6.25.2018

as a descendant of Dwight K. Schrute, I approve this message



Greetings from the great state of Iowa!

Gracie and I ventured out here a few days ago. I had been so proud of myself for not getting very anxious about the trip like I usually do. Then the night before, I was such a nervous wreck and battling a migraine so bad I nearly threw up. The drive itself wasn't our worst but was certainly not the best. We hit some rough patches of weather, potholes so bad I was positive my tires were shredded, and truck drivers who definitely shouldn't be on the road and nearly killed us 6 times over. I was a bundle of nerves, but we made it safe and sound and had the perfect weekend.

We spent Saturday at a food truck competition on the Mississippi River. It could not have been a more small town, midwestern American summer day if it tried. We sampled the wares (one being a brat with MAC N CHEESE INSIDE!!!) and Gracie danced her heart out to a cover band playing CCR's Bad Moon Rising. We went out for ice cream after to cool off from the intense Iowa humidity.




I was basking in the air conditioning and sugar rush when James called. Lowe's had delivered our fridge, but no one could figure out how to turn the water off to hook up the water line. Apparently the water line to the fridge had no shut off, which is consistent with how things have gone with our house over the past 7 months. I knew where the main water shut off to the house was, because our realtor broke it, then had a plumber come fix it which the seller discovered during an unauthorized visit while we were at closing and KICKED THE PLUMBER OUT.

But I'm not still bitter or anything.

Our realtor walked me to the water main and spoon fed me what to do if something floods and we need to shut the water off. Unfortunately this was not useful information when our laundry room flooded.

I told James it was in the laundry room behind the dryer. He said he turned it but nothing shut off. I told him he was crazy. He insisted. The delivery guys hunted the entire house and garage, finding nothing. I told him to call our realtor. Our realtor insisted the shut off was in the crawl space. I knew this was absolutely false given our previous experience together. James crawled under the house for 15 minutes, tracing pipes and water lines (my actual worst nightmare) and found nothing.

No one could figure out how to shut the water off, but somehow the delivery guys managed to hook up the water line. I did not ask for details. Keep in mind this is the exact spot where we found blood under the carpet. It must be a cursed spot in our home. I took another bite of ice cream and thanked the Lord in heaven that I wasn't home dealing with it.

Several hours later, James told me that the spot I told him was the water shut was, indeed, the water shut off. It apparently took much longer than he expected for the water to run out of the line.

My angst over the water drama quickly subsided when James sent me pictures of the fridge. It is BEAUTIFUL. And massive. And perfect. And I can't wait to go home and hug it and rearrange everything he put inside.

Later that night, I got an even better gift. I've always known that my grandparents/great-grandparents and beyond were all farmers in California. This is not new information. However, my grandma sent a picture of my great-grandfather who I never met. He was...wait for it...A BEET FARMER.

A. BEET. FARMER.

DWIGHT SCHRUTE IS MY GREAT-GRANDFATHER AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER. It explains so many things. I didn't even know there were actual beet farmers in the world!!! My mom has become obsessed with The Office and was relishing this information, knowing it would give me boundless joy. It did and it has and it will forevermore.

And let us never forget I share a birthday with Michael Gary Scott. 

On Sunday, we went to a local dairy farm offering a free lunch, tours, and a petting zoo. Most people go to the beach in the summer; I go to a dairy farm in Iowa. I feel bad for the people at the beach. As I said just few weeks ago, I am OBSESSED with farms and farm animals and everything involved. I was more excited than Gracie. I was giddy. I loved every single minute of it. I pet all the cows, trying to force myself not to push kids out of the way. There were baby cows, goats, pigs, SO MANY COWS, vintage tractors, and ice cream.








The only thing missing were beets.

But at least I have plenty of room for some in my new fridge.



5 comments:

  1. This sounds so perfect and homey! I have a really soft spot for farms--the great-grandpa that Cyrus is named after was a vegetable farmer who made his living selling vegetables on the side of the road, 4 generations of my family worked on that farm, and my other great-grandparents had a hobby farm which is the farmhouse that I lived in as a little kid which used all of its pastureland for dairy cows for most of my memory. I know there's a lot of heavy, dirty work involved in farming but it's the kind of work that feels really real, and I do have a pretty big draw to it. Though...I prefer veggies to animals. :P

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  2. Oh, those cows!! I love them!!!
    A new fridge is one of the greatest things in the world. No lie. (Is this how we end up coming to terms with the fact that we're actual adults? *SOB*)

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  3. HAHA. A beet farmer. Please tell me Dwight's cousin is out there roaming the beet fields :) LOL!!!!!

    Oh lordy, I wouldn't want to be home either with men going everywhere turning knobs & turning things on & off. Makes me wonder now where my water valves are all at too.

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  4. That weekend sounds amazing. I've heard so many good things about Iowa, and this post only serves to bolster its already rosy image in my mind. This really makes me want to visit a dairy farm! I don't know how many we have in my area, but I'm sure they are around. And the Braum's processing plant isn't that far from us, and who knows-maybe they offer ice cream with their free tours?

    I am also incredibly excited to hear that Dwight is in your lineage. That's pretty epic. If I was related to a beet farmer, I'd totally live it up, too.

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  5. New fridges are amazing! We have a cheap one but I like it so much better than our old one. Hopefully this will be the end of house drama for awhile, but probably not because that’s what it means to own a home.

    I’m so jealous of your cow petting! Nick thinks I’m crazy because I would love to own a cow!

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