mom, but Target is not my mecca. I could do without it, honestly. Sure, I've gotten some great things there over the years, it's a good place to waste some time, but I think most of their things are a bit overpriced and not great quality. I swear, if I see one more crop top in their clothing section....I'm not going to do anything, but I will roll my eyes.

9. I want to take a needle and thread to every cold shoulder shirt I see. SO FUGLY.

10. Road trips are awful. I hate them. They stress me out. I would much rather go through the hassle of flying and get there faster than spend an entire day in a car.

11. I don't know if I'm allowed to say this as a hashtag girl mom, but.......I don't like big bows on babies. It seems cruel to put a bow the size of a house on your newborn's head when she can't even hold her own head up yet. I am pro-bow, but I'm pro-bows that are proportionate to the size of the baby. In this same vein, I hate staged baby photos. You know the ones, like putting a baby in a watermelon or a pumpkin. Or a bucket. Wearing nothing but a 5 pound bow.



12. Award shows. The Oscars, The Academy Awards, The Emmys. Whatever. If I ever need to be punished, then force me to watch one. I don't care one tiny bit about celebrities. I don't care what people are wearing. I don't know why I should be expected to care that they wear dresses more expensive than my car and are congratulating themselves for movies and tv shows I have zero interest in watching. I want no part of it. Yawn.

13. I enjoy doing laundry. It's by far my favorite chore. It's so easy! You throw dirty clothes in the washer, and they're washed for you! Then you put them in the dryer, and they're dried for you! Putting them away isn't always fun, but Gracie puts her own clothes away now, and she helps me with the rest, so it really doesn't seem that awful to me. It gives me all the satisfaction and very little frustration.

14. I can't do Breaking Bad or The Walking Dead. I watched a little of each, and they left me feeling gross. I won't touch Game of Thrones with a ten foot pole. I am bored to tears by Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Maybe this means I'm not smart enough to understand, but so be it.

15. YA literature is the worst. My teen years were not easy, and the last thing I want to do is relive the stress and awkwardness by reading about it again, and I always find it strange that grown adults like reading novels about teens. Every time I've broken my No YA rule to read something, I've regretted it.

16. I do not understand the Hamilton craze. PUT DOWN YOUR STONES. CALM DOWN. Maybe it's amazing, I don't know. I've only heard a little and just, meh. Everyone is ripping their hair out over it which means I would probably hate it. I could eat my words on this one day, I KNOW. I just really don't like modern day Broadway or musical theater. I find it annoying. I know people are trying to punch me through their screens right now, especially my fellow music nerds, but give me the old stuff instead!

17. Abbreviated words and phrases are v annoying to me, tbh.



Do you agree/disagree? I want to hear. What are your unpopular opinions?

19 comments:

  1. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. And you definitely did NOT disappoint. I agree 100% with almost all of these. I don't mind cold shoulder shirts, I kind of like them tbh...(haha)...I do like Star Wars and LOTR and the early seasons of TWD (but NOT Breaking Bad)...and I enjoy lettering. Er, calligraphy. But the rest of these? PREACH, GIRRRRL.

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  2. 1, 4, 5, 6, 8, 8.5, 12, 14, 15 16, 17 - YES! 2 - I'm not good at group texts. I have people in my life that love them and I just don't. I never have anything to say! 3 - I wish I could hand-letter, so I'm tempted to unfollow because I get jealous, haha! 7 - Used to likeTaylor Swift, but she hit her party girl stage and got all weird. Now she just makes me sad. 9, 10, 11 - Can't agree, but I still love ya anyway. ;-) 15 -I've found a couple YA novels I like, but so many are depressing, and slightly inappropriate! 13 - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? :-P

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  3. 1 + 4 Maybe it's because I don't really spend money in the first place, but I don't get the appeal of any of these. The one MLM I liked was I think called "Tastefully Simple" and that's because my aunt always had those parties when I was a teenager and I got to stand next to the food table and eat a lot while all the grown up chatted.
    2. I like my group chat between Angel, his brother, sis-in-law, and me. I have to be in group chats with the rest of the leadership at our church because I lead a ministry and I utterly detest those.
    3. I do like doing handlettering, I agree that most people are gravitating towards a certain style. I can't really do legit brush lettering because it doesn't work great for left-handers but I like arranging words and mixing fonts for quotes.
    5,6,7 - I don't know much about smartphone apps in general, let alone these ridiculous filters, and I definitely don't know anything about celebrity news.
    8. I don't really watch cartoons, if so, not more than once, unless it's Toy Story, because Toy Story is amazing. I do love Disney amusement parks and amusement parks in general...but the Disney parks have been cleaner and more creatively designed, in my opinion, than the average amusement park.
    No on Target. No on cold shoulder shirts.
    10. I LOVE road trips. My favorite ever. Some of my best memories with Angel. Granted, he's the driver and I sleep and I never even get the slightest bit carsick.
    11. I agree with you.
    12. Never seen an award show before.
    13. Laundry is easy. I don't even have a dryer and I think it's easy. I don't know what people complain about. I was the oldest of 7 kids in a family without a dryer and laundry was still no big deal so I don't get the laundry drama.
    14. Star Wars and LOTR are classics for me, but I have never seen any of those other shows and never would.
    15, 16, 17 Agree. I know Hamilton is a play and I assume it's American history but other than that I don't know anything about it.

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  4. Instagram filters. Thank you. I have been meaning to rant about them for a while now. They are ridiculous. But I do love me a good road trip. We grew up taking them as a family and I have so many fond memories.

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  5. I do love group texts! :)

    I also do not understand instagram filters. Especially when the person posts several stories in a row of them talking seriously about something, yet their face is a puppy dog. What in the world?

    I feel similarly about Target and sometimes wonder what I'm missing. I rarely ever go, and when I do I never go in for one thing and spend a hundred dollars. I think their stuff is overpriced.

    Laughing out loud about the laundry thing. I never thought about it that way, but you're totally right. It basically does the job for you. I shall never complain about laundry again.

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  6. I agree with SO MANY of these!!

    I don't mind group texts. We have one going with some friends who just moved away and it's so nice to be able to all have a conversation even though they aren't here anymore.

    MLMs...just stop. Maybe it's because I don't have the personality to be in sales but I feel like 90% of those people are just pushy and annoying. I DON'T WANT TO JOIN YOUR FACEBOOK PARTY.

    Cold shoulder shirts? Nope. Taylor Swift? Even more nope.

    I liked Breaking Bad I'm with you on the others. I watched half an episode of The Walking Dead but didn't like it at all, and I have no interest whatsoever in Game of Thrones.

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  7. I don't even know what a cold shoulder shirt is!

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  8. You are breaking my heart with some of these but I hope we can still be friends.

    kidding, because I am obviously going to hold you hostage in our friendship FOREVS K THX V MUCH LYLAS.

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  9. Hahaha- that meme with the grandmothers' photos. That's amusing :)
    I don't mind the lettering craze. (I actually envy those with the skills, ha.) I also don't necessarily mind people who do oils or MLMs... just don't push it on me unless I ask about it. Haha!
    I'm ok with Taylor Swift but I don't need any Beyonce in my life. I'm also a group text hater (for the most part...).
    I do like Disney, though. Like, I want to go to Disney World again and I wear my Lion King sweatshirt at home kind of "like." Nothing too crazy (IMO). (<-- abbreviated phrase... oops)
    I like award shows for their Twitter action. And I love Target because I love it... ha.

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  10. LONG LIVE OUR GROUP TEXTS.

    I don't understand Beyonce either. I don't understand people who say they want to be her. Parade around a stage with my boobs popping out my top and fishnet leggings on? No thank you.

    We'll have to agree to disagree on the bows. ;) I know I went overboard with the bows but I didn't care. I wanted everything as girly as possible. I've seen baby girls wearing 6'' bows which is a place I draw the line.

    My friend recently became a LLR consultant and she calls her husband her "luluabro. NO.

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  11. I was on board until #7, but I was quick to hop back on for the rest.

    Super agree with it being weird when adults live for Disney. Landon and I have a couple friends who have season passes to Disney Land and go A LOT. And they live here in Utah and don't have kids! We were just talking about how we thought it was weird the other night, glad you back us up with this one.

    I don't get Beyonce. I don't get her one bit.

    Essential oils- I'm not going to buy a cabinet full and never see a doctor again, but a couple Christmas's ago Landon was really sick and had a fever of 104 degrees. He wasn't insured at the time and I was really worried because I didn't know what to do to make him feel better, but I also didn't want to fork out cash for an ER visit. My MIL had a couple bottles and I don't even remember what I put on him, but within an hour his fever broke and he was able to fall asleep. It could have been a total coincidence or it may have helped, the jury is out. It still wasn't enough for me to buy an entire apothecary, and now that he has health insurance again I'd just take him to the hospital.

    If I had a dollar for every MLM I've been invited to become part of, I'd have enough to start my own. The Mormon Moms out here an out of control.

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    1. OH- and just a heads up, you probably won't understand mine and Landon's Halloween costumes this year because it's Walking Dead related; big fans. But I'm with you on Breaking Bad. But I credit that mostly to the fact that my dad is a recovering Meth addict and it just hit a little close to home. haha Also haven't watched Game of Thrones, but that's due to the fact that Landon has read all the books and is boycotting the tv show because George R.R. Martin has continued the story through the tv show and not the books and he is feeling betrayed.

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  12. Hahaha! Michelle, it is so refreshing to hear you preach these unpopular opinions (even if I disagree with some of them-cough LOTR and Star Wars-cough); you remind me of the kid in the story "The Emperor's New Clothes" who point-blank said that he was naked.
    Literally just the other week I was thinking about how in 5 years, my now-toddler will probably look around and see all of the "artwork" and "printables" and clothes with inspirational clothes and be like, "mom, why did everybody write that one weird way?" I think one of the things that bugs me (and I'm probably drawing too much depth from it, but humor me please) is that it seems to reflect our current cultural climate of only doing things that are easily accessible and super-trendy, and that we aren't willing to sacrifice and commit anymore. Like, back in the day, people did legit calligraphy. It was gorgeous, it was challenging, it required some commitment (getting the proper materials), and it took A LOT of time. But now, we have hand-lettering, which is super accessible and within minutes, you can go from unartistic to having Pinterest-worthy inspirational quotes.

    That bow meme is hilarious! I feel the same way. Also, yes, THANK YOU for mentioning the filters. I think it's the stupidest thing ever when rational adults start putting filters of dogs or other weird things on their faces (and using that for a Facebook profile picture?!?!?!?!). Like, it wouldn't be weird for a kid to do that. But adults? No thank you.

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  13. I laughed at this whole post. Gosh, sometimes it's so nice to have a bitch session. I feel lucky I don't know what this lettering craze is or what MLMs are, but I definitely feel about as irritated as you do without any exposure to them though. Speaking of unpopular opinions, the other night I admitted to Scott that I don't think I like Dr. Seuss stories (ok The Grinch is fine and maybe The Lorax). They are just SO LONG, I always skip chunks of pages when I'm really tired and reading them to Avalon and it never matters. Also, the Cat in the Hat stresses me out. What a menace. Hate Star Wars too.

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  14. You are hilarious as usual and I agree with so many of these. But! I WILL GO DOWN with the Hamilton ship and I won't throw stones at you while I do! In full disclosure (or should I say tbh?), it took me a year plus, with my two best girlfriends and my husband bugging me about it, to finally listen to the whole thing in about 3 sessions. But it is SOOOOO freaking amazing, and this is from the girl who's like "ewww rap music". Because it's only part rap anyway and it's so freakishly well written you'd appreciate it. Seriously. You will thank yourself. (Now let's see if I can actually publish this comment.) ~Stephanie

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    1. I actually looooove some good rap. Most Broadway just sounds so...screechy to me. If I ever had tickets I would totally go see it, though :)

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  15. 1. Amen
    3. I, too, am jealous. By I agree with you.
    4. Invite me to like your page. Mention it once in casual conversion. That's all cool, but don't make me feel responsible for feeding your family. And your social media should be so much more than an ad for your business. I will mute you.
    5. YES YES YES
    6. I have long tbought this. I don't even think her music sounds like music.
    8. You have two of these. I am also not obsessed with Disney. I also think Target and similar stores are just okay.
    9. Pleae do! I feel uncomfortably chilled every time I see them.
    11. This wins the day.
    14. Shut your dirty mouth about Star Wars. Those TV shows are all a little intense, but Star Wars? And Lord of the Rings? Yet you read Austen...
    15. I agree for the most part, but don't pretend you didn't like The Hunger Games.
    16. I know nothing abput it, except that it's supposed to be a big deal.
    17. KEVIN! Ily. (Agreed.)

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  16. I have more to comment on this later BUT .... MLM's! Seriously, might as well be called Jehovah Witnesses on steroids. So freaking annoying! I actually read an article how it is addictive and I believe it. My sweet friend posted a picture of herself post run and some sun spots showed up in her pictures and THREE people messaged her about Rodan & Fields. I was appalled for her. People need to get a grip on life.

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  17. I'm back-reading because it's been entirely too long, and I'm lol'ing @ the cold shoulder shirts. Mostly because I didn't know that's what they are called until LITERALLY YESTERDAY. And also because I hate them, too.

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