6.12.2018

some notes on life lately






1. Life lately has been a comedy of errors.

I keep planting flower seeds just for them to get washed away by a rainstorm later that day. I'm 3 for 3, though I have a couple lone zinnias coming up. Last summer I grew a slew of vegetables, flowers, and strawberries from a partially-shaded balcony. Everything flourished and nothing died. This year I can't get one flower to grow.

Gracie learned the hard way to listen to your parents when they tell you to stay away from the hot pan on the stove. She has a nasty burn on her chin, though thankfully it didn't seem to traumatize her that much. We put a brand new dress on her for church that arrived from her great grandma the day before. Her burn started bleeding and blood got all over her new dress just as we were leaving for church. James' fishing pole was still in the car, and apparently it had hooked itself to the seatbelt. After a losing battle, he had to cut if out with pliers. By that point, we went from leaving early for church to leaving excessively late. Once on the road, we got behind a truck hauling hay at 20 mph and no way to pass. James asked me if we should just turn around and go home since everything was going wrong and we were going to be 30 minutes late at that point. I made an impassioned speech about not getting ready and scrubbing blood out of a dress for nothing, so we carried on. Once we got to church, there was a turn of events that kept Gracie and James out of the service.

Basically, we should've turned around and gone home.

2. There's a church in my town that serves free meals for kids every weekday in the summer. It's just to serve the community, which is awesome. My friend and I took our kids yesterday. It was pouring and I didn't feel like leaving, but I felt like making Gracie lunch even less. I sat there and watched her eat a hot dog, pasta salad, baked beans, grapes, strawberries, chips, pink lemonade, and a cookie. I was salivating. I forced myself not to steal a bite, because all I could think about was the time I got reprimanded for eating a cookie at story time. The tuna salad I had when I got home was much less exciting.

3. I finished reading Educated the other day. It's the best book I've read in a long while. I can't stop thinking about it. I wish I could read it all over again for the first time. It was HORRIFYING. I'll have a full review coming soon. It's hard to read but READ IT AND DISCUSS IT WITH ME ASAP.

4. I did a big baby/toddler clothes purge and organization during nap time. I got everything down to one large and one small tub. I put everything away before getting Gracie up, but she found the bag with my pump and bottles. She's in a phase of pretending to be a baby, especially since she's seen me holding a lot of babies and occasionally giving a bottle. I let her have one to play with, and before I knew it she was asking for milk, then she was asking me to hold her like a baby and feed her, and then she wanted me to burp her. Adorable. Not so adorable two hours later. No matter where I am or what she's doing, she runs into the room and eagerly squeals "you wanna go feed the Gracie baby?!" Somehow she went from playing with baby dolls to being the baby doll. I won't lie, it's helping satisfy that small part of me that misses having a little baby, but I forgot how hard it is to never have a free hand.

5. Speaking of a clothes purge, I sold one of Gracie's shirts online and CRIED. I CRIED. Over a shirt I bought last year for $5 that she wore twice. I feel like I'm selling a piece of my memories or her childhood or something completely irrational like that. After I poured out my feelings to my mom, it seems this particular hardship is genetic. I'm not the first woman in the family to cry over outgrown kid clothes.

6.  Did I tell you there's a s-n-a-k-e aka Danger Noodle that's trying to take up residence under our AC unit? There is nothing on planet earth I fear more. I've survived tornadoes, wildfires, hurricanes, and blizzards, but put me next to one of those things and I would gladly go through the previous disasters all at once. I can never go in the backyard again. James waited days to tell me because he knew my knees would buckle and I would threaten to sell the house. He was right. He tried to flush it out and we haven't seen it all week, so fingers crossed it went back home to hell. Speaking of, I named it Lucy. Short for Lucifer. How Eve was tempted by one of those creatures to eat an apple, I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.

7. I had a whole post I wanted to write about the spa day (more like spa hour) James gave me for Mother's Day, but it was right as I plunged into weeks of bronchitis and a visit with my in-laws, and that wiped my brain of all the details and anecdotes I wanted to talk about. It was the most magnificent hour and a half-ish of my life. I think about it every single day. The one thing I remember the most was the fact that I had a particularly full bladder but felt too shy to ask where the bathroom is (THIS IS MY LIFE). The room I was in had a water fountain. See where this is going? I did not wet myself, but I was so relaxed you better believe it took some serious effort not to.

8. I love Callie's post on a decade of blogging. I'm coming up on 7 years, and I echo all her thoughts. Blogging is like a ghost town these days, abandoned blogs littering the internet. It's so sad to me. Thankfully there are a few old-fashioned blogs still around, but even commenting and interacting has gone way down because if it's not in an Instagram soundbite that you can acknowledge with a double tap, what's the point? I don't say that in a "leave me comments!" kind of way, but because I love and miss the interaction that takes place behind the scenes in email replies. I love getting to know people and their interests and life. Back in the blogging glory days of 2012-2013 I worked a job that required maybe an actual hour of work per day, and I spent the rest of the day interacting with other bloggers. I loved it! I built so many relationships, some of them still standing strong today. I have a lot I could say on the big bloggers who write next to nothing and push their sponsored posts and giveaways, but I won't. I'm thankful there are still some people around who love writing about their lives, and even though I've had times where I've felt silly for being one of the last bloggers standing, I have no intention of quitting. Everything in this world is monetized and commercialized lately, and while many moms help their family out with a few sponsored posts (I TOTALLY get it, I've been tempted), not making money from my blog and continuing to write about things that definitely won't go viral is my own little way of pushing back against the madness.

Also--why do we say viral? Technically, medically speaking, viral is a bad thing. It means you're sick. And yet, in society, people want to go viral. HMMMMMMMMMMM.

9. I've heard a lot of good reviews about the My Favorite Murder podcast. I downloaded one of their mini episodes to check it out. So good. I picked the worst possible time to listen about serial killers: walking down a barren country road all by myself, no houses in sight. I nearly started shaking with fear every time a car went by. There was one story about a girl's partner in high school gym class who turned out to be a murderer and in his 20s, enrolling in random high schools. So crazy! I tried another episode and I think there were 20 F bombs in the first 2 minutes. I don't flinch at occasional swearing, but mass quantities of it turns me off, so I switched to something else. I'm definitely going to try it again, though, because I love a good murder story and the hosts were funny. I wound up listening to the Sheologians episode on grieving (called Good Grief). It was convicting and so timely. I highly recommend it to anyone going through a hard time--it will challenge you.

Speaking of walks, after a recent walk, I discovered that a mosquito had gotten stuck in my bra. I don't need to elaborate on that, do I?

Like I said, comedy of errors.

18 comments:

  1. Asking for the bathroom is SO AWKWARD. But I'm glad you had an awesome spa day and made it through without incident!

    I have to listen to My Favorite Murder in spurts. I love it but sometimes it gets to be too much.

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  2. wow things definitely went bad on Sunday..
    sorry to hear about Gracie's burn. My youngest burned his hand when he was little when he tried to take toast out of the toaster by himself.. ointment with silver in it does wonders.
    oh children regressing is the worst.. when my youngest came along my newly potty trained eldest wanted to wear diapers again.

    http://www.henatayeb.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks for the tip!

      Haha! That sounds like something my daughter would do.

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  3. Being too shy to ask for something is my everyday life- I feel you, girl!

    G’s obsession with being the baby is the most adorable thing. I wish I lived closer so I could get some of those snuggles.

    I completely agree with you on the blogging thing! I enjoy reading your blog and a few others- I love hearing people tell about stories and open up about real life. I wish I would have stuck more with blogging- I miss posting sometimes, just feel like I wasn’t very good at being able to connect with others.

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    1. THE STRUGGLE. Somedays I think I've outgrown in, and other days I feel like a terrified 5 year old again!

      I wish, too! My arms are starting to ache ;)

      You can blog again!!! It takes time to build those connections. Lots of time and trial and error. Keep at it <3

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  4. Okay, I really feel like I need to pick up Educated now! You are making it sound so interesting. I just started The Road To Jonestown, which I think is a recommendation I got from you, and oh my word. It’s like a train wreck, I can’t turn away! I might try My Favorite Murder, there is a weird part of me that is fascinated by true crime (especially if the criminal is caught and justice is served). Thanks so much for the shoutout - I’m so glad you are keeping at blogging too! Yours has long been a favorite to read, and you inspire me to keep going too. 😊

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  5. I miss the days of old school blogging as well. I dont know when it turned into such a 'advertising' form of communication. I miss the old days of just talking about life & struggles & joys - & connecting in a unique way. We gotta keep sticking together - I think it'll come back around. All the shine always fades off things.

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  6. I get emotional thinking about the golden age of blogging. I loved nothing more than sitting down at my desk and going through my blog reader while having my coffee every morning.

    As for MFM-- sorry to report that every episode is littered with F bombs. The minisodes might not be as bad because they are reading emails listeners send in. If you're looking for something less offensive but still true crime related, Accused is very well done. Lore is good, too.

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  7. When I was pregnant I put my entire hand on a hot element. Had the three-ringed burn marks for a while. Baby brain got the hard blame for that one.

    I definitely have a harder time getting rid of my daughters clothes than my sons. I didn’t keep any of my boy stuff. I’ve kept one baby girl outfit, and have said goodbye to many other loved ones. I try to make sure I have pictures of her in my favourites.

    I find the world of blogging and sponsored posts fascinating. Times are changing and marketing has to change with it. People scroll through Instagram more than flip through magazines now, so that’s where the advertising money needs to go. I only read a couple small journaling types blogs like yours and then a few large decorating blogs where the blog etc are an actual business. It makes sense to me. I’d sooner respond positively to a post of somebody using a product than a full-page picture of a product on a page. I don’t have an opinion of smaller blogs doing sponsored posts, but I’m sure those people have their reasons, and if businesses want to put their money there, go right ahead. It’s okay to be dubious of marketing though. It’s all tricks to get you to spend your money on their product!

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  8. You described my fear of snakes EXACTLY. I don't know what it is but those devil creatures scare the daylights out of me. There is one that lives in some sort of crack or hole between the foundation/basement window sill and I about die every time I see it crawling in there. One of these days I'm going to pour some bleach or something down the hole because I'm afraid it's going to end up in our basement somehow! I hope you find a way to get rid of yours! I started a Blogger blog back in 2013 but have always had some sort of online journal going way back to the junior high days. I enjoy reading blogs that are more about every day life but it seems that those are few & far between, unfortunately.

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  9. I agree completely about blogging. I don't do it for the likee or comments, but I've noticed a SERIOUS decrease in all that since 2016 and earlier. Not as much community and interaction. It makes me sad.
    I actually really like snakes. Hahaha. We lived in our old house for 4 years and not until that final fall did I ever see a snake. And then I watched that snake eat a toad. It was so disgusting and cool. Hahaha.

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  10. I'm so glad you had a wonderful spa hour for Mother's Day! That sounds lovely. And great job doing the clothes purge. It's admirable that you made a solid commitment to change once you started talking about it on the blog!

    Your thoughts on blogging are really interesting. I've been blogging about 7 years as well, but for the first 3ish years of blogging, I think only like 2 people read my blog, and it was more of a journal/place to put my rambles. Back then, I only read a couple blogs (mainly those of my very good friends who had a similar approach to blogging). So in a way, I feel like I missed out on seeing the "golden age" of blogging play out. I guess there was a short period of time where I'd frequent a couple "big" blogs that were pretty personal and rambly and fun, but now it seems like a lot of those bloggers-while still doing a fairly good job keeping things lighthearted and fun-manage to turn nearly every post into a product endorsement or reminder about a bundle that's on sale. And it seems hard, as a small blogger, to do cool things if you're not willing to turn it into a money opportunity. Like, the other day I spent a bit of time trying to figure out how to create a blogging newsletter, because I thought it'd be a fun personal touch to add-but I found that even though there are various sites that have free newsletter options, those still require an e-mail address connected with a paid domain; so it's not really "free" after all. Ugh!

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  11. DANGER NOODLE LOL

    I agree with all the sentiments about blogging.

    I wish I liked podcasts more!! Every time I hear about them I think how interesting some of them sound...but then I turn one on and literally 5 minutes later I have no idea what they said because I tune them out. Same with books on tape. I think I would need to be taking a long drive and have nothing better to listen to, but there's no such thing as a "long drive" around these parts and at home I just can't pay attention.

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  12. So many times I have been too shy to ask where something is at the store so I left without it and went to another store. The level of peptalk required for me to ask where the sundried tomatoes are is ridiculous.

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  13. Your #8 is really hitting me in the feels! I couldn't have said it better! I've been thinking about blogging and how it's changed SO much lately. I've had my small corner of the internet for 7 years now too, and while the frequency at which I post has really slowed for a number of reasons - one of those reasons is that I kind of feel like no one's out there anymore. That interaction with other bloggers is what always kept me inspired and what made blogging so fun. In fact, I re-found your blog through re-finding Laura's blog (Oh Laura Darling) and when I landed on your page I was like, omg I remember Michelle! Anyway, long story short - I miss how blogging used to be and I miss spending all my mornings reading and commenting on blogs - real, good, blogs about people and their lives. Well said!

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    1. Aw this makes me so happy! I miss the old days. I'm holding out hope that the tide will turn one of these days.

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